Hi all, sorry for this, but I need to get this rant off my chest. A few years ago, my great grandmother had died, leaving me and a cousin £5k each (we used to go out of our way to visit her), and my younger brothers and other cousin £2k each as it wasn't their fault that she didn't see them that often. When my grandparents told me about the money that had been left to me (it was my grampies mum), I had decided that I was going to use it for my wedding, just like great grandma always said that I should when I was a little girl saying that I would never get married etc, only thing being is, my parents didn't know that I had been informed of the will and spent all of both mine and my brothers money without us knowing about it until now, and even that was because of us trying to plan the wedding and the money being mentioned that my dad eventually admitted to it, I'm furious! Not just because it's a huge issue for our wedding, but am I the only one seeing this as immoral? xoxox
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I'm sorry but if it was in her will then your parents should have never been able to access the money in the first place? And if somehow they have and there is a legal will then they have stolen that money from you, and therefore legally will have to pay you every penny back! If it wasn't a legalised will then there really is nothing you can do about it, but I agree it is totally immoral! It was not theirs to spend, it was yours and they should have never touched it! I am very angry for you, I can't believe they would spend their daughters money! Xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorLauraY27
It is totally immoral. If you can hire a solicitor and take it to the small claims court! For them to have spent it is not just immoral but illegal. It was money left you, highlighted in a legal document. They have a legal obligation to pay you back any money owed!x
CommentAuthorSandyG83
wow sorry they did that to you that really bad no your not the only one seeing it as immoral. xx
CommentAuthorLauraF89
wow, i'd be truly heartbroken. My Nan died a couple years ago and only left small amounts to her grandchildren and great grandchildren (£500 and £250 but there's a lot of us!) and one of my sisters is using her daughters money to go on holiday with, yes her daughter will be there but she's only 5 and doesn't even know about her money. Well i am not touching my little ones money as i feel that it is the wrong thing to do and who knows when he may need it when he's older.
The fact they knew that it was your money and were unaware of that you knew and they spent it is so wrong in my eyes, 5k is a lot of money and even though you say it's not an issue there's still the thought of what else that could be used for..? So what have your parents said about it?
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
Omg i would be so mad! That is your money and they had no right to as much as look ar it let alone touch it! Jow were they even able to access it? My daughter money is in a account she cannot touch till she 18 , which I can add to but not withdraw from! I had the same my grandad left me money in his will to all the grandkids £300 each which was put into a account like my daughters!
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CommentAuthorShowgirl
Oh no! I think that money should have been put into accounts in your names and if they needed the money they definitely should have asked you for a loan.
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Whoever was in charge of the will would have had to have asked your parents about where the money should go, so if you were a young age they can have the cheque put into their names, you may not have had a bank account at the time either? Legally the money is yours and i think you are in your right to try get your money back (bit awkward to take your parents to small claims court though!!)
xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorclairenina
If this was in the will, and they knew it, then it is shameful and wrong, and I think it is actually illegal.
CommentAuthorkatielea100
How did they have access to it? Are you sure your grandparents didn't leave it to your parents but told them to split it between you both but because you were young your parents disgustingly went and spent it? Otherwise if it was left to you personally they couldn't acess it and it's illegal!! X
CommentAuthorMarrying.Ryan
I would be heart broken! As a parent myself, I think it is discusting to use your childs money for yourself.
CommentAuthorAmyK
I would be absolutely livid!! To have lied to you by not giving it to you when you were old enough to receive it, and then to spend it?! Ok, so its one thing if they were truly truly desperate and only spent it to keep a roof over yours and your brothers heads, but I'm guessing this isn't the case??
CommentAuthorNataleeM
thats is soooooo wrong! i would be very upset and tell them to pay it all back xxx
Can not wait until I marry the man of my DREAMS
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I agree with everyone else, this is disgusting, what are your parents planning on doing? Are they going to pay you back? What are their opinions on the matter? Do they realise what they have done is wrong?
I'm absolutely gobsmacked, I can't believe they've spent money left to you.
CommentAuthorTrasaD
Hi all, thank you for your replies, I'm relieved to know it's not just me thinking this. The money went into my parents bank stating the amounts clearly in the will for us to have when we are 20 (great grandma was adamant that it should be used for weddings and we'd be too young if it was before we were 20). I did wonder the same thing about maybe my grandparents were wrong, so I asked my cousins about theirs, and its all as my grandparents said. Unfortunately, my mom has since died (alcohol poisoning), and all my dad has said on it is that there's nothing that he can do about it now because he can't even help out with the wedding as it is. I'm still really upset, but I feel like I'd be a bit of a b***** for taking it to court... I'm concerned about my brothers having to loose their money and not being able to support themselves as well as the wedding though:/ xoxox
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
I'm sorry hun but they obviously weren't concerned about you or your feelings when they used it. They have stolen from you and so your dad needs to pay you every penny back! A small claims court may be your only option to ever see the money (both yours and your brothers'!) xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorBecky1608
Oh hun, this is awful and really shouldn't be allowed to happen!! I do think you should try and take it further if possible because ad you've said, other people are involved as well. Feel awful for you xxx
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CommentAuthorElinor Claire
That's totally wrong given that they knew the money was supposed to be for you. It's a difficult choice, given that no one wants to have to take family matters to court, as to whether you involve a small claims court. I'm not sure it would do you much good anyway, unless your Dad has money that he isn't telling you about. I think a court can only force people to pay what they can afford to pay, so even if he was to give it to you a bit at a time it might not be there for the wedding.
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CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Have you spoken to your brothers about how they feel on the matter? As like you say it's not just you involved here and maybe they'd appreciate having someone to fight this with. I can see how you wouldn't feel right taking him to court but like others have said he stole from you and had no consideration for how his actions effected you at the time. Yes he is your Dad, but you being his daughter didn't stop them spending the money.
Has he said what they spent it on?
As soon as that money went in their account they should have opened accounts in yours and your brothers names. My Grandma left a similar will, where she wanted us all to have certain amounts and we weren't allowed access until we were 25, my Uncle was in charge of all of this when she died and he gave the money to those that were over 25 and took the rest of us to the bank and opened accounts with us (He even went to the effort of finding the one's which would bring us the most interest)
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
O.M.G They should not have been able to have access! You could go to a solicitor and contest it x
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorSandyG83
It is horrible they did this but is money worth possibly losing family over. I know as ppl said they have stolen and wasnt concerned at the time, but I guess if your close with your dad you have to consider if it is worth possibly losing him over it and maybe other family if they wrongly support him. And also if hes got no money how will he pay it even if a court awards it to you abd the put courtcosts on top.
CommentAuthorthefuture:Mrs_Hurren
Oh that's horrible, thinking you had that money to use. It really is immoral. If you don't want to take your dad to court how about him taking a loan/ credit card to pay and help with some of the costs. I really feel for you xx
CommentAuthorBethanyS
I would be so upset! Its lovely that your grandma actually left you some money, but its just so heart breaking that it has all been spent! x
CommentAuthorMrsManiatt
The fact that they have spent money left to you is illegal, never mind immoral. Your great grandma left you that money for you. I would demand that they pay up to the value that you were left, or take them to court. Even though they are your parents, thats a lot of money to spend when it isn't yours! xxx
CommentAuthorPang
That's so awful of them to have spent it and completely illegal. Very hard to say what to do because it's only your dad left. Does he really not have any money? Do you have a good relationship with him, or at least prior to this matter? If so, you really need to weigh up the options, especially as it will affect your family. Good luck!
CommentAuthorAllishiaW
I would be fuming!! Although if I was in your situation I don't know why I would do!! Good luck x
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
Please don't think I'm being harsh here.... but I know some others are saying you don't want to loose your dad over this... but I just don't think it's something I could get over, so let's say you forget about the money and have the wedding you can afford without it, all the stress you'll have getting everything together and worrying about money.... and then on your big day having your dad there knowing what he did? How would you feel?
I personally don't know if I could do it... maybe that makes me a horrible person, but at the end of the day he is the parent in this situation and he hasn't acted that way.
CommentAuthorTrasaD
Hi all, as guilty as I feel for admitting this donnah, I'm the same, but more out of priorities towards my younger brothers "/ unfortunately, my dad and I haven't been that close since my mom died. We wasn't overly close to begin with as both my parents liked to drink, so I was often too busy looking after my brothers etc, but he has been there since I was 2 years old, so I've always called him Dad for as long as I can remember, however, when mom died he turned around and said that now that she was dead I was no longer his daughter, so not very close at all. I know it sounds stupid, but he is still the one that raised me, so I still call him Dad, so I still feel conflicted on the whole money thing. I'm gutted that we can't have the dream wedding that we had planned within our thought budget, but I don't know if I have it in me to take it to court either....I feel kinda guilty for it knowing that the only reason why my poor brothers are having to find out about it is because of the wedding:( xoxox
CommentAuthorbrilly
Omg wrong wrong wrong on soo many levels and im sorry but I would take him to court parent or no parent its theft and should be made to pay it back not get away with it, why was it even left to them if they were alcoholics? Surely it should of been put in to seperate bank accounts. Just think how your great gran would be feeling if she were still here. I feel soo angry for you I just want to come and slap your dad up against the head and make him pay you back. Big hugs xx
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CommentAuthorCharlieBe-Cool
Wow. Your parents were completely out of order. Why was the money even released to them? Unfortunately, if your dad hasnt got the money to give it to you now, your not likely to get it back through small claims court, certainly before the wedding. Assuming the court would award you the £5k, your dad might say he can only afford to pay it off £10 a month - the court cant make someone pay what they dont have! Im sorry you've been placed in this situation though. Your dad should atleast be begging forgiveness not just fob you off with "sorry spent it".
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CommentAuthorVelcro
absolutely disgusting. it may 'only be money' but its the principle of it, stealing off your own children!
Does he have any assets at all? Ive read all your posts and tbh, I wouldn't feel even the slightest bit guilty about taking the rotter to court. what a vile thing to do and his attitude about it as well. They clearly didn't give a stuff about yours and your brothers feelings in all this, so why give a chuff about his :/
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorTrasaD
Hi all, thank you for your responses. My great grandma didn't know about my parents and the drinking,my grandparents never wanted to accept that their daughter (my mom) had a drinking problem to let anyone know about it, and I always made sure not to mention it in front of great grandma because of not wanting to upset her, so as far as my great grandma knew, it was perfectly safe and ok to trust my parents with our money as she had done with my cousins also. With regards to my dad, as far as I know, he doesn't have any assets at all. I had to take the main bill for my mom's funeral because he couldn't afford it (I refused to allow my grandparents to pay for their daughters funeral, it didn't seem right). So I can only assume he has no money to make he claim for"/ xoxox
CommentAuthorVelcro
Oh Hun, that's such a shame. I'd be tempted to publicly shame him for the low life that he is ):
My dad's an alcoholic too, he lives in squalor, still thinks he's a teenager or something. Total embarrassment
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthorLauraF89
Ohh, i feel so sad for you! :(
I would be so angry anh heartbroken over the money thing and i could understand if times were hard for them back then etc but with the drink it just seems like there priorities were else where and the attitude was "well they dont know about it and never will so we might as well have it". I'm sorry you cant have the bigger wedding you want. We're on a budget too and i would love a little more spend but we're determined to have an amazing day regardless of what money we've got.
I hope everything works out for you hun xxx
October 31st 2015
I will be Mrs. Henry
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
CommentAuthorDonnaH39
I don't know what else to say, but don't feel guilty about your brothers finding out because of the wedding, it would have come out eventually and maybe they would have been in a similar situation to you if this hadn't happened (where they thought they had the money to rely on but then found out it was gone)
CommentAuthorFernP61
I would be spitting feathers!! Thats so wrong ok if they had to use it for any reason they could atleast have put it back x
CommentAuthorPang
After reading how he has turned around and said you're not his daughter... he definitely deserves to be taken to court - let the judge decide! It might provide some sort of closure for you. If I didn't do anything about it, it would hang over me and make me miserable. Then I'd regret not doing anything and get even more miserable/angry. It's not something that many people can just dismiss easily.
CommentAuthorTrasaD
Thank you everyone...as it stands, I've tried to reason with my dad to try and set things right with him, but he currently won't talk to me or my grandparents :( xoxox
