Hi ladies, I could really do with your help/opinion on something.

My h2b is Greek (he was born in this country but his dad and ancestors all come from cyprus) and I am English, so as you can imagine our wedding will be quite multi-cultural. The problem is coming from the fact that both sets of parents are very traditional, but obviously the traditions are different. We will be getting married in my church but h2b's Greek priest will also be doing a Greek blessing during the ceremony (hopefully, we haven't been to speak to him yet). We are having the english traditional sit down meal and wedding cake, but the problem comes with the reception.

H2b wants to have a Greek band at the beginning of the evening with the traditional Greek dances, and then a DJ later (around 9.30ish). My parents are very against it as they say it isn't traditional and no it isn't for us but it is for them. Then there is the problem that in Greek tradition rather than giving gifts, the couple do a money dance. This is the couples first dance and the guests pin money onto the bride and groom as they dance (the idea is that it will set the couple up in a new home together). When I told my parents we would be doing this they said that they thought it was a horrible idea and that it would offend the English guests. I have said that I would pop a poem in the invites explaining to guests that this would be happening and if they dont wish to participate then they don't have to, but they still say it is disrespectful. So, if you had an invite to a wedding with this in it would you be offended by it?

I know most people will say it is our day etc. but my parents are paying for over half of the wedding, and h2b's aren't contributing. It's really getting me down as everything I say about anything non traditional to an English wedding they think is h2b's parents pushing, but it isn't, it is what he wants, and it is his wedding too!

What would you do in my situation? xxx

Awww hun, I think its a little unfair of your parents not to accept the mix of the 2 cultures into YOUR day, and you may have to upset them a little as like you have said this is both YOURS and H2B's wedding not theirs.
I really like the sound of the money dance, no one is saying they have to contribute if people feel uncomfortable but why not!! It's a fun day, the evening reception is about relaxing and enjoying those first moments as husband and wife and sharing that with your families.
I think you need to sit down with them, with h2b present and tell them what you want to do. You can have the traditional ceremony and are having a sit down meal, after that you have to call the shots, and if they are good parents, which if they have brought you up they must be, I am sure they will accept it.
Remember you can't please everybody, but make sure you do whats right for the two of you.
Good luck xx

If i recieved an invitation and it had a note explaining what would be happening, then i wouldn't be offended at all.
I hope you can sort something out with your parents xxx

I would LOVE to do the pinning money on the dress tradition!!
You are right that you need to incorporate both your cultures and personalities into the wedding. Stick to your guns hun and try and help your parents to open their minds a little as best you can. I bet they will love it in the end and be first up to start pinning the money on your dress! :) xx

Thank you ladies, they just got me worried that I would offend people by doing it and I didn't want to be offending anyone! I can't talk to them properly at the moment as I'm at uni so wont see them now until Easter, but I do need to try and talk to them again. Thank you so much for your thoughts and advice though, I'm glad to see that none of you would be offended by it xxx

Have the dance, but if people would rather not pin money to your clothes (say if they had got you a gift instead, or didn't like the idea of showing how much they wanted to give you), why not print off some "Mr & Mrs" money and let guests use that? that way, all your guests can take part in the tradition but without splashing the real cash around. Also, the children could take part too (don't know many small children who could be trusted with real cash notes!) it'd be sure to get everyone involved.
Sounds like a fun and memorable wedding you're planning :-) x

I love the idea of a fusion wedding and love the idea of the money dance. I certainly wouldn't be offended and would look forward to participating in it as it's different. I agree with Amy and love her suggestions!

It can be difficult with mixed marriages, I'm Chinese and H2b is well not English but is white (half Scottish and bits English, French, Swiss and I think some Dutch thrown in too) so we are having the traditional church wedding but in a catholic church (I'm catholic, he's Methodist). We will have a traditional English 3 course wedding breakfast but the canapes during the drinks reception will be Chinese style (spring rolls, satay sticks, tempura veggies, prawn crackers etc.)

The venue decoration will have a Chinese theme, the colour3 scheme is red and gold for the Chinese and the invitations are a Chinese style.

It's good and I think a lovely touch if you want to mix the two cultures to create something special and unique to both of you and will be something I'm sure your guests will love and remember for positive reasons.

So, if you want it and H2b wants it, I say go for it xxx

Think you need to push a few of the Greek traditions hun. I've always loved the money dance and I dint think you would offend anyone xx