My younger brother (hes 18 im 23) is down atm and i just want to help him!
His girlfriend is younger than him and he does everything for her! Its my parents' 50th birthdays this year and in 2 weeks theyre taking me and my h2b, my bro and his girl to Egypt all inclusive for 2 weeks - their treat. This was entirely their decision and we're so grateful! But apparently shes not... she left her passport till yesterday to get renewed so she had to pay an extra £70 to get it back quicker.... that was his fault apparently. The fact that shes (only recently) working full time hours to get money is his fault He does nothing for her, he treats her horribly, he puts his dog over her, he makes her do things she doesnt wanna do etc etc etc - she keeps saying all these things to him and hes gettin so upset.
He literally does absolutely anything for her, we all do! I took a day off work (unpaid) to get her passport sorted - but apparently i shudnt have got involved (according to her now), my parents have paid for a hol for her.... her parents are taking my brother and her away on hol but are making him get a flight to paris by himself (theyre all going in car and no room for him) and then once in paris get to the train station and get a 2 hour train to meet them.... hes scared as hell to go cos he doesnt like asking for help and hes worried hes going to get stuck somewhere - but apparently acording to her this is just him causing problems for her!
Ive told him numerous times that only he can decide whether all this is worth going through to be with him
But last night at midnight she actually made him cry!!!! He walked out of my parents house at midnight and didnt get back in till 1am - my dad was so worried about him!
We all are!
I just dont know what to do! But im so worried
We found out only recently that my Grandad has advanced mouth cancer and thats a lot to deal with as we're really close to him - but for her to put this added stress onto my brother isnt right at all!
I dont know what to do - any advice? xxx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
**to be with her NOT HIM lol sorry
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorHalloween_Bride
get him to ditch her!!! she sounds like a grade A b*tch the only thing you can do hun is be there for him xxx
Little Miss StressHead
I speak my mind if ya dont like it then tough
Men cant live with them, cant legally kill them
I'm like Marmite you either love me or hate me!!
CommentAuthorfuturemrsstockwin
Your poor brother! she sounds very imature but being under 18 she is prob too young to deal with this. We all have to go through cr*p and it will make him a stronger person for it. This is prob his first love and it will hurt but i dont think there is much you can do appart from being there to pick up the pieces x x x x x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
My mums tried the whole "just dump her" speech and now he doesnt talk to her about it so ive gotta tread carefully xxx
don't know if there is much you can do if he doesnt listen to you. its his life and he has to make his own mistakes. as hard as it is to watch xx
CommentAuthorfuturemrsstockwin
that would be the worst thing you could do you haveto get him to make the dissision x x x
CommentAuthorAshlie-Louise
all you can do is be there for your bro if and when he needs you. sometimes pushing people to the decision which is obviously right for them only actos to alienate them, either because they feel you are unsupportive, or that you will gloat if you end up being right. my best mate was in a relationship where the guy was really controlling, wouldnt let her wear what she wanted, eat when she wanted, talk to her friends and family unsupervised, which was horrible for all of us. I just sat back and told her "im here if you need me" and left it at that (with the odd cuppa). She left the guy last year, and moved straight into my place, as she felt she had no where else to go.
she's since said that if i hadnt sat back and waited for her to decide, she wouldn't have felt able to come to me when she did, but that knowing i was there for her if and when i was needed gave her the strength to leave her ex. she's now with a much nice guy and is very very happy.
i think the best thing to do is make it clear to your bro that you are there whatever time of day he needs you, for anything (hanging out, gf probs, coping with the news bout ur grandad), but not force your company on him.
hope that helps some hunni, and best wishes to you and your family at this difficult time xxx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thats what i thort mrsstockwin2b! xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthor~*~ Becca ~*~
i agree...he needs to ditch this girl she's taking him for a ride and esp taking advantage of ur parents generousity!!!! she clearly is lacking maturity and is a top class b!tch who craves attention seeking and eyes on her !!
tell him to ditch her..pletny more fish in the see that deserves his love xx
17.09.2010 ---I am officially Mrs Rebecca Mollins
Twilight - its' like my own personal brand of Heroin...
Edward Cullen - The Hottest Vampire since 1901 !!
I have OTD - Obsessive Twilight Disorder :D
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks Ashlie!
Yeah he knows he can talk to me about anything, he also talks a lot to my h2b!
Its just hard seeing him go thru all this then when i see the girl shes all happy happy in my face and i find it hard not to deck her lol
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorEmsy5000
There's not much you can do for him other than make sure he know you love him. Ultimately he will realize that this girl is no good for him and that he should dump her. But if you get involved in telling him that she is no good then you will become the baddy. Maybe you could ask him some questions about how he thinks things are going to get his brain working though. HUG it's not easy when someone you love is being hurt by someone you don't. My baby brother is in a similar situation with a girl he was about to leave and suddenly she is preggers with his child so he could not leave now he is playing happy dad but still she is the wrong girl for him and it kills me!
Dyslexic
its spelt wrong
I No! I Now! I Know!!!!!
I am NOW MRS LONSDALE!!
CommentAuthorHalloween_Bride
maybe get h2b to take him to the pub for some bonding time & get him to talk to him xx
Little Miss StressHead
I speak my mind if ya dont like it then tough
Men cant live with them, cant legally kill them
I'm like Marmite you either love me or hate me!!
CommentAuthorAshlie-Louise
lol, sounds like my bro's ex ... shes currently spouting malicious gossip at the pub they both work at. but my bro is so much happier for breaking up with her. but decking her wont solve anything (excet to make you feel a bit better, b4 the guilt hits in), and may only make things worse with ur bro. i act as the go between wrt my parents and my bro, cos he wont talk or listen to mum bout "girl stuff" but he will discuss it with me. i tell mum anything she needs to be kept up to date with, and everyone gets on much better xxx
CommentAuthorfuturemrsstockwin
It wont take him long to realise i hope! i would find it really hard to not deck her too! but saying that she its not really her fault she just sounds imature and unable to deal with this when they split up she will look back and realise what she had with him. She just sounds like a spoilt brat x x x x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Everytime she comes to my parents house she ends up having a go and leaving the house alone If she does that in egypt we're all worried she'll not come back!
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorfuturemrsstockwin
YAY! lol x x x
CommentAuthorAshlie-Louise
*likes* the idea of the girl never coming back xxx
CommentAuthorSuzi
Maybe I can pay her a visit??? Show her a few photo's taken of me a couple of years ago after the man I was with showed how appreciative he was to have me in his life.... That might make her sit up and realise what a gem of a guy she has in your brother!! Some women don't deserve the good guys!!!!!!
OK now ive calmed down a bit and got that off my chest I agree with the other's hun! There is nothing you can do, my best friends boyfriend was cheating on her for 2 years, I could never prove it so chose not to say anything, eventually I got what I needed and told her, she ended up not speaking to me and married the guy and continued to employ the woman he had cheated on her with! We had been friends, best friends for 24 years when that happened! We didn't speak for 4 years, I missed her wedding (not that I am bothered now as it was to him and they are since divorced as he cheated on her AGAIN) but we lost 4 years of our relationship.. we are the best of friends again now and she is once again being my bridesmaid! The moral of the story... keep quiet, let them come to you when they need to, as long as they know they have you to turn to that is all you can do!!
It breaks my heart to read what sort of relationship she is creating... He has to get out for his own sanity but only he can do it and in his own time.
BIG HUGS TO YOU AND YOUR BROTHER HUN x x x x
Do not disturb... Already disturbed enough!
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Thanks, I was hoping ud all not say i just have to leave it be but i know thats for the best I cant tell him to dump her cos i dont want him to stop being close to me! Just wish she wud blummin realise what shes going to loose! xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorMrs.Caz.Lewis
f*ck her up!
:D
CommentAuthorMrs Rebecca Hossfeld
Unfortunantly, although she may not be right for him, it's his life & decision, eventually he will get sick of the whiney little moo & see sense.
It's hard when we fall for someone that all of our friends & family can see because they are removed from the situation that they treat us like utter shite, but we do eventually realise, there is nly so long you can take it for.
I was in a relationship like ashlie-louise says her friend was in & I always ended up in tears, heavily medicated for depression & every time we broke up I felt like I had done wrong & always went crawling back begging for forgiveness.
Obvioulsy I did end it, now I have ended up with the perfect guy for me & this too will happen for your brother, although obviously it will be the perfect girl :P
CommentAuthorJoolsy
I would maybe get her on her own Nicola and speak to her one on one (adult to adult) and just tell her how she is making your brother feel and that he absolutely worships the ground she walks on but she is zapping all the life from him by treating him like this. I think somone even if it's not you has to sit this girl down and have a serious talk with her she can't treat people like that how she like it if the shoe was on the other foot I bet her family would be the first in their shouting their mouths off at your brother if that was the case. It's just not on!!xx
Officially Mrs Julie-Anne Muir
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
His girlfriend did go to the docs a while ago and they recommended she see a counsellor and shes missed 6 appointments outa 6 so far! Its like shes happy enuff using my brother as her own personal punch bag!
My mum n dad really dont want him to go to Paris as theyre so worried about him gettin his own flight n train as am i really! Hes said he doesnt want to go but is scared to tell her as she'll just go bizerk! And hes worried that'll ruin our hol to egypt!
xx
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorjellytot
to be honest, i think he needs to learn from his own mistakes. when i was 15 i started a relationship with a horrible guy but was so obssesed by him, no matter what people said i didnt listen. if anything, it pushed me further to him. 2years later it all ended horribly and i knew id made a big mistake not listening to my friends and family. i have learnt from this though and i think thats what your brother needs to do. you can talk to him about it 'til you're blue in the face but he wont listen. i know you want to protect him but sometimes you just cant x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
hes talking to me now on msn, telling me how much she actually said to him last night apprently he used to do everything for her but now he does nothing she really needs a new bikini for hol and hes not helping her (my mums already spent £80 on clothes for her for hol) shes just soooo mean its unreal! but apparently wen she asks him to do something he shudnt do it cos she'll eventually do it herself - which totally contradicts herself! hes asking me wot to do i havent got a clue what to say x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorjellytot
i dont think other people like your parents are helping her bratty behaviour by forking out £80 on holiday clothes. she sounds spoilt, and to be honest if shes getting away with it she has no reason to stop does she? you might find that if things do change, she might breakup with your brother herself (you can only hope). if i was in your position, i would be honest and tell him exactly how you feel, tell him that you love him and can see things arent right. but make sure he knows that no matter what he does, you will always be there for him to help pick up the pieces. the last thing you want to do is have him fall out with you x
CommentAuthorsabs
Unfortunately there isn't much that you can do for your brother except be there for him when it ends. If you force him to make a choice or keep telling him to dump her you be pushing the two of them closer together. Does she know about your grandad. It seems to me she is self centred and going be very high maintenanced to keep and isn't happy until everything is done for her and is done her way. Wheen you find yourself wanting to get angry and tell him to wake up just remember she will push him to far one day and he will finally come to his senses and break up with her. as regarding the holiday to France i think the way he is being treated by her and the family is downright disgraceful bet she wouldn't like it if she was told to get seperate flight to Egypt and then meet you somewhere which she didn't know and wasn't sure how to get too and i guarantee that her family wouldn't be happy so why they are doing this to your brother is beyond me. If there was no room in the car then why invite him. x x x x
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Well it wasnt so much of givin it to her as they treat us all (my h2b me my bro and her) to £80 each cos theyd won sum money at the casino! But i can see what u mean! Ive just sed that only him can decide what to do and im not going to force him to do anything but just to let him know that no1 will be annoyed at him if she doesnt end up coming on holiday with us - we just want him to be happy! x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorsabs
Tell him that nothing will ruin your holiday to Egypt whats the worse she can do not go on it ah well what a shame you will have a better time without her being there or dump him which meams he be free of her and be able to live his life and do things that he wants to do. The next thing she will do is tell him what friends he can and cannot see and when he is allowed to go out and hopefully by the time it comes to that he will see sense. x x x x
CommentAuthorNHR115
Oh hun I do feel for you and your brother. You are in an awful position when you can quite clearly see he is being used but if he doesn't want to see it right now then it may be best not to push it. You don't want to fall out with your brother over it as you both seem very close. xxx
