Hey,
I'd like some advice please.
For those who are getting married soon, what is your plan of action for the wedding morning? One of my bridesmaids has turned out to be really bitchy, loud and bolshy and in your face and she overshadows the other two bridesmaids and I can tell that they secretly cant stand her. I have regretted asking her to be a bridesmaid but have tried to ride it out and ignore the issues. Which i shouldnt have done and now its too late to sack her. She tried to take over the hen do and override the other two bridesmaids to arrange what she wanted basically some aspects of my hen do I hated and werent my cup of tea at all. She took the mick out of me rather than make me feel special. And when it was obvious I wasnt enjoying it, the other bridesmaid broke into tears to the other girls as she felt bad that I wasnt having a good time. So that really put a shadow over the hen. I can say stuff to bolshy bridesmaid but its like water off a ducks back and if i push it, it will quickly escalate into a full blown argument as she is confrontational - which I dont want at this late stage really as I have enough going on.
Anyway, now I am worrying about the wedding morning and that she will ruin it for me, being in my face and the other two bridesmaids just keep to themselves feeling negative like they did with the hen. Rather than be there for me and support me. My house is very small so I cant really get any breathing space. I'm getting married at 12pm,
Should I tell them to get them all to go to their own hairdressers, do makeup at home and come to my house for the last hour??? I do have hair and makeup booked for them at my house but I could cancel it. I just dont want a bad start to my big day like what I've just had with then hen or do I put bolshy bridesmaid in her place once and for all but risk bad feeling, upset and negativity so close to the wedding?? xxx

Why is it too late to sack her hun? She sounds totally vile! Personally I'd sack her as it's your day and so not worth the stress. You'll be more relaxed if she's not around and so will your other BM's xxx

Selina I like that, esp the amnesia part!!!

Dreamland I just feel i cant sack her now as I've come this far and I have her dress, jewellery, posy, shoes, hairslide, her pic is on my wedding website saying she's bridesmaid. It would cause a helluva lot of drama with everyone and she hasnt done anything terrible to be sacked she is just always on the borderline of rudeness/bitchyness and she turns super nice for a bit. She has had a tough couple of years and I've made allowances instead of dealing with this ages ago xxx

You can either make fancy plans to exclude her and make your other bms feel better, lie to her, sack her, or have it out with her. I think the fancy plans one adds more excitement, and would make me feel like I was getting my own back, but I am still 12 years old at heart lol! x

Yes I think I will go down the fancy plans route! and I will also get H2B to say to her not to be in my face and be supportive and I think I will also say a couple of things to her too, just for good measure!! Thanks girls, you made me see this a lot clearer xx

If you really feel you can't sack her then you need to have it out with her and threaten to sack her. You can always sell her dress etc.

It's your day and she should not cast a shadow over it!

BM's need to know their boundaries hun.

It's her problem if she gets sacked not yours. The embarrassment will be all hers!
xx

Hunni, tbh she sounds really nasty! I seriously would drop her as a BM as sounds like she is a 1st class b!tch who takes pleasure from upsetting you. I can't believe someone would do this to someone they're close to. My blood is boiling reading what she's done to you! If I was there at your hen I would've insisted she laid off you and took a hike and made sure you didn't do anything that made you uncomfortable or upset xx

I would seriously be having doubts about whether you want her there on your day at all if I was you hun! No one should be like she id to you to anyone, let alone on a hen do and when they are getting married! Have you got any other friends who are the same size as her that you could replace her with? She sounds like a really horrible person who doesn't care how she makes anyone else feel, and you shouldn't have to be worrying about her on you wedding day. You should be able to be relaxed and enjoy the day, not worry about what she might do or say. Get rid of her while you still can xxx

Good luck hun xxx

i would have a word with her, go over the hen do, and say how embarrassed you were and how she made u feel wearing that and what she done, and tell her a bridesmaid and friend should be supportive and want to see you happy and would never take the mickey out of their future husband, esp the way she did and without ur consent. say if she cant be happy for you and supportive then u dont want her there, cos its ur day and u want to enjoy it, not be ridiculed or made to feel awkward, you or ur bridesmaids shouldnt have to deal with that. would love to know if you have sorted it out or not x

What is with bm's thinking its all about them all the time I had 3 bm's one was my sister and yesterday we had a fight because my wedding is too close to her bday so lets just say between the 2 of us she's no longer my bm where as the other 2 are so proud to be bm's and would turn up in brown paper bags if I asked them too tell bolshy what she's doing to upset you if she is your friend she will understand thats what good friends do they take it on the chin and try to rectify it, you shouldn't have to worry that she's going to kick off hope you sort it out hun don't let her ruin your day x

So, I am having my hair and makeup trial on Monday and when I am there I have decided to cancel the makeup for those two bridesmaids and tell them to do makeup at home (they dont know this yet!). So I can get a breather on the morning of the wedding and I dont feel they deserve the extra expense (makeup is £30 per person). I have also text all three BMs asking them to tell me how they have decided to have their hair for the wedding. At the moment bolshy is saying she wants it up but to me its too short to go up (it is just below her chin) but I could be wrong. Her sister is a hairdresser and she said she is going to try and put it up and then text me a photo. So far I havent heard anything! If it wont go up, I will book her in a local salon for a blow dry - again this will save me money and also I will get even more of a breather from her on the wedding morning. If her hair will go up and she likes the hairstyle I may even suggest that her sister does her hair on the wedding morning so I can still have that space from her.
When their dress fittings are due I am going to just text them both to make their own separate appointments with the shop at a convenient time for them. I'm not going to all go together and pretend its all little house on the prairie :)
I am just so sick how both bridesmaids have been, if its not a problem with bolshy, its a problem with the other one being negative and resentful. I text them both really old photos of us the other night to try and remind them how deep and long our friendships go and how I have been there for them! I do think bolshy's heart is mostly in the right place but she just clashes with people and its her opinion and her way, no matter if it upsets me or other people. She never used to be like that tho. The other one is so ultra sensitive and passive aggressive I dont know where I stand with her most of the time now. I do feel good tho now i'm taking control of the wedding morning and i'm no way gonna let them spoil it like they did for the hen xxx

sounds like u have a good hold on the wedding day plans which is good, but def dont leave a discussion regretting not saying anything again, just think, would u rather have the bad air out of the way now and then ppl behave at ur wedding, or would u want it to build up until the big day and possibly lose it with one of them or just feel so stressed with their behaviour that u dont enjoy your day? dont be too scared to say how u feel, its ur day and ur way, if they dont like it they dont have to be there, the ball is in their court then, but def put ur foot down and do what makes u happy x