Wedding Forum - Not even excited anymore...

We have been trying to get married for 3 yrs now but have had to cancel due to finances. BUT we now have a date and almost everything is paid for but I've lost all excitement!

His family have now said they can't come because they don't want to travel (hour away by train or car). His mum hasn't responded to say if she is coming or not and we are left in limbo because if his mum goes he can't invite his dad because his mum won't go if his dad goes. Other members of his family say they can't get time off work but they had more than 4 months notice so plenty of time to book the day off. We were going to get married abroad with just the 2 of us and the kids but people moaned that they couldn't come and wanted to see us get married so we decided to keep the wedding in the UK and now they still say they can't come. I feel completely deflated! We could have now been in a lovely country enjoying some sun and getting married but instead we have paid for a wedding that nobody wants to come to. So far the only guests we have are those in the wedding party and 2 other people. His family say they can't come because it's too far yet he has a friend who moved to Dubai 2-3 yrs ago who contacted us asking if he was invited and that he is coming and won't miss it, and another friend who lives 2 hours away from the venue has also said he is coming, yet we can't get his family to come.

The venue we chose is thousands cheaper than venues in our local town which is why we chose it and it being only a hour away isn't really that far (60 miles or so). There is a hotel on the doorstep of the train station and the reception venue is less than 200 yards away and there is a bus on the doorstep that takes you right outside the church, so no driving is needed really and everything is right there including hair salons, nails, clothing stores, pubs, clubs etc.

My OH doesn't seem bothered by it but I know when the day comes and he doesn't have any family there he will be upset. He got upset that neither his mum or dad came to our engagement party. He deserves to be happy on his wedding day not crying over the fact his family can't think about someone other than themselves for just 1 day.

PLUS I now have problems with my family. My mum asked me to find her outfit for her because she's not fashion minded. So I searched months for her outfit and found a really nice one that suits her perfectly, just needs a few alterations which I would also pay for, as well as shoes, bag, fascinator etc... My mum seemed to like it but yesterday my sister contacted me and told me that my mum doesn't like the outfit and won't be wearing it. So I now have an outfit here that s useless to me and a complete waste of money. I told my sister that I am over caring about it now, my mum can find her own outfit, but my sister knowing our mums fashion sense and knowing me decided to go and buy my mum a new outfit.

There is so much more going on that would take forever to put down on here and it's all been grinding at me for months now to the point where I'm no longer excited about getting married. The way some of them talk about the wedding is as if they think it's a joke. Even the best man wants to come in any old suit rather than dress the part with the groom and the other grooms men so we are on the verge of dropping him because we already feel like people think it's a joke so e don't want our best man standing there looking miss matched to make it look even more like the joke people think it is. I understand that not everyone will get excited as us about it and we haven't been pushing the wedding on anybody but for people to think it's gonna be some really cheap affair that shouldn't be taken seriously has ground me down to the point where even I am starting to think it's a cheap crappy wedding.

I don't feel confident about my dress anymore (which cost me £1200 so not cheap at all), the room decorations (we have to decorate 2 rooms) I feel they won't be pretty enough and I just generally think it's gonna be a terrible day.... I want to be excited but they have pulled me down too far now. .. I started making my wedding shoes about 2 months ago with Swarovski crystals and costing me over £400 for the pair, but they are unfinished and I look at them and just think "what's the point"

I really wish now that we had spent the money on getting married abroad on our own, just the 2 of us.but pretty much everything is paid for now, we just have the church to pay for on the 11th of June. I should be feeling excited that we're finally getting married after several years of failing and losing thousands on cancelled weddings but instead I feel like crying. I don't want to do anything else toward the wedding. I seem to have just given up on it.

Anyway, this has gotten to be a huge post so I'll leave it here. I just needed to let it out somewhere because nobody else seems to want to listen or doesn't understand... Just needed to rant a little to see if it will help...

We were like this a few weeks ago - family causing stress, things going wrong. You name it, we had it! Now things have settled down though, our excitement is back and starting to build which is such a relief for both of us :) maybe take a couple of weeks not doing wedding stuff, focus on your OH and kids and have time out. Worked for us! Sorry you are in this situation, it sucks :(

You're not going to like my comment.. but you WILL have an amazing day regardless of who is or who isn't there. If you and your OH are there and get married then that's the main thing. It might not be the wedding you really wanted but on the day all your worries and stresses will just go away and the most important thing will be the fact you're marrying your OH - finally.

This should be a happy time, so stuff everyone else - just focus on you and OH and make sure you enjoy this time and everything about your special day xx

i hope that you get the day of your dreams that everyone deserves. can you have a word with immediate family who you most care about coming like parents and try and forget about the rest of them, theyre obviously not worth it xx

You definitely WILL have an amazing day and you probably won't pay it any attention on the day but at the same time, you want to celebrate with your nearest/dearest on one of the most special and important days of your life. At the end of the day, you can't force people to come so it's just making the day about you both, your children and your guests :)

Yup I'm feeling the same at the moment! Our wedding is already small, 40 guests. The OH's family we're never going to be coming anyway as he no longer talks to them, so the guests were made up of a few friends and my family. Now I'm going to be a bridesmaid and her family down so that'll be 35, 11 of which are children. It feels like it's going to be so silly that it's just us a few people and mostly children. By like 7pm the older members of my family would've shuffled off to get to bed as it'll be getting late, the kids will getting tired and ill feel like I'm dancing in front of like 3 people at our first dance! I know it's the getting married that's important but I could've done that in a registry office for a lot less money! Just thing like paying out for the suits and my dress etc all seem over the top for how small the wedding is :/

I'm really pleased your feeling better about things. Hold your head high and enjoy planning your big day xx

Its great that you are feeling more positive. at the end of the day the more important thing is that you are marrying the man you love and the marriage part rather than the wedding.

hope it starts to go a bit better and you get more from the people around you x