We announced our date not two days ago and already I have had three people asking me/ telling me I should have my mum there or at least invite her. It has also been suggested that I should call her because she'll never forgive me if I don't invite her and it will be the last chance etc. It has even been suggested that I have her as my witness at our civil ceremony here. Yes, because I want HER name on MY wedding certificate? Erm NO?!?!?
Since when does she have to forgive me for anything? She's the one that should be asking for forgiveness, and there's no way in hell I'm letting that concubine of Satan anywhere near our wedding day. I don't need the stress, and I don't want her there and neither does my h2b. As far as we're concerned, she's not worth thinking about. We shouldn't have to explain why she's not invited or part of our life, her actions speak far louder than anything we could say!
Sorry for the rant, it's just really annoying me that people seem to think that she has some automatic rights to attend, and that I should be making the effort to include her. Maybe she should have thought about that when she wasn't making the effort to be a decent parent or even a decent human being. BAH I AM ANGRY!!!
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorkimmy
Oh dear big hugs hun!!!
CommentAuthorcharlottelee
not sure what to say to that but does it feel better being off your chest. I know the feeling. My mum will be at our wedding but not my choice. got in a fight with my big sister last week telling me i should give my mum a break and move on. Let me think about that one NO.
Some people just really dont understand. Its your business not theirs tell them all to sod off
Going to become Mrs Stockman
Got engaged on 26th April 2011
Getting married 19th May 2012
CommentAuthorkatie1991
Aww bless ya hun I feel for u big hugs xx
CommentAuthormaryannt
rant away I am in a similar situation hun just with my dads wife who brought me up for 18 years then just decided to kick me out and didnt want anymore to do with me!!!! apparently i can't invite my dada and not her ermmm i think you will find I can Its your day and invite who you want there not who people think should be there!!!!!! xxxx
I totally know how you feel... almost exactly the same here... except it's my dad people badger me to invite. It was even suggested he walk me down the aisle... Erm? No! I just keep saying no, that I am happy with the guests I currently have and I don't need him now, then or ever! I know it's really hard but try not to let it get to you... it is YOUR day , people don't have the right to ruin that. Big hugs x
Here comes the bride......
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
Just drives me up the wall. I am speaking to one of my mum's old friends on fb, I've known her and her family since I was about 9 but didn't think she was still in contact with my mum... but no apparently my mum will be devastated if she misses her little girl's wedding, and I need someone to give me away?
I'd rather walk down the aisle naked. She doesn't own me. If anyone is giving me away, it will be my nana. If not I'm MORE THAN CAPABLE of walking myself down the aisle and giving myself away.
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthortexmAC
You're quite right Ataraxia! It's your day and you just do as you please. I'm not inviting the woman who I prefer to refer as my birth defect! Anyone that cares about you will just want your day to be perfect for you, never mind what anyone else has to say x
CommentAuthorMrsMcleish2B
If you feel that strongly about it stick to your guns hun............. Just think are you going to regret NOT having her there OR will you regret it more if you DO have her there. Its your wedding and there is no written rule that you have to invite anyone. Hopefully people will realise that its your decision and you've made it xxxxx
Wedding Day - 16th June 2012
CommentAuthorAtaraxia
I think we'll definitely regret it more if she does come. I won't be able to relax and enjoy the day for worrying about what she'll do or say after she's had a drink... my entire family will be the same. As soon as my mother has a drink, it turns into ALL ABOUT SHARON. Even if I do invite her, she'll probably end up causing a scene because I didn't do it faster, or because I didn't let her help me find my dress or something ridiculous! And if my sister comes or both of them, they usually take her side and join in... so I don't think it's worth it. She's not been any significant part of my life for about 4 years now, and we haven't spoken for nearly 2 years and I don't feel as though anything of value has been lost. In fact, we're happier without the constant drama!
She's been ruining family occasions for years now. She punched me at my 17th birthday, after I suggested she go home when she was humiliating me in front of all the guests, then she left and got her husband to come around and have a HUGE shouting fit at me. She's ruined new years celebrations, other people's birthdays, holidays... I could go on. I don't need that kind of thing looming over me on the day :/
Got married 27th June and blessed on July 5th 2012
Finally Mrs M :3
Love, love... Here we are.
CommentAuthorMrsMcleish2B
Definetly dont invite her she sounds like a nightmare hun! No offence because I no she is still your mother. Your day is too important to risk her coming and not being able to behave herself xxxx
Wedding Day - 16th June 2012
CommentAuthorkrisw86
i'm not inviting my mother either. she a self-centred bitch that uses me as an emotional punchbag and cant stand not being the centre of attention. she even had a 'panic attack' at the party after my daughter's christening cos there were too many people there. it was in her back garden and she suggested it! amazingly tho, she went to the local fair after me and the other guests left. strange that, i thought the fairgrounds u get are always packed. hmmm or maybe im wrong lol. dont let someone bully u into inviting someone u cant stand. i know i wouldnt either x
CommentAuthorMrsC2B
Other can't understand your reasons as they haven't experienced what you have. They think they're helping, but they're not. You've got nine months to go before your Big Day. Plenty can happen before then, but make sure you and your H2B are the ones who are at the centre of the celebrations, which should be exactly as you want them to be. Big hugs xx
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
Some people come from nice, loving, caring families and some of us don't. Those who do just cannot understand why those that don't would not like (certain) family members anywhere near them at any time. I explained (some of) the cr4p that my mother did and MIL2b said, 'well that was a while ago, maybe she's changed' I just told her if any member of my family that I have not invited is at my wedding I won't be! I'm hoping that's clear enough. As for other people's opinions, I'm getting very good with smiling and nodding and agreeing with them, and then doing what I was going to anyway.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorKaz
New mantra people "MY WEDDING, MY WAY!" xx
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorKat
People never understand a situation fully unless they have been through it. Make the decision that is right for you and h2b. I have come to the conclusion myself that there is a difference between people you are related to and family. Just because you share blood does not make you family and does not give you an automatic invite to functions and a get out of jail free card to act however is most inappropriate.
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
I feel for you hunni. My mum is stirring at the moment. We have two years to go but i really dont see it getting any better by then. I have to decide whether she is there or not and i know shell make my dad not be there or him feel bad if he is. Or shell just pull the plug on everything my parents have offered us so far!!! Iv also got the idea of an alcohol free wedding but my h2b wont allow it even though he shouldnt really be drinking anyway! I dont know your reasons for not wanting your mum there but i fully understand how you feel. My brother had to tell my mum that my sil was dreading her own wedding because of her x x x
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Awww Atar. You have my absolute sympathy for this situation. I have a pretty rubbish relationship with my mum and she's such a manipulative so so that to the outside world I always end up looking like the bad one. One of the reasons we decided to get married abroad was because I thought there would be no chance of her coming, if I'm really honest. However, she had been saving a bit of her mother's inheritance for our wedding (she never told me that) so instead of giving it to us, she decided that it would be far nicer for her to be at our wedding instead! Even one of my best friends can't understand why I don't really want her there. Everyone's like, well it's just one day and she *is* your mum and can't you just let her have this day? What about MY day and more importantly what about OUR day?! There are only 2 people in this world that really know what she's like - one is my H2B and the other is my old therapist (who will be our celebrant for our London blesing). It just annoys me that there is this this expectation from other people about how realationships *should* be - they rarely are LOL!
Stick to your guns babe. Stuff the rest of them and you don't have to explain or justify anything to anyone, except yourself. Hx
Vegas baby!
Moderator
CommentAuthorjanetx71
well i think at the end of the day if you wouldnt have her round for sunday dinner or invite her for a night out then why in hell would you have her to the biggest most important day of your life i think your right and other people should butt out its not their call xxx
New mantra people "MY WEDDING, MY WAY!" xx
