URGH!!!!! so annoyed!
The other day I asked my dad what his opinion was on my mum walking me down the aisle instead of him. I know it sounds a little harsh but me and my dad have never been close and he has more time for his other kids and grandchildren they gave him than me!
Me and my mum are like bestfriends, sisters, mum and daughter, we share everything together.

Anyway he flew off the handle, called me selfish etc, I explained to him why I was asking him and that I had not made a decision I was just asking him an honest question and I expected an honest answer. Any way I asked him if we were ok after and he said no and then proceeded to act like a spoilt brat! I mean I understand why he is upset but at the same time he needs to understand why I have asked!

I was extremely upset and I decided to discuss it with my mum (even though I didn't want to I talk to her about everything as she always has the answer). She was pretty annoyed how he acted but prayed that it would make him see sense that he doesn't see me enough (I moved from Stalybridge to Bolton a few months ago and he said that unless I went to see him I wouldn't see him because of how far away I live now, he drives I don't). So I settled and said I'd wait till he came round.

When she was on the phone she mentioned he had said something at my neice's christening last Sunday. She didn't want to tell me but we always pride ourselves on telling each other the truth so I eventually got her to tell me. Now some of you know I have been married before. He turned round to my mum and said "how many more weddings do I have to pay for". When she told me I was mortified, I absolutely flew off the handle! A) he has been married and divorced twice himself and B) I have only asked him for £100 toward deposit of venue.

To be honest I'm tempted to tell him to stuff his £100 where the sun don't shine and do it myself and have my mum walk me down the aisle. He seems to want all the glory of being a dad without earning any of it.

Am I being too harsh or am I right?
(sorry about the long post I need advice)

Both kind of. You asked him for his opinion about you asking your mum to walk you down the aisle and he gave you his opinion. You should probably have not asked his opinion at all or been more prepared for an answer that you didn't want to hear.

Having said that he should be mature enough to know where he has gone wrong in your upbringing etc, accepted your decision and not said anything insulting to anyone behind your back. £100 quid is nothing so why is he even moaning about it. Yeah I would in fact tell him to keep his money and I wouldn't ask him for monetary help ever again, but I would keep the wedding invitation open to him as you don't want him spreading it around the family that you have been a bitch and refused him a invitation.

I think i would have expected a negative reaction but to make a comment like that is quite selfish of him, tell him to stuff his £100 and dont ask him for a penny more.

Well i'm going to politely refuse his £100 (as he doesnt know I know about the convo) and wait to see what happens in the next 12 months

I think it was out of order of him to kick off at you, it's your wedding and your decision.
I have a similar situation. My mum and I are so close and for me it was obvious that my mum should walk me down the aisle even though it's not traditional.
Your dad should understand that, and be mature enough to accept it. I would also politely refuse the £100 from him xxx

ok this might just play devils advocate here

but

have you considered how hurt he might have been for you to even suggest this to him from his point of view the fact that you even asked him would put into his mind that you dont want him too .

bevery careful about cutting your losses hun ...sometime something done in haste is very difficult to change at a later date

I would nicely refuse, that way you aren't the one to cause any hard feeling xx

Hello Victoria! Wow he can't see fit to pay for his own suit? We are paying for the bridal party suits and both fathers suits (if they both want to wear one), but then my mum and dad are paying for our vintage car and perhaps our honeymoon (well they sent my brother and his wife to New York as a surprise) but if they don't get us a honeymoon I'm not bothered as my dad is now retired.

Some families members are pig ignorant and sometimes for no reason and most of those will never change sadly :-( so the best thing that can be done is keep their invitation open to them and let them decide to come or not. I'm currently pregnant with our first child and I know that whatever happens my fiancé isn't going to act like that with her as he's very caring and he tries his best to help both his dad and his brother who haven't spoken to each other in 3 years which is two grown men acting pathetically especially the brother. He lives with us and its tough being stuck in the middle and I wish he would grow up. And now that I'm pregnant my kids grandad won't come to our house because the brother might be here and neither of them would come to the hospital if the child gets sick in case the other might be there and its just sad. Ridiculous as we will invite both of them to the christening but no doubt one or else both won't show up and stuff like that is killing my fiancé. The best about it all is he knows that if one of them did decide to end the feud, the other would just throw his arms around him and vice versa. Both of them ask my fiancé how the other one is.

Hey ho, next Christmas, our babies first christmas should be a laugh what with those two children doing their best to avoid each other on Christmas Day.

well I text him today to see how he as been as he has been ill and has had chest infection and he told me he is in hospital having chest xrays! The guy annoys the hell out of me but how can I not give a cr*p?!? my mum rang my sister to see whats wrong with him and apparently no one knows he was there except me! He does bring it on himself but how can he blame us?
I just don't get the guy! he wonders why we don't care when he doesnt care himself (from my p.o.v)
I'm just going to wait till he decides he wants to talk about it.

looks like we all having problems :/