So I merrily posted two days ago that we'd finally agreed on the photographer and it was the one I wanted, who takes awesome photos and is doing the entire day with photobook and CD for £750....
Today, my H2B comes home from work with the booking form ready to fill out and send back.
Then, after sitting down and going over the budget again (where I have saved over £500 by dropping more people off the guestlist)... he says "this photography is expensive, my mate at work does it and would do it really cheap"....!!!!!!!!!!!!
We had this entire discussion and had agreed TWO DAYS AGO to this photographer!!!! I've booked him!!! (Yes, we've not returned the forms and paid the deposit, but I've told him and reserved the date!!). He is the photographer I want!!! I'm going to look like a right idiot now retracting it!! Plus I don't want to!
Also, I've found out that the weekend I've pencilled in my hen weekend is now the weekend of a big launch at work, and time off is embargoed for all managers, so I now have to reschedule the whole thing! And a lot more people will be unable to make it, as the weekend I scheduled in was the last weekend my company remained closed on a Sunday for the Summer, so any other weekend now will mean more of my colleagues having to work, so less able to come!!
Feel like crying, but he thinks I'm being unreasonable getting upset about it!!!
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorbumblebumble
You're not being unreasonable at all - if he agreed to it then he was on board! Retracting it now is unreasonable - so it's him whos being unreasonable! Don't let it get you down - speak to him and explain that you have already got in your head that you are having that photographer as HE agreed to have him then hopefully he will see how much it means to you.
As for your hen if you cant get it off work then unfortunately you don't have much choice. Is your company a huge one where there is no way at all they could re-schedule the launch??
Keep your chin up hun xxxxx
x Keeley x
CommentAuthorSonya
I don't think you're being unreasonable but is his friend a professional photography? Or even if not does he have any examples of weddings he's done before? Just thinking you could humour h2b by looking at this guy's work and if you don't like it at least you can say you were willing to look but don't like his style. And maybe you would like what you see, in which case, bonus, you have some spare cash :)
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorRosyF77
Your not being unresonable, but just try and talk to him. Maybe you cold both find a compromise like profesional photographer for the ceromony and then h2b's freind for after that xx
CommentAuthorsarah
:( agree with what the others have said. Just wanted to add is this friend attending the wedding? If so he should enjoy it as a guest and not work it.
I did say that to him, that he agreed to it, and he was the photographer I wanted and now have my heart set on. I'm still being unreasonable. Fluttercat, I have already looked through the mate's work. I told H2B originally that his stuff was ok, but both me AND him agreed the photographer we've booked was soo much better and that it was worth the extra as the photography is the one thing you get to look back on. I've explained this again and again, and I thought he finally agreed with me. I waited a week after he said about booking this photographer, and double and triple checked with him to make sure he was happy before finally booking, and now, two days later, he changes his mind!!!
Yeah, I work for a massive company, no way things can change. I know I don't have much choice and have to suck it up, but it's just a blow on a day I didn't need it. :(
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorTanya83
The professional is doing us a cheap rate already to cover the whole day, he normally charges well over £1000 just for the shorter day, let alone all the prep right up to first dance. (He did a friend's wedding and back when he did that, he was starting out so she referred us and we became friends on FB etc so that I could keep him 'in mind')
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorSonya
Well in that case no, not being unreasonable at all, especially after triple checking!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorTanya83
He's still shouting at me now about it.
Honestly, we are going so budget on EVERYTHING!!! Discounted this, handmade that!!!
I cannot stand that he wants this to be 'mates rates' too!!
My bloody engagement ring was a sale piece!!! Everything is f**king sale and I don't want to sound like a spoilt brat, but this is my one WEDDING!!!!
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorPoppy x
To be honest, you've already saved £500 on top of everything else, and triple-checked with HIM as to your choice. I don't think it's fair to then go and renege just to save a few pounds when you won't be happy with the end result. You need to be able to have no regrets when you look back upon your day.
What is the difference in price? What could you live with? What have you and he had to compromise on? Weigh up the pros and cons and see how you feel. I'm sure the photographer would understand if the worst still came to the worst xx
CommentAuthorElinor Claire
£750 is actually really good. Has he checked how much the other guy would do it for?
30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.
CommentAuthorMRS B to Be
I dont think you are being unreasonable at the end of the day the photographer is one of the most important things and having already saved £500 and working out a deal with the photographer £750 is an amazing price !
CommentAuthorTori
Drag him into town and stop at one of those stands advertising photography. When we were quoted £1500 for three hours work and the pics didn't look that great, h2b soon changes his tune x
CommentAuthorTanya83
So the argument has carried on.... I've said all of the above to him, and he still thinks I'm in the wrong. He says I don't appreciate all he's doing for the wedding (ie working overtime) and just expect too much...
It's escalated into a HUGE argument about anything and everything, ending with me throwing my engagement ring at him, asking why we are even bothering to get married as he clearly doesn't even like the person I am, he's now gone out to his friend's house.... I didn't eat dinner, it's still sat on the table cold and my head is pounding and feels like it's gonna burst.
:'(
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorTanya83
By the way, I said I don't even care about the photographer now, whatever, and said we'll just have his friend do it, let's cut that too.... and he says it's the way I reacted that's 'p***ed him off more than he ever has been before' with me...
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorsarah
:( I hope you two are able to work this out. I for one can't understand why he won't let you have this one thing.
CommentAuthorAmyP7
Yes I also hope you are able to work it out x x
CommentAuthorVelcro
Oh dear, hopefully he'll come round after calming down :/
I'd be tellign him to cancel the photographer though, why should you have to feel awkward about it?! Bloody men!!
You're happy enough (ok, begrudgingly lol) doing everything on a budget and you just want this one thing, it's unfair that he doesn't seem to understand that - especially after agreeing and allowing you to book the bloody thing before changing his mind. How can he not see that it's important to you?!
We're budgetting best we can for our wedding too, but the photographer is the one thing we won't be cutting costs on, its important that it's done right
How will he feel if his mate does a sh1t job? that could wreck a friendship that!
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorMrs Wilson x
Just book the photographer you want. This is not worth falling out over. The photographs are the most important part of your day. Take it from me who's got our photos and I'm not even happy with them after forking out £1800!!!
Deep breath! Relax. He will come back round and then you two can laugh over how stressy the details are making the planning. See the bigger picture and keep your chin up, it's not worth the argument.
Just tell him 'Hi love, I booked the photographer, I promise we won't regret it'. Then leave it at that.... good luck xx
Piglet: How do you spell Love?
Pooh: You don't spell it, you feel it.
CommentAuthorTanya83
So we've gone with his mate from work. I just gave up in the end, to be honest.
My photographer was really understanding, but I am really gutted about it.
Just hope his mate does a good job, or god help H2B!!
His mate does do photography and has done weddings and his photos are really nice, but he's only charging £100 so I am worried how much 'effort' he'll put in. H2B reassures me, but I guess we'll see once we get the photos back after the wedding.
Thank you all for your comments and helping me see I wasn't being Bridezilla x
Got together 3rd December 2008
Got engaged 22nd August 2012
Got married 23rd August 2013
CommentAuthorMrsMoran
To be fair, my h2b did the same thing, we'd agreed a photographer and got the booking form, and then the next day he said that someone where he works has told him he could do it for £300 cheaper, and at first i was shocked because it was a sudden change after i thought we'd already sorted the photographer, but I agree with him that it is a big saving that could be spent elsewhere, and as we are on a budget wedding, we could get just as amazing pictures at an even better price. xxx Maybe your h2b was just trying to help and thought that it would be a good idea of a way to save money that could be used elsewhere? If you don't like it, just tell him that your heart is set on the one you've chosen! xxx don't feel like an idiot, it happens all the time that you'll find someone who can do it at a better deal. xxxx
