Wedding Forum - No children allowed....

We have decided that for our wedding we are not inviting any children.

This has annoyed a couple of people but the main reason is because our nephew is invited - he will be 3 by the wedding, and he will be a page boy.

But no children who are not involved in the bridal party are invited. (eg page boy, bridesmaids etc - we have one bridesmaid who is 15 and then the page boy who is 3 - everyone else invited are adults)

This has caused a bit of a problem as some people don't understand why they cant bring their children.

Am I being unreasonable saying it's mine and my H2B's wedding and we should be alowed to invite who we want.

R

no, i dont think that is being unreasonable. i wanted a childless wedding aswell but have settled on only family children, which include my neice (flower girl) age 3, nephew (page boy) 6, neice 5 months at wedding (not born yet) and h2b 5 nephews. youngest will be 4 and the others are teenagers. We are saying to all our guests that are coming that we do not want children there except familyxx

we have 3 daughters and they're the only ones invited to ours too....even our nieces are not going to be invited!
i dont want the stress of watching people not keep a hold on their kids on my day and also the cost of kids meals is absolutely ridiculous... £22 per child at my venue,and in our friends most have got three kids!!
i just dont want to add another £700-800 on top of my budget for kids meals....

you're not being unreasonable, its your day and it is entirely up to you who you want there!

yea kelly thats one of the reasons why we are not inviting anymore kids aswelll xxxxxx

We've done the same tbh and no kids to the night as I always get landed with the kids regardless of who's party it is and is like a day that I can spend with rich

I just dont want the hassle of kids, plus the parents should be happy that they get a night off from the kids and can enjoy a party and a few drinks!! Dont parents always moan that they want a night off!!!? Im giving the perfect excuse!!

i just dont want kiddy drama at my wedding where someone spills drinks, makes a mess, falls over grazes a knee and cries, etc etc.

I want everyone to relax and be able to think about themselves and not have to look after their kids all night! plus they would most likely have to leave early if they bring their kids, so does that mean that everyone will leave at 9pm. GREAT all that money just for people with kids to bugger off half way through!!

We have got at least 16 children coming to our wedding ranging from 6 months to 14 but we don't have the ridiculous prices for their meals as we are doing our own food, and we never even thought about not having any children there as we have 3 ourselves and it is always fun! But that doesn't mean you are being unreasonable in the slightest, it is your wedding and you have the right to say who isn't invited for whatever reasons. If people are annoyed then they can either shut up and smile or not come at all. Why should your day be compromised for other people! There are only 2 kids who are coming to the wedding that we are slightly worried about but any messing about and they and their mother will be spoken to. I won't have my day ruined by children who can't behave or show respect. YOUR day YOUR rules, end of. :) xx

Gregorysgirl, Thank you.

I totally understand people who want loads of kids at their wedding. Everyone has their own thoughts, but as you said i dont want to be forced to do anything I dont want to on our day.

I would never consider trying to make someone invite someone who wasnt already on the list. what a cheek.

One of the venues I looked at didn't allow anyone under 18, and h2b and I talked about the possibility of a childfree wedding. However most of my family have two children or more, and h2b's brother will still be 17 by the time the wedding comes around so we decided it wasn't really right for us.

I love all my cousins and h2b's cousins etc, but we will be expecting all children attending to be on their best behaviour.

If you invite peoples children the food bill will go through the roof as well I say good on you

not unreasonable but like greyarea mentioned above...just be prepared for some of them not coming due to lack of babysitters..some babies may still be b reastfed, parents not wanting to leave their kids...and if ur ok with that then go ahead!

i was quite lucky..only had 6 kids to th whole day my own son who was ust coming up for 3 ..anther 3 year old, a 2 year old , a 3 year old, a 5 year ld and 5 year old..i made them up bags for during the meal which kept them occupied and i was quite lucky in the fact theywere all well behaved

but its ur day so ur choice :D

:)

We aren't having children bar rob's niece and nephew and that is because his sister and brother in law live so far away and we have included them as part of the wedding

I am putting on people's invites where they have kids only named guests invited so they don't bring them. Most of these people aren't invited to the day anyway so should be easy to get a sitter for just an evening :) xxx

becca - the reason i said that it would be their loss not mine was because in all honesty I only want people who really really care for me and H2B to be there, and if that ends up just being my mum then thats totally cool by me.

i dont feel like i need a big show and dance.

I am looking forward to a civilized grown up gathering, and my threat will be if any one stresses me out over this wedding I'll cancel it all run away and get married in Vagas - really doesnt bother me!

All i want is to be with my H2B being united and being husband and wife is whats important - nothing else, esspecially not keeping other people happy!

Gosh I do sound like a bitch dont i! LOL! I dont mean to.

It's just I am young, in love, and just want the whole day to be about how I feel about my partner. I've got my ring which is all I really wanted - as for the wedding I would get married in ripped jeans and tshirt if i had to as long as I was getting married to my man! :)

hehe! No Im a stubborn mule! i just dont like being told what I can and cant do. :P

But yeah me and my H2B have said that we would have the wedding in our back garden (which isnt big!) and just have a BBQ! because its the two of us thats important.

But a) we wouldnt be able to invite half as many poeple and b) i dont think my mum would be too happy about that! and she is the only one I will listen to! lol!

We are most looking forward to the Honeymoon.
We planned the honeymoon when we first met, and its been an adventure we have been thinking about for way longer than the wedding.

we plan to go to Yellow stone park in America to see wolves and bears and go on safari there!!! :) that is when we will be trully married and in paridise and share something special just the two of us. Seeing a wolf in the wild - OMG it will be amazing!

I think If I had children then I would be more open to invite children.
I dont - and am not too keen on having them any time soon. Im not too fussed if i never have kids, i have two wonderful dogs :p and they are enough for me.

The kids that mean the most to me are part of the bridal party - the 3 year old nephew (pageboy) and my 15 year old cousin (bridesmaid).

I think it would be wrong of me to invite children just because it's 'fair' and then for both me and my HB2 to regret it.

He is even more adamant than me that kids are not allowed. :s so its not all my doing! hehe!

You are not being unreasonable and its up to you whether to invite kids or not to the wedding. But I do agree that some guests who do have kids may not be able to attend due to having difficulty finding babysitters. We chose to have kids at our wedding as we are both very family orientated and although we dont have kids I come from a very big family and have lots of nieces and nephews and also a few of our friends have kids. I cant say I saw anyone misbehaving, even the adults behaved well lol!! But to me it made my wedding to have kids there and it didnt stop guests from leaving early as some had arranged for their kids to be picked up by family members/friends at 9pm and for them to stay on and others partied late with their children. xx

I went to a wedding and there were a couple of kids that were right little sh!ts.... they weren't naughty or mischievious.... they were soooo bad!! Parents couldn't control them and they were soo rude and old enough to know better!! (atleast 10 I'd say) AWFUL!! And they were running round knocking all the toddlers over, running into everyone, under all the tables, knocking stuff over, saying such rude things to people!! Hideous hideous children!! And if we have kids at our wedding they're gonna be there!! They're the ONLY reason I don't want kids at our wedding!!
And this is coming from someone who usually loves all children!!

im so annoyed, hsb sister has announced she is pregnent.... i have got her other child handing out confetti cones at the wedding as she was upset i was having my godchild as page boy. so i decided 2 give in and get him a suit too and give him a job !! now she anonuced she will have a 2 month old baby at my wedding, im haveing a string quartet during the meal, and on purpose am not inviting babies to the wedding. i have really close friends who have babies or who are cuurently pregnant and told them there baby wont be invited to the wedding, and they totally understand.. but now im going to have a screaming child at my wedding and she even suggested i pay for an outfit for the baby so it would also be involved in the wedding !!!! so anoyed......

:O Oh no!!! I feel so sorry for you Mitch2509!!

this is one of the reasons i told H2B that we cant give in to anyone - because once you give in to one thing they walk all over you! i know that sounds tough, but sometimes you have to be!

And as for them wanting you to pay for a little suit for the baby - ummmm - NO!

how dare someone ask you to pay for something for them to be a guest. dont they realise that weddings are expensive enough as it is!?

I really do feel for you - Its a terrible situation to be in. in all honesty though my outlook on things is - if they want to start an argument over things then let them, you dont want people around you that dont have respect for you and your best interests at heart on your big day.

I am an easy going person and will not cause arguments with people - but if someone wants to argue with me then I simply say 'keep arguing and i will no longer be part of your life at all' i dont need people like that in my life. I would rather walk away and never speak to them again, that to me is more civil than an argument.
As I said, I wont start an argument I will always talk it through and try and get them to see my point of view, but if they refuse to cooperate or to sympathise then tough luck on them!!

Good luck x

OK, i have come to the conclusion that each bride and groom should make a rule - kids or no kids, and stick to it.

If people are going to get nasty or difficult about it then they are being really unfair.

I am simply saying no kids allowed to ours. It's the bride and grooms choice. We're not in a playground, we can be adults about it. People should be happy that you have invited them at all, tell them they need to respect your choices its your big day not theirs, and until they pay for it, organise it, and all the rest then they need to keep quiet.

And when it's their big day they can do what they want and you wont stick your nose in!!