Girls I seriously neeeeeed to rant and get this out becaueif I don't I'm gonna explode, my head hurts so bad and I've had enough...


I'm so so so stressed you know, got the worst headache ever and it's all because of his blooming sister, she's a little **** and a diva... I've decided tht they're all having the same shoes because I can't trust her to get something appropriate, she seems to think she's going clubbing and that she is the centre of attention... She started textin me at midnight last night about "her shoes" this started last night...

Me:
Can I be honest???? I like some of what u found but I kindve what to keep a uniformity to y'all so perhaps either the same as Shel or something very similar... The ones Shel's got are lovely and tbh what I had in my head really... And your feet deffo wont slip in them... The heel is more appropriate or church too. If ur struggling for money as I told u previous Chris will pay... That's the item number...and they got your size babe x

Her:

See I saw the ones shes got but wasn't keen at all :/ did she not tell you? I know what you mean about the feet slipping tho cos they have decent straps just you had to understand your Shel is long and thin hahaha I'll look like a shorty dumpy mushroom so I need I wear something a tiny bit bigger cos I've tried on very small heels before and I just look horrendous :( I don't want massive don't get my wrong I wouldn't even ask for the height of the shoes I normally get cos that's too far. But like normal court shoes. Or like ivory satin ones. They can be quite pretty too don't you think? Xx

Me:

If I buy them will u wear them? After that when the dancing starts your can wear the other ivory ones I don't mind but for church and pics and the meal I'd like u to wear the diamente ones... Compromise??? X

Her:

It's not about the money. I just don't wanna spend te day feeling a show :( an I feel like I will because I know te way I feel about certain things. I'm really not trying to be a pain in the **** about it. Just I dot have the best look already and don't want to feel horrible on the day because I'm not happy about the way I look. I wanna be happy in all the pics and just be able to relax ad enjoy the day with you guys. I Havnt bought anythig yet. I'm gonna try some on this weekend because I have odd feet anyways so need to actually try them on even if I got those or others xx

Me:

I'm not trying to make u look like an idiot you know, u will look beautiful. Being bridesmaid isn't about just turning up and looking pretty (you will mind) but its about compromise too, which i feel i have... I know your not trying to be a pain in the ****... When I said yes to be bm for my friend she presented me with a list of dos and donts for her day, I went with it because it was what she wanted and I just put up and shut up... I haven't done that to u guys and I really would prefer it if u all wore the same shoe xxx

I got no reply so I sent this (to all three eventgough its at her) this morning:

Hi girls, I've been up until 2.30 this morning thinking about shoes! I've decided that everyone is wearing the same and I have now bought them. Because of the style of the dress the shoes need to match. if u wish to change u shoes in the evening for dancing that's fine but for church, photos and the meal (basically all the formal stuff) everyone is the same. You all agreed to be my bridesmaids and u should know what is expected, If anyone wishes to not be a bridesmaid that too is fine. I have more things to stress about than shoes! this is a lot to organise and i dont need extra stress, so now it's over, bought and done. I've never had a choice when I've been a bridesmaid and it is tradition that all bridesmaids match. Everyone will look beautiful and elegant on our day.... Thanks xxx

Got this:

Think that's a really out f order text to send especially because I know that's fully aimed at me. If you dot. Want me as a bridesmaid then just say, don't pussy foot aroun the fact
Me:

I don't really think it is out of order considering its my and Chris's day... If I didn't want you as bridesmaid, I would not have asked you in the first place... The shoes you were looking at we're not appropriate for what I want so I've saved hassle and stress of sorting it myself... It's up to u if you wanna be bridesmaid or not, I very much want u to because like I said I wouldn't have asked. The text was sent to everybody not just you... X

Her:

Yeah but it was obviously about me because Shel picked shoes she wanted and you've bought them for everyone else..... And there only lucy and Betsy who will be wearing different shoes anyways and Lucy hasn't said much at all about anything so was probly just waiting to get them so let's be honest because I'm not stupid, that was abkut me. I don't see how I've caused you so much stress tbh. All I've said is can I wear normal heels.... Even plain ones and you've just gone an bough them so really your only bothered about what shel wants it seems. I'm just angry that you've sent a message like That....... Don't think it's right really and it's really wound me up. And we know it's yours an chrisps day! Noones said otherwise have they. Infact we've all helped where we can
I'll just talk to you another time abkut it anywaus because no point carrying on this convo is there really

I'm absolutely f'ing seething! How dare she think that I run to her time! The little witch, tell ya now my mum and dad are not impressed one little bit! And to mention Betsy! A 2 yr old child!!! Pathetic she is and tbh I don't want her as a bm anymore....

H2b is all for going over to sort it out but I am not running around after her!

It looks like a typical ballroom dancers shoe and when it catches the light it will look lovely, it will suit the dress too (which i love!!).

At the end of the day it's up to you what they wear, she sounds like she wants to stand out and feel good..anyone would think the day was about her the way she's talking!

Stick to your guns and don't chase her, i think she owes you an apology for being selfish, being a bridesmaid is a privileged and to be asked to be part of someones day should be an honour, she shouldn't be trying to get her own way.

x

Princess they're only off eBay lol

I'm just so stressed and I'm on tenterhooks waiting for round 2, I really don't have time for this shiz!

I'm glad you think I'm in the right because I feel so down today, I was on a high yesterday after paying balances and I posted the invites today and that was nice and now I feel rough as xxx

they're lovely and exact colour I'm having (if i don't change my mind again)

i wouldn't let her get you down too much like you say she only has to wear them for the formal bits and then she can change them maybe she'll realise how childish she's being in a few days xx

Agree with the other ladies. If you were having long, floor length dresses it wouldn't matter in the slightest because they wouldn't be seen. But because they are short they will be seen and should definitely match. The ones you've bought aren't exactly low, probably a similar height to the third ones she's chosen.

I have a word for people like this, spoilt. Exactly why my cousin was never even considered as one, because she's a brat!!!

I can totally picture her stomping her feet. I hope she doesn't ruin your day or photos now by pulling faces or not smiling...
I think she is out of order. Has she been a bridesmaid before?

While the shoes she has sent you are pretty - esp the ones on the far left - they are NOT going to go with the beautiful dress you have chosen and would have looked clumpy. They are also, a little bit more "bride" than "bridesmaid".

I think you have made the ABSOLUTELY right choice on this Miss Weedles!!

Marrying.Ryan- no she hasn't so that's why I think she's thinks she can go looking like a hooker!

Thanks girls I appreciate your support!

H2b didn't go over last because as far as I'm concerned its no longer an issue, either she's wears them and is a bm or doesn't and comes as a guest that way she can do what she bl00ming well likes! Lol... I think she will end up wearing them because I think she really wants to be a bm but she's just gonna have to go with the flow am afraid... I don't know what the in-laws say about it, I don't even know if they know but I don't care lol... I think it boils down to the fact she's jealous of my sis and moh (shel) and because she found the shoes too x

If there's round two today, ill let you all know...

No3 is the best of a bad bunch for bm shoes I agree...

It's not just the shoes it's the hair and makeup too lol that's what I mean by hooker x

I agree, I think you've done the right thing. I'm doing exactly the same with my bridesmaids and they are all wearing the same shoes. I'm taking them out shopping to see what they all agree on, but I'm having the final say in what they wear. If they want to change them in the evening, they are more than welcome, but I'm most certainly on your side with this one. You've given that option of changing, so it isn't like you have banned her from taking the shoes off all day! She sounds like a little girl wanting a toy she cant have, its stupid! x

Really feel for you on this one, esp when you have so much else to think about! Dont back down. You've been completely fair with her. I had a nightmare with bridesmaids being selfish and understand how you'll be feeling here xxx

That dress really needs matching shoes. The way she was going on I was thinking you wanted her in kitten heels lol.... I hink I'd of seen her point then lol, but that's a decent sized heel and lovely shoes

Quite frankly she would look an idiot and out of place in the ones she chose, not to mention the styles of them don't even really GO with that frock....!

Well done for taking the initiative, problem solved lol :)

Thanks girls!

I've seen mil2b this evening so I've explained and showed her the shoes and told her that's what they are wearing and I told her a little of what's going on so she is aware

Xxx

There never was gonna be a time to get my girls together, one lives in Scotland, one is studying everyday for exams (she very dedicated) and this bm just makes up stories about prior engagements. I did suggest to her to go today but she was busy helping he mum and dad with the car boot sale which we found was another story... Just had enough of it all...

Whilst I have to admit that I really don't like the shoes which you have chosen for them ( I prefer 2 and 3 to those but each to their own :)), I do agree with the stance you have taken on this. It is YOUR wedding after all and if they want to be part of it, they have to be on board with your ideas, theme, colour scheme etc and if a bridesmaid isn't happy to do whatever it takes for the day to be perfect in your eyes, then perhaps they should rethink being a bridesmaid altogether. I can see how it might seem unfair to her because she knows that one of the other bridesmaids actually chose them, so it will seem like shes getting special treatment and calling the shots but it sounds like that is what you envisaged them all wearing anyway, so she needs to understand that. I hope you can resolve this in the best way possible though because at the end of the day it would be a shame for families to fall out over something as trivial as shoes ;) Good luck

Just shows she is being stupid then doesn't it! I think she was just wanting attention. x

Well speaking to her tonight went summat like this:

At the beginning of the convo she goes well what about Betsys shoes? I said woah woah woah can I stop you there? She is a 2 year old baby, we ain't going there... H2b went over before to pretty much reitterate what I said and Betsy was mentioned again.. because apparently she will look silly and rediculous in a bridesmaid dress and H2b was like errr u for real?? She is a baby! As if she's gonna wear anything but a baby girls flowergirl dress!!!


nd she said 'it seems Moh is having more input than me and it seems like what Moh says goes' and I said well actually can I stop you there because moh is my sister and moh and seems the only one looking for shoes... She happens to find the ones that I liked, if it had of been you or Lucy who found them I'd have said the same! When Moh sent me them I thought ok great u wanted straps so u got them, why if u wanted straps did u send me pics of shoes without straps? And she said they were just ideas And wasn't gonna buy them and I said well why show me if u wernt gonna by them?! And she was like it was to show the heel height and I said to her well u wernt exactly clear where u? And it was going around in circles and I said to her I'm not asking your to wear them all day just the formal bits... And the she brings it back around to what she can't have.... Spray tans!!!! Ffs I said well if u want a natural tan, go on the beds but your right, no one is having a spray tan and then she goes well I'm gonna feel horrible, I don't like the shoes, I don't know how I'm having my hair but because I have extensions it's gonna take ages and I'm gonna be pasty and look short! So I just said if I thought you would look horrible in something do u think I'd make u wear it? So in the end she goes, fine I will wear what u want me to because its your day but I'm not 100% happy... An I said well never mind because everyone will be looking at me x

Phewf. Still annoyed with her.

O and apparently she hate her arms, shoulders, chest and back and that why shes not gonna feel comfy.. first I knew of it!!!! I said to her you do realise you all have a wrap to wear too? That shut her up!

Seems like there's no pleasing some people, eh? Sounds like attention seeking behaviour really. And you're right - everyone will be looking at you anyway :-)

Missweedles that made me giggle-nevermind...everyone will be looking at me! Well of course they will, does she not realise it's about the bride and not her. My sister is being fussy with dresses at the moment, tempted to just buy whatever and tell her tough t!tty!
The hairstyle looks lovely, she must have something wrong with her if she doesn't end up liking that either.
The attention seeking is awful, so child like, I'd have kicked her out of the lineup by now, you must have the patience of a saint!
xx

another update!

so the ba$t@rd shoes arrived today and theyre sH!z!!! really badly made, the "inner sole" coming un glued, the backs are wrinkled where the material hasnt been stretched properly and theyre covered in black marks!!! SO BACK TO BLOOMIN SQUARE ONE!!! on Sunday she, Lucy, lucys mum (my auntie), my mum and me are going to town to find something...... now my mum is pizzing me off because shes like "you better tell her not to start, if shes does ill be saying something!" im like erm no you wont because if you have any respect for me youll keep your bl00dy gob shut! lol seriously!!!!!!!!! im gonna end up facepalming myself in a minute!!!!

Oh no, really??? I can totally picture you sitting in the corner with your fingers in yours ears singing lalala while they fight it out. Best of luck.

she is still being a little so and so- latest one is h2b bought me hair extensions and they were £ at £100 and he said were only doing this once ill buy u them. Today is his mums 50th, and weve clubbed together to get her a watch so bewteen the four of us its £180-£200 but shes now decided she doesnt want a watch and wants the cash instead, fine. im on a sleep shift tongiht and not able to go out for the planned meal.

whilst at said meal this sister of his then proceeds to ask why he cant give more than £60 when hes just bought me extensions at £100 h2bs is like erm because i wanted too and there a lot for mum between us anyway. shes going on and on....

i swear one more thing and im gonna explode x

i cant stand her, if i had my time again there is no way idve asked her to be a bm x

I agree that everyone should give the same amount so if she wanted you guys to put in more then she should have suggested upping the amount before her Mum's birthday and not try to cause a scene during a family meal. Sounds like she's just doing what she can to get some attention... just accept she's going to be difficult all the way and try not to let it get to you.

Of course that's why she's doing it - perhaps (if your OH is as annoyed with her) you could write down each thing she says/does onto a piece of card and assign each with a points value then the two of you sit down, shuffle the cards then pick one, do a charade of what's on the card and then if he gets it wrong he has to do as many shots as the number you assigned to that card and if he gets it right then you have to do that many shots!