So about 6 months ago we went for Sunday lunch with OH's parents, one of his sisters and her husband. During the meal the suubject of the wedding came up and OH announced he wasn't going to do a speech. His family all said "you have to" but then mostly quietened down when I said "he doesn't have to". A few weeks later OH then said to me that he's having second thoughts and might do a speech.
Fast forward to Saturday and the same sister and her husband came to visit us. Apparently whilst I was out of the room she turned to my OH and said that she thinks I secretly want him to do a speech so he needs to do one and apparently even went on to say that she'll write it for him and email it over so all he has to do is read it out.
I am absolutely furious about this. From the start of our relationship we agreed that neither of us wanted to play games and that we'd rather be open and honest with each other so there's no secretly wanting him to do anything - I would just tell him and the same applies the other way round.
I actually don't mind if he does a speech or not and really resent that she's trying to make us have her vision of a wedding regardless of what we want and is doing so by saying its what I want really, despite what I say.
I especially don't want her writing his speech for him when she doesn't seem to understand that I'm not just playing a little mind game where a say one thing but expect OH to act in a different way.
OH has said that if he does do one then it will be one that he has written which makes me feel a little bit better.
I just feel so hurt that after 9 years she still doesn't understand that I am not like her and that what works for her relationship isn't what's best for me and her brother. As an example a few years ago a friend of ours died and after the funeral I needed some air so went for a little walk (OH and I have an understanding that if one of us needs to be alone to give them their space and allow them to come and get some cheer up cuddles when ready) and when I had cleared my head and was ready for some cuddles I went to find OH. I found him sitting on the bed with the same sister who was telling him that I was doing it to test him and he should be running after me and making a fuss because thats exactly what she would be doing and is how she would want her OH to react. I was so angry with her for saying that because although it may have been true for her, it wasn't for me - it not only goes against my personality to try and 'test' him but playing games like that also goes against the fundamental basis of our relationship.
OH and I discussed it all at length last night (which is how I came to know what his sister had said about the spech and I obviously told OH how I feel about it). I know she was only saying these things to him with a good heart but I really thought she knew me better than that by now which is why I'm so hurt.
OH was having a bit of a moment earlier (he conducted a phone interview which went badly because it was his first one and his boss had basically just called him and told him to ring the interviewee immediately) so as he was curled up on the sofa having some cheer up cuddles from me, he said "how can I give a speech at the wedding if I can't even do the interview right?" I think the interview went better than he thought since his boss found it funny when he gave his feedback on whether or not to hire this guy. I now don't want him to do a speech because I don't want to put him through that much stress. Think I might suggest we have an open floor so if any of our guests would like to make a speech instead then they can - imagine his Dad at the very least will get up.

What works for one, doesn't work for the other. You and your lovely H2B have a way of things, and know each other and what you need. At least you and your OH have had a discussion and are not in the dark about what has been said.

At the end of the day, going by what you have said, he has already written one, but might not be able to do it. I think the open floor is a perfect idea, because if he manages to overcome his nerves in that moment, he can give it, but know he doesn't have to. Thus removing the stress.

Besides, he could read it to you in private once you retire from the festivities, over a nice glass of something bubbly and relaxing on some comfy cushions!!!

Thanks ladies - starting to feel better now.
OH says he feels like he's going to have to say something to keep the families happy. He made up a little speech on the spot and I couldn't stop giggling but mostly because it was the kind of speech our families shouldn't be hearing!

My h2b doesn't like speaking in front of a lot of people so he said his speech will be very short something like thanks very much for coming here's to my wife time for the best man, I can actually see him saying something like that.

Try not to let her get to you, your h2b knows you better than that and knows you wouldn't push him into anything he wasn't comfortable doing xx

BethanyS - I can't believe the groom didn't practice the speech his mother wrote before he had to get up and say it.
When my Mum got remarried she wrote the speech for her father to give but didn't actually give it to him until he had to stand up and say it, and I just remember thinking what's the point? I just think it would have been better if he'd been allowed to just say something from the heart.