Wedding Forum - My immediate family and my fiancee's immediate family dont get on! - Page 1

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  1.  
    • LucyD99
      CommentAuthorLucyD99
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    My mum, dad, etc dont get on with my fiancee's mum, dad, etc.... So i have no idea what to do for top table as we obviously want them all there with us, but they absolutley hate each other! And i know we have a little while before the wedding but we have been together over 4 years already and nothings changed so im not holding out much hope for the future ! Help !!!

    Members signature icon
    Met 2008
    Engaged 2011
    Had two beautiful Children, 2010, 2012
    Getting Married 2013 :D
  2.  
    • OWB
      CommentAuthorOWB
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Well they will be separated by the bride and groom, so unless they're going to sling insults across you (which you would hope they would refrain from doing on your wedding day!) then you should be ok?

    If not, consider a sweetheart table with just you and your new hubby, and place the two families on separate tables a good distance apart.

    Members signature icon
    If only life could be one long tea break


  3.  
    • NicholaP44
      CommentAuthorNicholaP44
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    i think both of you should ask both sides how they would feel. I think you should explain it is urs and his big day and if they dont like it they can sit elsewhere. x

    Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013


  4.  
    • ElaineH41
      CommentAuthorElaineH41
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Could you sit them at opposite end of the top table? Im not sure if this is the normal seating arrangements at the top table but it may be worth thinking about and would mean you can still have a top table with both sets of parents. Or how about having a top table with just the two of you, both sets of parents etc can be sat in amongst other guests? May be worth you speaking to your parents and H2B speaking to his parents, although im sure they would behave on your wedding day (or at least i hope they would!) Good luck.
  5.  
    • LucyD99
      CommentAuthorLucyD99
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    Thanks, didnt think of sweetheart table, think that sounds like a great idea! will be talking to my H2B tonight and see what we can do !
    Although im sure they would at least try and behave on our wedding day i just don't want to risk it!
    Thanks guys Xx

    Members signature icon
    Met 2008
    Engaged 2011
    Had two beautiful Children, 2010, 2012
    Getting Married 2013 :D
  6.  
    • Sam
      CommentAuthorSam
     
    I love sweetheart tables :) You could always just sit with the MOH and bestman as well if you don't want to be up there alone. I'd then just sit the families at their own family table.
  7.  
    • Sian''OCD''Holkham
      CommentAuthorSian''OCD''Holkham
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    This post is so similar to our situation I thought I'd wrote it mine and hubbys parents don't get along and we did say before wedding please just try and put up with each other for one day but did they listen NO and I keep hearing how hubbys mum and dad were extremely rude to mum on the day so glad I didn't find out until after but it has taken the shine off the day a bit you need to sit them both down tell them to grow up lol and just forget they don't like each other for one day or it will spoil your whole wedding good luck hun x

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  8.  
    • ZeeMee83
      CommentAuthorZeeMee83
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    My situations a little like that apart from it's my parents that HATE my h2b!! We went to a wedding the other day and they didn't even say hi to me or my h2b... oh well their loss. I've decided i don't want them sitting on the top table so they are on the first table, sitting aty an angle from us so hopefully there should be no killer stares lol x
  9.  
    • Princess2be
      CommentAuthorPrincess2be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    ZeeMEe, thats awful!!! What is their problem???

    I agree you should think about a sweetheart table. Either that or try to make them see eye to eye for the sake of your big day!!
    x




  10.  
    • georgie
      CommentAuthorgeorgie
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    You could do what we're doing and just get married away alone x




  11.  
    • ZeeMee83
      CommentAuthorZeeMee83
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    Oh its a LONG story but the gist of it is they think he's obnoctious, self-centered, lazy, fat, gross, no manners and god knows what else, they obviously don't know him because if he was like that then i wouldn't be with him, let alone marring him lol x

    They should put their differences aside for one day if they truly love you x
  12.  
    • NinaDawson
      CommentAuthorNinaDawson
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
      edited
     
    I have practically the same problem. The in-laws don't like my parents as they can't believe that they wouldn't do anything for their eldest daughter whereas they bend over backwards for both me and H2B now. FIL2B almost ended up in a fight with my dad as he charged us £50 to move us. My H2B had to stop him from saying something. And the more that my family aren't contributing, my ILs are getting more and more angry at them for being useless (I am too). To solve the problem I have my dad and FIL2B on top table but at opposite ends and my mum and MIL2B are at different tables from each other

    N xx

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  13.  
    • AmyP7
      CommentAuthorAmyP7
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yes I think a sweetheart table is a great idea. My family don't get on, but none that would go on the top table so we are just going to sit them at either side of the room x x

    Members signature icon



  14.  
    • KirstyJ22
      CommentAuthorKirstyJ22
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Surely they will refrain from insulting each other on your wedding day? As long as they stay out of each other's way it should be fine shouldn't it? x x
  15.  
    • CommentAuthor
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    why not have bestman, groomsmen and bridesmaids on top table and your families on opposite sides of the room?
    xxx

    Members signature icon
    met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
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  16.  
    • higginszajac
      CommentAuthorhigginszajac
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    Have them host their own tables, maybe with their close family or friends at opp ends of the main table, then just have you the groom , best man and bridesmaids on the top table xx




  17.  
    • Princess2be
      CommentAuthorPrincess2be
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    ZeeMee, i think thats horrible of your family to think that. Pffft!!!
    As long as he has you hun.
    x




  18.  
    • TeganandRob
      CommentAuthorTeganandRob
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sweetheart table is the easiest solution or just have his family on his side of the top table and yours on your side.nthat should be enough to keep them separated. They're grown adults and should be expected to behave as such for a few hours!
  19.  
    • LucyD99
      CommentAuthorLucyD99
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    i think either a sweetheart table/ having bridesmaids and groomsmen with us, and have them host their own tables sounds great, at least then they are totally seperate ! Thanks for all the advice :) xx

    Members signature icon
    Met 2008
    Engaged 2011
    Had two beautiful Children, 2010, 2012
    Getting Married 2013 :D
  20.  
    • ClareS
      CommentAuthorClareS
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    As already suggested either have a table just for the two of you with your parents hosting their own table or just put your parents at your side of the tabe and in laws at the other side. Hopefully they're all adult enough to keep any opinions to themselves and enjoy your special day x
  21.  
    • VanessaS42
      CommentAuthorVanessaS42
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    God if I was going through this I don't know what I would do! If talking to them won't work then like what has been said before sit them somewhere else and have a top table with people you would want to. Sweetheart tables are nice or get your siblings/bridesmaids/groomsmen to sit there.
    Personally id sit them on the kids table as if they can't be civil to one another on one day then they should sit with the other children!!

    My mother and my OH have this love/hate relationship and I hate being in the room when they get going. My mother lives abroad so when she comes to visit its a full on 2 week job and my OH really struggles to cope!
    Anyway one night the two of them got going, arguing about nothing and I was at my wits end, tear were shed and I out right told them that if they couldn't get on then the two of them could get stuffed! It worked, lord knows at that moment I felt like I had solved the mystery to life! My OH turned to my mother and said "I love your daughter more then anything and if me and you not getting on upsets her then it upsets me to" with that my mother cried, agreed, they both had a hug then proceeded to swap embarrassing stories and pointers on how they think I should improve my life!! Needless to say I think I've Been lucky there as if they hadn't of got through that then lord knows what I would of done!

    Although that story sounds like a magical ending I can assure you it is not, my OH still shudders when I mention a mum visit!!
  22.  
    • Officially Mrs M
      CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
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    put you your husband and your two children up there with your best man and chief BM, sit everyone else on tables with there family

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    8th September 2012 I married my best friend
    1st September 2014 our little family grew by one

    Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
  23.  
    • Ha_x3
      CommentAuthorHa_x3
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    I am sorry to hear this.
    I agree with Mrs Mann, that way you dont have to worry about any bickering etc.

    My inlaws still havent met my dad, because i am worried my dad will judge them etc and i would hate for an argument to break out when i love my inlaws to pieces, i suppose they will have to at some point though xx

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    Mrs Lunn
    08/05/12 was the best day of my life
    & I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
  24.  
    • Ha_x3
      CommentAuthorHa_x3
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I am sorry to hear this.
    I agree with Mrs Mann, that way you dont have to worry about any bickering etc.

    My inlaws still havent met my dad, because i am worried my dad will judge them etc and i would hate for an argument to break out when i love my inlaws to pieces, i suppose they will have to at some point though xx

    Members signature icon
    Mrs Lunn
    08/05/12 was the best day of my life
    & I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
  25.  
    • natalie2614
      CommentAuthornatalie2614
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree, put your bridal party on the top table with you, CBM, BM and bridesmaids/ushers? Or just have a sweethart table xx

    Married my best friend 05.04.2013


  26.  
    • LegoWife
      CommentAuthorLegoWife
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    We're having a sweetheart table and parents hosting their own. It'll be nice for H2B and I to have some time together -sort of- alone during the meal.

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    ~Wedding made of Lego~
    *Married 30/03/13*

  27.  
    • mcquire81
      CommentAuthormcquire81
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    All our parents are divorced with new partners and dont get on at all. We spent ages trying to find a compromise and in the end decided to put my mum with my H2B's dad and vice versa, then me and my H2b are sitting on a sweetheart table so that noone gets offended, plus it means we get some time to ourselves!
 

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