Wedding Forum - open bar! are you joking?

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Wedding related rants: open bar! are you joking?

1 to 48 of 48

- CommentAuthorBryonyEminson2Be
Recently someone i know (who has never married and honestly says she has no plans to be) was talking to me about my venue, its a nice venue and pretty cheap for our area at under £4000, she said she was surprised it was so cheap with an open bar, of course my reply was it isnt an open bar since just adding the open bar would more than double the price- her reply was that if it wasnt an open bar there would have to be one drink that was free all night like H2Bs fave drink or something and we would pay for anyone who wanted it to have it all night, or we would have to have a "dry wedding" with no alcohol for anyone and i am horrible for expecting people to buy their own drinks (she knows that wedding breakfast guests will have 3 drinks each paid for by us for arrival meal and toasts)
now whenever i have attended a wedding it has been a case of buy your own drinks outside of those 3 provided by the couple- i thought this was the norm now really
i simply told her that if people wanted a drink they would buy their own or they would be thirsty while those willing to paid for their drinks- weddings are expensive enough without adding an open bar just so people can get drunk quicker
if i could afford an open bar then yes i would have it but i also know that for a lot of people it isnt really an option
would you double your venue price for an open bar?

And my soul saw yours and said
"oh, I have been looking for you"
we met 07/09/2004. we loved 28/02/2012
we'll marry- 14.08.2021
- CommentAuthorsarah
Does she read a lot of American wedding blogs? Most of the venues in my area don't offer open bars and would probably think you were having a laugh if you requested an open bar.
Someone needs to get her head out of the clouds and back to reality.
- CommentAuthorElinor Claire
We won't be having an open bar. The package at the venue includes wine with the meal and a drink on arrival, but that's it. I actually don't think I've ever been to a wedding which had an open bar. I don't think it's unreasonable to expect guests to buy their own drinks

30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
- CommentAuthorBecky1608
I refuse to pay for a free bar. Our package includes welcome drink, 1/2 bottle of wine per person and a toast drink. I've been to a few weddings in the past couple of years and this has been the typical trend. I would never expect for all my drinks to be paid for as a guest! Xxx

29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
- CommentAuthorMrsK2b
  
  edited
We havent got an open bar, we have got either pimms, rose wine, bottle of beer, orange juice, unlimited J20 (only because we paid £9 per person for it) water, 1/2 bottle of wine on the table, 1 glass for toasting.

We have paid extra (£25) jugs of pimms and they are going to come round and top up the people who are drinking pimms.

Is she going to the whole day or just the evening?

Cant wait until I become Mrs K

- CommentAuthorValentinaK
I agree with your title... are you joking!? Lol...

Do not feel pressured for an open bar. If you want to allow a drink to be on offer after the meal (which I wouldn't cos effectively they're going to have 5 strong drinks in reality... reception, 3 small glasses during meal if half a bottle and finally toast drink) have a cap on the bar. Or provide a drink "voucher" to guests.

I personally would not do open bar! The bar prices are reasonable, and I don't want my guests coming just to get blotto, those who are, are clearly rough chavvy nasty people not worth having!

Your friend really has no idea! I'd just tell her straight! And tell her tough, when she has her wedding (or not!) she can have an open bar, but you're not made of money!

And we lived happily ever after!
- CommentAuthorMrsRusty2B
The venue that we're going to be booking did offer us the option of an open bar but we turned it down. In other words (for the most part) guests will have to pay for their own drinks (whether they're drinking alcohol or not)
- CommentAuthorBeckyU98
definitely not! we have spent £14,000 without an open bar and even that is a ridiculous amount of money for a wedding. we have paid nearly £75 a head for people to come the least they can do is buy their own drinks! H2B originally wanted to put a £1000 bar tab on but when the costs were adding up he soon changed his mind lol x
- CommentAuthorbumblebumble
My FIL2B paid for a part open bar at my Brother IL2B's wedding and has told H2B that we will get the same. So we will be having wine, beer and soft drinks paid for but I have only ever been to one wedding with a partly open bar!

I think she's living in yankee land! We don't seem to do that over here as much!

x Keeley x
- CommentAuthorMrsH-2B
I've never been to a wedding with an open bar.. My mum wants to put some money behind the bar but I've told her no.. We're (she's) already paying for a 3 course meal, arrival drink, toast drink, and 3 bottles of wine per table, canapés and evening buffet.. They can spend out just for their drink.. Our venue doesn't bump the prices up for weddings like a lot of venues do, so it's not going to cost £8 a round for two people like its cost us before.. Xxx

I can't wait to become his Wife :-) 4th July 2015
- CommentAuthorRachelE65
Open bars are an american thing arent they? ive never known anyone to have an open bar apart from seeing it on tv!

Marrying my best friend 14/09/2013
- CommentAuthorFutureMrsCoy
Omg!! That's so cheeky!!!!! You're paying enough as it is. I've never been to wedding where there is an open bar. You're paying for their meal/drinks at the wedding breakfast. It's not a lot to ask to buy their own drinks other than that x
- CommentAuthorAna40
We will not be having an open bar. I think it's a personal choice, but I think providing them with a few glasses at the table is more than enough. X
- CommentAuthornadia13
I think it was rude of her to say!! Your paying for her meal as it is!!! We had two cocktails each per guests wiv canapés while we were having the photos done ( one drink each came wiv package but paid for an extra) half a bottle of wine each wiv the meal and a glass of champagne for the toast which also came with the package!! And went to a friends wedding 6 weeks after and we didn't even get a drink wiv our meal or toast ( we had to clap for the bride ect) we had to buy at the bar wiv no one behind at meal time .... Still a lovely wedding & it was their choice ( there was water & orange juice)
- CommentAuthorCatherineR
Seriously?? How rude!! There's no way we'd be able to afford an open bar.. We are paying out for food and wine during the meal as it is so the least people can do is buy a drink or two. Couples nowadays don't have the money to do this, is she aware how much it would cost extra to do this?! At the end of the day, if she wants to drink, she can buy her own. We are worried about people getting bladdered particularly as there'll be a fair amount of students from our uni days! xx

Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
- CommentAuthorCatherineR
Mind you, at my cousin's wedding last month.. Half a dozen of the men went to the pub across the road to get a pint as there was no beer - My Dad, uncle, FOB and the photographer!! Save to say my cousin wasn't pleased!!

Married my wife on 15.08.15
Honeymooned on the Isles of Scilly :)
- CommentAuthorMundith
im hoping to be putting money behind for drinks for my mum/stepdad, dad/stepmum, MIL/FIL and brother as they have really done alot to help us (they drink alot and have expensive taste but they are worth it) everyone else can buy their own as at £4.40 a pint its a bit much to expect an open bar for everyone!

Tradition is not for us ;)
Future Mrs M
- CommentAuthorJoanna
What a ridiculous thing for her to say! I would never pay for an open bar. I've never been to anywhere with an open bar and I've never heard of a wedding venue even offer it to be honest. Just ignore her x

The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
- CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
I wouldnever offer an open bar. My family would have me bankrupt in an hour lol. I am gonna speak to my venue nearer the time about the few children at our wedding having unlimited soft drinks for the night as the money spent at the bar will be absurd. night time guests are gonna be in the region of 130 and i reckon if each guest is gonna have 4 or 5 drinks each minimum then that is a hell of a lot of money they will make off the back of the bar. I also know there are a couple of older guests who wont drink at all and so going to ask if i can have free tea and coffee for them but this is something to discuss nearer the time when i have my final numbers xx
- CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
id never offer an open bar either and its very rude of her to even say that to u
x

Ill marry my hero
- CommentAuthorTaidiN
Not to be horrible but you friend its very rude. I getting married for a few years yet but im looking at the prices for it all now. And OMG your friend hasn't thought about how much that the wedding is costing you. I have only been to weddings that you pay for your own drink. For me if i could afford an open bar i wouldn't won't one as i couldnt be sure that a fight wouldn't brake out and ruining the whole day. Xxxxx
- CommentAuthor*The NewMrsMalin*
Expecting you both to pay for an endless supply of drinks for everyone is rude; like you said; if people want extra drinks then I'm sure they are happy to get their own...

Met in 2009
Got together on12th May 2011, proposed on the 12th May 2013
When you get knocked down; smile and pick yourself up again!
Fight for what you believe in!
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I have been to a wedding with an "open bar" in uk, but they just provided about 5 selections and was in a marquee at there massive house and they are rather well off , but did not expect it. The other wedding i've been to have always be by your own booze, we are planning on paying for 1 drink for each of the evening guests, as the day guests will have already had enough spent on them on food and drink. then after that its all for yourselves.

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorFernP61
I be never been to a wedding with an open bar nor would I ever have one myself am going to put wine on the table but that's it x
- CommentAuthorbarbie86
We're spending an absolute fortune on alcohol/drinks (around £4.5k) and that doesn't include an open bar; and the tab will also be restricted to certain drinks.

Providing a fully open bar (ie unlimited free drinks of the guests' choosing) would have cost probably another few thousand on top, and was simply not an option. I think we're being extremely generous as it is.

The only thing I think the couple should provide is drinks with the meal; which can be soft drinks if they choose. I also find the whole 'open bar or dry wedding' concept SO patronising to guests; as a guest, I would like the OPTION of alcohol, and would not want to attend a dry wedding (unless of course there was a good reason), and would be happy to pay for drinks, and expect that I would be doing so.

So in short, your friend sounds like a bit of an idiot. It'll be interesting to see if her opinion changes if/when she gets married and realises just how much wedding cost.
- CommentAuthorTori
If money was no object then it is something I would consider but as it is I am having a wedding on a shoe string! As for expecting it I think it is down right rude. I would tell her that if she does not feel able to pay for her own drinks then you will understandingly accept her declining the invite!
- CommentAuthorSusie
We are paying for the champange and wine for the tables, and people will get that to toast with, the rest, they have to pay for. Otherwise we would be saving for this wedding for another 5 years just to give all our guests as much booze as they wanted. No way, not happening!
- CommentAuthorMrsCross2be
I had never considered this as we are already providing a welcome drink, free flowing wine and a prosecco to toast. However one of my male colleagues (although I think he is trying to be funny) keeps going on to all our other colleagues and me about how I should have an open bar and I should not have something else like a magician or whatever to pay for it. I believe that he got married and then had a do in a marquee in a parents garden so they did have an open bar but they had paid in advance for all the alcohol I think which is not the same as a country hotel and me stumping up for them- no way would I do it- its my day not there's and I dont really care what people drink- id be more worried about too many drunk people if it was open bar.
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
Lol, I had a similar issue planning our wedding but it was hubby who wanted to have an open bar. I had a thread on it on here at the time. All I can say is thank goodness he came round to my way of thinking in the end. No open bar!

We paid for 2 welcome reception drinks with canapés, half a bottle of wine per person during the wedding breakfast, water on the tables plus a toasting flute of bubbly.

Stick to your guns and uninvite your friend if she was ever invited in the first place. What a cheek!

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorMrs T. 2 Be
To be honest I think guests do quite well out of us lol. especially day guests!!

Canapes
A welcome drink (Bucks fizz or Pimms)
2 glasses of wine throughout the Wedding Breakfast
A glass of Champers for the speeches
A 3 course meal
An evening Buffet
Cake

Some even have "free" accommodation !

Started Dating: 25th September 2005
Engaged: 26th September 2012
Getting Married: 25th May 2014
- CommentAuthorInDreamland
I'm sorry, I have to apologise in advance for this mini rant but it is bothering me.

How dare people or guests dictate to a bride and groom to spend money on anything whether it be an open bar or anything else like being able to bring a plus one of their choice etc etc. Weddings are expensive! If you're invited then be grateful and honoured that you've been asked to share in a couples happy special day. Do not think you have some right to dictate or name call because you think they should spend money on any type of food or drinks!

People who do that makes my blood boil. Many who do have obviously never planned and paid for a wedding.

Sorry ladies, bringing back some emotions from my planning xxx

Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!
- CommentAuthorJanetM46
were having a drink at the bar on arrival a glass of wine and a top up with the reception and a glass of sparkling wine for the toast, thats costing enough to be honest i'd have to get a second mortgage to provide a free bar!
- CommentAuthorSusie
Quite right INDL, some people squished their noses at us when we said it would just be the champange/wine we were providing, but hey ho, I am not getting into debt for that kind of thing! It is our day, our celebration, our way. xx
- CommentAuthorLauraT41
I have never been to an open bar wedding - people who have not been through the wedding process should not make opinions like this - do not let this get to you , I feel an open bar is the exception and not the norm :) x
- CommentAuthorNataleeM
lol!! REALLY?? Im doing the normal and everyone gets a welcome drink then half bottle wine per person on tables and then g;ass of champs for toast and then u can buy your own, i did actually look into buying my own bottle of wine and providing a bottle of win each but then u have to pay corkage and im thinking this is our wedding why should we provide everyone elses booze just so they can get drunk!! errrrrm NA lol xxx

Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
- CommentAuthorkittyh
I am having an open bar...my mum and dad are paying for that as they don't want anyone to have to pay for drinks...i think it might be something to do with where we are from because it is quite common - both my mum and h2bs mums fathers paid for an open bar on their wedding day (they did not come from a wealthy background)...that being said if they couldn't afford it, or we couldn't afford it then we wouldn't be having one and none of our guests would think anything of it, neither would I if i went to a wedding where there wasn't a free bar. Just assuming that there would be one is SO rude!! i can't believe someone would say that! Luckily we don't have anyone coming that will abuse the free bar...(well apart from me maybe!) xx
- CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Absolutely no way she's living in a dream world! No one should presume x

Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
- CommentAuthorVelcro
I'd tell her I'd be more than happy to take a donation to cover the cost of the free bar, cheeky mare!

Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
- CommentAuthorDanni13
Thats bizarre that she expects an open bar??!!!

We are having an open bar, but thats our personal choice. And everyone who we have mentioned it to have been really suprised that we are doing it! So I cant imagine the rest of your guests will feel that way!

Saying that, I've only ever been to one wedding without an open bar, but nobody expected there to be one- it's a nice suprise when it is free but damn cheeky to EXPECT it!!!

Ask her to cover it as a wedding gift to you....she'll soon back down!
- CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
I have to say I have been to a few weddings and only thing closet thing to open bar was a bar tab put behind bar but only for certain guests as in that group of friends or family .
I think she is very cheeky in saying that to you I would of replied well I can't wait for an open bar at your wedding lol

Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
Friends became soul mates :)
Engaged 6th July 2013
- CommentAuthorCharlieBe-Cool
We had considered putting a (small) tab behind the bar so everyone to could have one drink each on us, but thats because we only have a small guest list both in the day and evening and wouldnt be overly expensive. Would never have an open bar though. Thats asking for trouble - especially with my family!!!!

Met my prince charming - May 2002
Finally tying the knot - July 2015
Where there is love there is life - Muhatma Ghandi
- CommentAuthorWhovianbride
just let it wash off you, and when she gets married mention, are you not having a open bar? she will change her tune then, unless she got her claws in a sugar daddy

Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
- CommentAuthorDebbieC29
No way would we consider an open bar, the costs implications are just scary. Also with an open bar folk will drink more than they would normally. We have paid for a drinks package on top of the meal costs and that was expensive enough. Obviously she doesn't realise just how expensive weddings are. It is your day and it is would you want to have that matters.
- CommentAuthorLauraM9144
wow such cheek never fails to suprise me what some people expect!! we are having reception in a football club so its cheap enough and after all people dont expect to go to any other event say new years eve for example and get free drinks! we are being particularly tight due to very tight budget and are only offering a glass of wine per person during the meal we are thinking of toast but unsure! but whatever we decide we certainly wont expect guests to expect it!! if anything they should be buying us a drink lol

One BIG day will lead to lots of little happy days !!
- CommentAuthorSJJ
Dis-invite this person!! Oh my how rude!! Who expects people to have an open bar in this day and age? I have never been to a wedding, or know anyone who has. We couldn't even consider it for money and I don't think our venue even offered this, the only thing we considered were bar prices we wouldn't have chosen a venue where the bar prices were sky high but that'sit xx
- CommentAuthorBryonyEminson2Be
I know this girl quite well and know that the few weddings she has been to have been very small but on a large budget, and they have all had open bars but i have never been to one with an open bar (and i have been to quite a few) and wouldnt want one myself because as you ladies have pointed out it is expensive and people get drunk, and bridezilla over here does not want to be cleaning up other peoples sick like i do every time i go anywhere with people who are drink, i like a good drink but there is always drama and sick and someone who has to pay for it- people assume an open bar is just that but there is actually a limit to how much people can spend and after that point my and H2B pay for the rest at a later date which is ridiculous. when i said this to her she huffed (mostly because she is only coming to the evening so doesnt get the welcome drink, the half bottle of wine or the toast drink we are paying for) so i very sweetly stated that since she would not like to attend a wedding where drinks werent paid for since we cannot afford it, i will save some money on her invite as well :) she was not impressed! but oh well- she was the only person we had this problem with, when i mentioned her saying this to H2B he shot it down straight away so he doesnt even want one- im very glad you ladies know where i am coming from because when this argument was mentioned to certain people some agreed- but only those who have never been married before im glad to say xx

And my soul saw yours and said
"oh, I have been looking for you"
we met 07/09/2004. we loved 28/02/2012
we'll marry- 14.08.2021
- CommentAuthormym72
I've only ever been to one wedding where there was an open bar - and that was just for the evening reception. The venue was so out of the way though (there was accommodation available, but that was mainly for the all day guests) that most people drove there anyway so weren't drinking alcohol.

We had a small wedding (19 of us) but I still wouldn't have dreamt of having an open bar. I think you pay enough for the wedding as it is - you feed your guests and give them a drink(s) with their meal - you shouldn't have to provide anything else!!
- CommentAuthorxbeckix88
Some people actually have no idea.

We didnt have an open bar and even if money was no object we still wouldnt of had one! People would just taken advantage of it, got totally trashed and it would probably of ruined the day tbh.

We provided guests with bottles of wine on the tables with their meal, a jug of lemonade and a jug of water. If they didnt like it thats tough.

1 to 48 of 48