Cutting a long story short and without going into too much details (its not pretty!) I dont get on with my sister, havent spoken to her now in nearly year and half, shes got 2 adorable girls who we want as flower girls - shes stopped us from seeing them for the past 18 months for no reason and lives a 3hr drive away. Her ex has finally got access to them and thankfully he's let us see them. She knew I had got engaged and at first there wasnt an issue with her being invited - although this has been going for the past 5/6 years - she said then the girls would be coming etc and things were as ok as they couldve been.
Recent events - as in being able to see the girls - they keep asking about their flower dresses and about how excited they are to throw petals etc etc :D then the youngest one shocked me by saying - mummy said she isnt coming but she wont stop us going - this has hurt me so much and now I'm simply uninviting her - why shall i have someone like that at our day?!
My question is.... do you think i should try and talk to her? - every time i've tried to contact her in the past 18 months or so shes never replied and in fact changed her mobile number! Shall i just leave it and forget about her etc etc. I've kept myself to myself and not really got involved in the issues up untill now - I've always tried to give it the benefit of the doubt but quite truthfully she is a horrible, nasty and spiteful person and this has been the final straw... thoughts? lol! xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorFlossie
I don't think you should bother. You've said you have tried loads of time already with no success, and she's certainly not made any effort by ignoring you and changing her mobile number without telling you. I don't think it's up to you to offer an olive branch at all.. it should be her xx
Happily married
18th June 2016
xx
CommentAuthorMrs M Wade
I agree with Flossie. Don't let it spoil your planning. Let her do the running and come to you :-) x
Became Mrs Wade 06/08/2016
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I'm thinking don't bother with her, but also thinking maybe you should talk with her about it, whether in a letter or face to face and simply ask her for sure if she is or is not coming. I wouldn't want you to go on what she has said out of spite to the children, not include her in the numbers and then she turns up. Yes I know that is wrong, but if she has been invited and is maybe saying on out of spite, maybe you need to know from her. If that made sense!
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorFlossie
Even then I don't think you need to ask the question until much nearer the time.. I would avoid the drama at the moment and just ask her if she intends to come or not whenever you send the invites out/get RSVPs back x
Thanks Girlies i was just worried it would just seem like I was being a Bridezilla, shes not bothered with my mum properly for years and just uses the girls as weapons towards her... :( I'm going to try and contact her - if her number hasnt changed again - and see if i get any sort od response. xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorAH86
Personally I would wait until you are sending your invites maybe and see how the issue is then. You could try to talk to her then and see if the dust has settled a little although it doesn't sound hopeful. At that point you could be a bit more cut throat and ask her outright if she's coming or not. If she says maybe or we will see just say look, I need to know whether I am wasting money and a seat for someone who wants to be at our wedding quite frankly and if she doesn't want to come you would rather she just be honest. I hope it all works out for you xx
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorAprilS61
Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
I agree with ah, if you have not sent official invites yet then just leave it for now. You never know what will happen in that time.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorKayleighS46
Thanks guys, I shall leave it for the time being then lol! The invites arent being sent for about a year yet so i know things can change - i just dont think it will happen lol. why change the habit of a life time lol but thanks again for all your feedback xx
Met 2013
Propsed 2014
Will Be Mrs Brookes 2016
always & forever xxx
CommentAuthorclairenina
edited
I wouldn't bother going by what you said. Given the fact each time you called offering an olive branch, and she hasn't taken this opportunity, then she doesn't deserve an invite in my opinion.
I didn't invite my Dad. We haven't fallen out, but he never makes an effort with me whatsoever. I have always been the one to make the effort, also at Christmas and birthdays etc, and about 4 years ago, I just said I'm not doing it anymore (after he stood me up on my birthday and went to the pub opposite the restaurant I was in instead). My door is always open though, but my effort has stopped.
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
im the eternal try to fix it type , i would write a letter to her saying that you know you have had your differences but that you were looking forward to her being at the wedding to make a new start between you . then ask if there is a reason she isn't coming ( you never know what might be going on with her )and anything you can do to help ?
i know you have tried before but a phone gives rise to instant reaction and things said without thought where as a letter is something she will read ..put down ...and read again. if she fails to respond then she has made the choice but you know you have done everything you can.
