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  1.  
    • Myranny
      CommentAuthorMyranny
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We have just gotten engaged, and obviously I am quite excited. I've started having a look at various bits and pieces, venues etc. And every time I ask my other half for his opinion, he's not really interested.

    The first time I asked he said quite nicely that he didn't mind, and I should just plan to do whatever makes me happy, but I don't like the idea of putting something together that he doesn't like. It's unlikely, as we mostly like the same things, but still I feel like he should have some input.

    I keep asking his opinion on the venue because to be honest that's all I'd really like to get sorted this early on, but the more i ask (probably 3 different ones now) the more irritated he gets because he's told me to just do whatever I want.

    Should I just stop asking and book viewings at the places I'm interested in, or should I keep pushing for his input? I don't want to be one of those brides where it's all about me, but he seems like that's what he wants me to do.
  2.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
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    Hi and welcome.
    I can rest assured that you are not alone on this issue, I myself have had this issue with my OH since we started planning over 12 months ago. He is still like that now even though the wedding is getting closer. I have pretty much planned everything from venue viewings even to his suit. I just got fed up of asking him to make decisions about things, so I choose and then got him just confirm my choice was ok. I wouldn't worry about your OH not being interested too much im afraid thats just the way most men are. On a plus side I have learnt to deal with his lack of interest with the fact that I know I will be getting everything Im wanting. I think the only thing he has took charge of is the music.
    I would check online for venues, show him and then call for viewings, its what he wants by the sound of it, good luck and congratulations on your engagement x

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  3.  
    • RachaelB76
      CommentAuthorRachaelB76
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
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    i did all the research into venues for my wedding and then once i narrowed it down booked to go and view the venues with my OH. He was a lot more interested when we got to the venue and really became involved in choosing which one. I think he wasnt interested because it wasnt real until we went and i could search through things for ages. Men get bored very easy. So id say just book a few and take him to see x




  4.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I'd book viewings at the places you are interested in, but take him along with you-that way you will know if he really likes one or really doesn't like one.

    I think this is how a lot of blokes are earlier on.

    I think mine was a little more interested in venue's then me when we were looking and even found a cool little windmill we could get married in, but he was also more interested in the price.




  5.  
    • EmmaG
      CommentAuthorEmmaG
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yes a lot of guys aren't really interested or bothered as long as lady happy and im sure if something he didn't like he would say. I sat down and worked out what sort of wedding I wanted , and told him " so im thinking of this..blah blah blah " and he was like yes that sounds exactly what I want too, so then I went at searching for venues that may tick those boxes, told him what date we had viewing and we went.. my man is super laid back though as Am I , so I knew it would be like this.. a few months ago I did sit him down and say ok, so im organising all of this and planning and you haven't put any input in, are you going to or are you ok with it all and he said emma, you know me, if there was something I really wanted or didn't like then I would say but so far I love every idea and thing you have come up with :) so I have just carried on and told him when have idea or if I doing something.... I wouldn't worry, I would just book a viewing if that's what you want and tell him when it is.. good luck x

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  6.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 9th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    we get SO many posts like this, they tend to perk up when there is like, a few months to go lol. Most men just don't see it like us women and just can't get excited so far in advance. I got alot of the generic 'yeah whatever' yeah ok' 'that's fine' responses too. Then we get a few months to go and he decides he now doesn't like the table name decs. Told him it was tough poop, I had consulted and double consulted with him and then even checked again just before I commited to buying them and all i got was 'yeah' so i think he realised a little bit too late that he hadn't been involved enough because I refused to then change them hahahahaha. Don't take that for disinterest though :)

    I'm sure he would soon change his mind if you say, oh by the way, i have put a deposit down on a castle in Edinburgh (or anywhere substantially far away from you lol) You do really need to be getting the big things booked now, venue/photographer especially I would say as things get booked up so far in advance these days! I reserved my date with the resistrar and had longer to go than you and there were only TWO slots left for the day we wanted and that was with almost 2 years to go, so I think he may need a bit of a firm telling of 'look, it's like this, and it needs to be done' As much as he is being 'a bit of a man' about it, the big things he really does have to pull his finger out and have some input in. Like Emma says, just book them and tell him when to turn up

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  7.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Velcro is right, so many post this. I was probably one of them as well a couple of years ago. Every time I asked hubby anything regarding the wedding he would say 'whatever', then if I did something where I did not ask him, he moaned about it. I could not win.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  8.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I think most of us have had this moan on here at some point, I'm forever moaning about oh. For example he still hasn't done his guest list that I asked him to start thinking about in August and our invites are going out this month!

    I'm afraid it seems to be a man thing! X
  9.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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      edited
     
    Hello and welcome.. congratulations on your engagement! I think if he has said he wants you just to sort everything out and have everything how you want then you should just go with it, it doesn't sound like much is going to change his mind. It would be nice if he could at least view the venues with you, just so he actually knows where is getting married. I'm sure if he wants to offer his opinion on anything at any stage he will :) maybe just double check with him that he likes certain things before book them/arrange them. You will probably get a yes regardless but at least then you know you'd have his blessing.

    I do disagree with the "it's a man thing" though.. my OH is heavily involved in the planning of our day and offers his opinion on everything! x

    Members signature icon
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    18th June 2016
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  10.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I mean its a man thing cos I've never ever heard of a woman go oh I'm not bothered do as you want I'm not interested in planning this wedding, most men seem to like to let us ladies plan our day how we want it and as long as we are happy they don't feel there is any real need to offer much help even when asked for it, just being on this forum alone and speaking to the men at work who have got or are getting married recently has taught me that!
    Just like many men say shoe collections are a woman thing, there's bound to always be exceptions!
  11.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    My OH's shoe collection is bigger than mine lol! x

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    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  12.  
    • Sarah D
      CommentAuthorSarah D
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    I must be really lucky my H2B is so interested in all the planning we have discussed everything and he's had just as much input on decisions as I have, maybe just not real to them yet and maybe of the opinion that its easier to leave it to you but sure they will come round. x

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    Became Mrs Duthie 7th October 2016


  13.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Its quite funny cos the registrar today even joked about how men take a back seat and don't seem that bothered! I told her about this conversation and she said it doesn't surprise her in the slightest
  14.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    My hubby was like that on many things, I just needed to find things he actually had an opinion on. Turns out he had ideas and opinions on the venue when I managed to get him to view a few, then unleashed groomzilla who took over the cake design (I had to remind him we had a budget) and he and my dad vetoed my car choice. He also chose the table centers design. Then there was the honeymoon lol. He was also very serious choosing the wedding breakfast, which was why I agreed with his choices then asked the venue to do something special just for me and my dad because I preferred something else.

    It may be that he thinks you both have plenty of time so may not be as excited yet, many men are like that.

    Most things my hubby was like just choose what I want but there were the few things he suddenly perked up. Maybe you just need to work out what pushes his buttons wedding wise.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  15.  
    • Mrs M Wade
      CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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      edited
     
    My h2b was like this when we first got engaged. Wasn't interested in anything to do with the wedding. He just kept saying you sort everything I'll just turn up on the day. But now we've got 17months to go he's getting in to the planning now and suggesting things. We booked our wedding 2.5 years in advance so he kept saying what is the rush. I'm excited so wanted to start booking things and spread the cost

    Members signature icon
    Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016


  16.  
    • RebeccaH304
      CommentAuthorRebeccaH304
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    My OH sounds like yours ID- most things he just says that I should do whatever I want but there are a couple of things he has really strong opinions on! I think it is a man thing (depending on the man!) to be a bit disinterested.




  17.  
    • lovelylainee
      CommentAuthorlovelylainee
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
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    Unfortunately for us women men usually just want to have a stag do and get drunk, then turn up on the day and when the i do's are out the way get drunk!

    Like others have said the best thing you can do is the research. Start with your budget before anything else so you know what you can afford and go from there. When you've got that sorted book a couple of venues for viewings ... he can't not give his opinions then! xx

    Members signature icon
    I married the love of my life 23/06/2012
    Our little boys are so cute!

  18.  
    • Sprucey
      CommentAuthorSprucey
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 10th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yup deffo not an unusual thing! My oh didn't even know what time the ceremony was when we went to give notice this afternoon! He was like erm.. In the afternoon? Lol luckily the registrar thought it was funny! I didn't! But today he did actually give an opinion on something when we went to exchange his wedding ring tried on a few and actually chose something without my input! Lol he seems to be more interested now I've put together a list of what we need to tick off the list every month, he loves a list and being able to tick stuff off when it's done!

    Members signature icon
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  19.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    I can't really relate to the "men aren't really interested" side of weddings, as my husband organised more than I did. I think though when we were both at your point (19 months before the big day), neither of us were really actively doing anything.
  20.  
    • JennK
      CommentAuthorJennK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    I think often men don't realize that certain things need to be decided in advance, and quite often us ladies only find this out when we start trying to plan the wedding anyway!

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    Our perfect day - 08.08.15 <3


  21.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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      edited
     
    My OH didn't realise how early things needed booking but I run everything past him before booking and he is always enthusiastic about it. I have planned and booked everything but just taken into account what he wants too, I think that's the way it usually works. To be honest my OH has only started seeming more interested in the last month or so, so maybe yours will be the same x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  22.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    I wish my hubby had more input, I arranged it all, ran it ladt him and he would agree, even with the venue he said he didn't feel he wanted to look elsewhere, I hope that was because he loved it as much as I did. He got more interested in the suits, i said I would leave that up to him, but in the end we popped into the place to browse and ended up putting a deposit on them all.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  23.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Emma, if it were left to mine he'd be doing things the week before. Even if he went on dttb he would leave it to the last week.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  24.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    I got told off the other night for looking online at wedding stuff and not involving OH in it lol. He came and sat next to me then and we looked together x

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  25.  
    • MrsEmmaP
      CommentAuthorMrsEmmaP
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    Oh I'm not holding out any hope of him getting his suit until about a month before the wedding lol! But at least he is interested in things I am doing and giving some input lol x

    Members signature icon
    Got together on 14th March 2010
    Got engaged on 25th December 2013
    Became Mrs P on 14th May 2016 - best day ever!
  26.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
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    That's lovely Flossie. It's both your days at the end of it, not just yours.

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    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  27.  
    • Myranny
      CommentAuthorMyranny
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 11th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Thanks ladies :) I'm glad I'm not the only one. I showed him somewhere ridiculous I knew he'd hate in the end and he objected so much he started to actually give *some* feedback. I think you may be right, and nearer the time he'll be more interested.

    Velcro, thanks for the warning. Will find out about our local registrar.

    Although, I wish mine was like yours Flossie! :) We're not onto suits and cakes yet, so maybe he'll be more interested in that as it's slightly more... fun? x
  28.  
    • TashaM95
      CommentAuthorTashaM95
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 13th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It' side finitely a man thing. I suspect Friends is partly to blame, when I asked mine what he was planning to do the response was "show up on time and try to say the right name"
    Since then he has agreed to book venues, it's been about a month and it still isn't done so one more job for me!
  29.  
    • LuckyMan
      CommentAuthorLuckyMan
      Posted: Feb 13th 2015
     
    Not looking to represent the male population as a whole but I think we do tend to 'withdraw' from some of these things. I think there is a finality thing which scares so we bury our heads but also there is a huge pressure (even just if it is self perceived) on making the right decision. You only have to watch Don't Tell the Bride to see how wrong we could possibly make it. I know it sounds like a cheesy cop out but I want my W2B to have the day of here dreams (within budget :) ) so I would rather her make the choices and get what she wants rather than me choose something and her run with my ideas which i know she would but may not want.
  30.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 17th 2015
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    It's not just our weddings though LuckyMan, there are many women, I am sure, that just want to have their perfect days and happily let their h2bs sit back and do nothing so they can take charge, but alot more of us than you think, really just want you to get involved and as boring as it is, pour over colourschemes for a while, we put up with your football lmao ^^

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    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  31.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 17th 2015
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    My main gripe with my fiancé earlier in the planning was that he always tried to make out like he wasn't bothered to other people. He was involved with the planning and went to the wedding fairs with me. But if someone asked ''How is the wedding planning going?'' his response was always ''Don't know, ask her'' or ''she's sorting it''




  32.  
    • MrsThomson2B
      CommentAuthorMrsThomson2B
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 20th 2015
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Mine was a bit like this and I made him find me 2 venues he liked so that I knew what he liked too. We ended up booking one of his choices. I also put him in charge of the photography and band which meant I promised not to book either without his agreement as they were two things I knew he would have feelings about. It also meant we had so etching to discuss. Find the few things that he will have and interest in. For my man it was the photography as he has a mild hobby in it so I would look at pictures and think I really like these and then he would start talking about exposure etc and how they weren't right. The band he plays guitar so again I knew he would be quite picky but we found a band who played music he liked to his standard. It means for the most part I get what I want but also when I really want an opinion I can stamp my feet and demand it because I'm not forcing him to pay attention the rest of the time and this seems to be working for us. Maybe try so etching like that. Ask him to take control of two or three things or to find you two or three suppliers for each aspect so two photographer two florists two cars two band etc so he only has to find a few he likes and if they are only half hearted at least you at forcing him to get involved he may find something that actually he really wants to get an opinion about xx
  33.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
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    My oh is like this 2. Only think he seems to have had a opinion on is that he did not want a sweetie cart.

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    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
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  34.  
    • KayleighS46
      CommentAuthorKayleighS46
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Mine was also rthe same - untill we actually went and looked at Venues. He became much more involved when it was real infront of him then on a computer screen! Do the research, booking appointments and take him along - he might surprise you! xx

    Met 2013
    Propsed 2014
    Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
    always & forever xxx
  35.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
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    My oh did hello decided on venue, had narrowed it down to 2 , and he came with me to have a 2nd look and told me he preferred lav house. So that's what we are having.

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    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  36.  
    • thefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
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    My oh is now starting to show more interest now, he even suggested things to put in the packs I'm making for my 2 page boys
  37.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
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    This is making me so grateful my OH is really involved and has an opinion on everything. He will look for ideas as much as me..

    Sorry all!!

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  38.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Feb 21st 2015
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    My husband was really involved, we were pretty much equal partners. He actually named the venue he wanted because he knew it would accommodate his disabled sister. I would agree, book viewings, and then ask your H2B to go with you. Maybe suggest lunch of a coffee as part of the visit as an incentive.

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    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  39.  
    • Myranny
      CommentAuthorMyranny
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Feb 22nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We've booked a couple of viewings now, and he put his foot down at the last one and said absolutely not so apparently he does care. :) He's also started looking at suits and cakes after we went to a wedding fair yesterday, he's like a different person! Although he had very different ideas to me it seems, including a white suit.... we'll see where this goes!! x
  40.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Feb 22nd 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    My H2B is being a pain in the a**e at the moment! I gave him a list of jobs to do and he crossed off all the ones he didn't want to do, he won't come to church next Sunday to hear our banns being called because he might have a hangover after his stag do and he's just asked me for the 999th time whereabouts in Egypt we're going for our honeymoon! He's shown a little bit of interest throughout the whole planning process but we now only have 7 weekends left to get everything done and he's still not worried. I on the other hand, am tearing my hair out and my stress levels are through the roof!

    Seems to be a man thing :o/
 
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