My mum really couldnt be bothered about our wedding and its really getting to me. When H2B first proposed I ran round to her house (she only lives nextdoor) all excited and showed her the ring and her reaction was a very sarcastic "oh great" followed by "dont expect me to get dressed up!". I've tried talking to her about wedding stuff and she really couldnt give a monkeys. She keeps telling me we should just run off and get married abroad somewhere or "go to the register office one afternoon and get it over and done with" and "not waste our money" with a wedding.
I mean I know me and my mum dont have the closest relationship but she's my mother, surely she could at least pretend to be a bit excited? :(
CommentAuthorMrsComiskey-2b
Would you not sit her down and speak to her about the way that you are feeling? x
I am in love with the most wonderful man in the world xxxx
"Let me share this whole new world with you "
Wedding Diet (lose so far)-16.5lb :)
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
my mum is happy for me but is quite similar in not being bothered! She's better now its so close but up until christmas she's been completely disinterested because it was 'miles away yet'. Perhaps she's like mine and its just because its quite a way off yet? xxx
CommentAuthorMrsSaraParry!
oh and the other thing with mine is that she thinks its silly spending so much money on one day, and can't understand why I'm paying for chair covers, a string quartet etc as 'that's not what they did years ago' xx
CommentAuthortinkerbell2013
edited
best thing u can do is share it with peple who do care and want to be involved with the wedding plans, dont talk to her about it or mention it around her, maybe then after a while she might feel left out and want to be involved with it...
sorry to hear that about your mm not nice at all, my sister inlaw has the same problem withher family and we have dont it togeather so she feels just as special, i know its not the same but dont let your mum spoil your special day xx
Finally Engaged 1/11/11
Loves my h2b and my son charlie 2 the moon and back
cant wait till we finally arrive at the big day
May 2013
I texted my mum about my engagement and she was all angry I didn't call her the moment it happened instead. I didn't cause I didn't think she'd be bothered or happy for me. True to expectations she not been interested in wedding planning at all, hasn't offered to help and is supposed to be visiting us to celebrate next month but when I asked recently if she still was she said "hopefully."
It is disappointing, as a bride you expect you mum to be really involved and excited for you. It sucks when she's not!
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthormcquire81
Awww what a shame, i really feel for you. My mum has been great but my h2b's mum has been pretty uninterested which i know annoys him sometimes. However, we have come in to this year she has perked up a little so maybe the closer you get to your wedding maybe she will get more excited? In the meantime try not to let it bother you or ruin what is supposed to be a magical and fun time... involve your friends and h2b's family instead! Good luck and i hope she comes around soon x
CommentAuthor~feebee~
Sounds a bit like jealousy to me but it's not nice :(
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthorA.Bird2b
My mum has been pretty disinterested. The first thing she said when I told her we were planning the wedding was "you know I'm not giving you any money for it don't you?" which was blatantly obvious because I'd just finished telling her what the budget was and that I had already put the money aside! I've tried to get her involved by asking her to come and look at dresses with me (she sat there and looked down her nose at everything, then said "its just ridiculous to spend all that money on a dress that looks awful anyway, just buy one off the high street", in front of the shop owner!) Then I asked her to help to organise the cars and she just said "you won't need cars, you're only getting married in the town, can't you just walk?" honestly I have given up all hope of her being a part of the day. I was going to have her as a witness but I think I'll ask my sisters instead.... I'll just put more energy into getting thing done on my own instead of trying to get her involved and having to do it all myself anyway!
CommentAuthorcakey
I hope your right and that she perks up a bit when it gets closer but i cant say I'm holding my breath!
CommentAuthorMrsowen2b
cakey i feel for you im in exactly ths same position except with both sides my mum and h2b family! h2b family think its me that wants the stately home etc when infact its h2b, i had to get him to compromise with a hotel that is a stately home rather than exclusive use. Yet his family still think its me even after telling them its him! and then his mum said to me our davids like me he likes to have his family there at big do's but yet she told us to go on a cruise ship on our own and get married!!
my mum when i told her i was engaged said "i know but guess what......i got engaged last night so i beat you to it" her bf wouldnt have proposed she would have said lets get married although she swore she never would!
mothers ay!
xx
CommentAuthorJillybean
OMG cakey im so glad you started this discussion! I am in the same boat!!!
I will keep this as short as poss lol...
I told my mum (who lives up north about 100mile away) about the engagement and she didnt (and still hasnt!!!) acknowledged it! no congratulations or a card or anything! I dont talk to her about wedding stuff persay, but drop it into convo and she quickly sweeps over it and moves on. We went to view the venue and I asked her and my dad to come (dad was working but she had day off) and she said it wasnt the right time. Oh im sorry, am i cutting into your chain smoking coffee drinking day!?
Then when i found my wedding dress, i sent pics out via email (making sure my mum was the first of course!) and then i rang her everyday for about a week saying you checked your emails yet because you need too, all excited and everything, and she was like no not yet. Then the last time i asked her she said she saw the email but didnt want to open it because she knew what it was and it wasnt the right time. WHAT! THE RIGHT TIME FOR WHAT! GRRRRrrr. All this has happened at a bad time for her.
Then last week i had her on the phone trying to convince me to leave h2b NOW before i make a big mistake because he is dragging me down...what!? what are you on about woman!? I haven't lost my cool with her yet, but ive found it best for me and h2b to carry on planning as we have been (as its our day afterall and will be happening whether she like sit or not!) and then when i speak to her i'll just drop in one or two plans that we've made and thats it.
That way im involving her every step of the way and she cant turn around on my wedding day and say shes missed out on the planning her only daughters wedding.
I'll have done my bit so i'll be guilt free and happy :-) if your not getting anywhere with ur mum hun, as much as it'll hurt, just carry on doing your own thing and planning. Cusiosity will eventually get your mums attention, thats what im hoping for with mine.
Much hugs, here if you need a rant xXx
Got together 18th December 2008
Engaged 19th November 2011
Getting married 20th June 2014
Venue is Manchester Utd Football Ground!!!
CommentAuthorsukiedoo
I have the same problem. Its my 2nd marriage and 1st time round my mum totally dominated the plans. I didnt get anything I wanted, as they were paying. This time Sean told my parents outright that we are paying for everything, even tho my dad then insisted on contributing half. (we're not going to let him pay half, just 25%). The only thing my mum has been interested in is why we're waiting so long (only 18months actually), and despite me saying its so we can save, she persists on asking. I asked her the other weekend to come dress window shopping with me, she blatantly wasnt interested, so Im afraid I lost my temper and told her not to bother. I feel shes sulking cos we said we want to pay so we can have what we want this time. Thing is, i know on the day she'll be swanning round saying "my daughter this, my daughter that" and taking credit for the day. Grrr
4/4/2013 I'm marrying my true love, blending two families
A dream come true
CommentAuthorJill
Aww hun :( my mum wasnt particularly interested in mine to start but if I'm honest, I dont take kindly to her opinion anyway so probably best I do it myself lol I've involved her in the dress shopping but stopped that because she had her heart set on one dress - once my mums decided she cant even think of anything else, it's always 'but this would look good this way' and 'hmmm i'm thinking the first one this or that'... I can see it coming before she opens her mouth! She has made more of an effort recently - she's overjoyed that I'm marrying barry... she thinks he's the best (and she's right of course :) ) but I mostly just tell her about things once they're planned and dont ask for an opinion lol x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
My Mum was a little like this to start with and some comments she made, I was like WTF!!!!!! For example I asked her if she would be staying in the hotel with me the night before, as we marry in a different county and she was like 'no I'm getting ready at home' I just said 'are you serious? I'm your only daughter and this is my 1st and only marriage, you should have been dreaming of this day since the day I was born!!!!', we are very dramatic in our family lol. As we are getting nearer to the day she has totally changed and has even booked the week off before the wedding, which I do think is a bit extreme lol. It might be that they will have more interest the sooner it gets or you may have to involve people who are interested in your plans.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorJill
Lisa I feel like that sometimes with my mum - I'm her only daughter, and her first born, and her first child to get married. The thing is though, we do clash... I dont love her any less, I'd just love for us to have the kind of relationship where we get on well and want to spend lots of time together, but we dont so that'll be that lol x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorcakey
I'm glad I'm not alone in having a useless mum! I wouldnt mind but I'm not only her only daughter but her only child in general and she absolutely adores H2B so its not like she has a problem with the marriage itself. I just dont understand how she can care so little! When my son grows up and gets married I'll be lucky not to burst with excitement!
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
It's a shame. I have one son and I worry that I will be the mil2b from hell when he marries, because I will want to be involved in everything!
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorJill
I'm the same! h2b's mum is really enthusiastic. Infact, I think she tries to restrain herself quite a bit, I'm sure she'd love to be coming to all the dress appts and helping choose EVERYTHING lol x
29th September 2012
Cant wait to be Mrs D!
CommentAuthorSweetchilli
Aww that must be hard for you, everyone wants there Mum to share there excitement. Shame on her. I wouldn't discuss anything about your wedding with her now and let her ask you. Hopefully she will come round when she realises how horrible she has been to you.
CommentAuthorkirsty91
My mum is also disinterested. She only lives a 10 minute drive away, and I've seen her a grand total of once in the past month. Everytime we plan to meet, she cancels. She even didn't turn up to my 21st birthday. The only wedding thing she cares about is she wants me to wear her old wedding dress (no way!) When I spoke to her, all she went on about is how we should runaway abroad and get married - doesn't she even wanna be there???
As for h2b's family, they are doing my head in. Always going on at me about how they would prefer if we had a cheap wedding and put our money into our house. This is not what we want. We want all our family and friends there, and would like a stately home/exclusive hotel (i think they think this is all me) but if it was up to h2b we'd be getting married in a castle!
Got together 24/03/2006
Engaged 02/01/2012
To be wed 13/09/2013
Kirsty and Ian xxxxxxx
CommentAuthorTsukijin
edited
Lol no one gives a stuff about mine, especially not my Best friend who is also moh as understandably she's just been dumped. But that's why I come here :3
I do wish my mum was here to share my excitement though :(
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthormadhen
feel so sorry for you guys! is there any chance some of the mums are afraid of interfering too much so they're going completely off in the other extreme and steering clear altogether? my mum's not a girly type of person at all, and isn't into parties and dresses and the whole shebang, so i was kinda tentative about asking her to even go to a bridal fair with me in case she thought it was stupid! she's coming, but i'd say there could be fireworks, she's very sure of what she thinks is nice and usually our opinions don't match so i get the feeling there could be bumpy moments ahead... cakey and jillybean you seem to be having a really crappy time of it. is there some reason for the behaviour do you think? did anything happen at her own wedding mmaybe?!!? i know that sounds completely off the wall but there has to be SOME good reason why a woman wouldn't want to be involved in her daughter's wedding day...
CommentAuthorJEm1905
OMG Ladies im in the same boat with my "mum". Sister got engaged im demanded to buy her a congratulations card.. mum puts heap of cash in her card.. i get engaged not even a congrats :S My wedding is 2 weeks before hers our invites were sent out first.. yet mum seems to think im being awkward by wanting her to come. Even though i told her we dont want a gift and she has dresses nice enough already. I still think she is so against it because im marrying a women and my sister is straight with a little boy blah blah blah.
Glad to know im not alone.. MIL at first never wanted to speak about it, never even opened her invite but when its just me and her alone in a room i always mention the wedding and she has actually started to talk to me about it. Mothers are strange things.
Got together - 19th May 2009
Our Civil Partnership - 19th May 2012
Waiting to re-Marry my Princess Legally
CommentAuthorcakey
My mum has never been married so I think that might be part of the reason. She's never had the excitement of having her own wedding so doesnt understand how exciting it is for me. In her eyes its just a very expensive way to sign a bit of paper and get drunk! Also she is like your mum madhen and really not girly in the slightest so I didnt really expect her to get excited about the dress and stuff like that. Infact when I mentioned wedding dresses she said "Well you dont want a big white dress do you, thats not very you at all!" so she clearly doesnt know me very well!
CommentAuthormadhen
ah maybe that's part of it then - maybe she's even a teeny bit jealous? and duh, of course you're gonna want a big white dress!!!
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
My mum loves my h2b like a son and can't wait for us to marry but sometimes I get fed up with her making jokes about us eloping and getting a quickie marriage. She flits between getting irate with me because I don't see the point of spending a fortune on fancy cars if I'm getting ready at the hotel where we're getting married to pulling faces when I tell her how much I'm spending on shoes. I think there is something underlying with her but I'm determined that we are not going to fall out over it. You have plenty of people here to talk weddings to cakey so don't worry about your mum, I'm sure she'll come round nearer the time. x
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorTaz
I'm another one with a disinterested mum. Mine believes she's right about everything & has told me it won't last so I'm wasting money (oh forgot to say she's "psychic" which is how she knows all this!!). Needless to say in her eyes I'm in the wrong job (I actually love my job!!) working is the wrong county, & wasting a large part of my life on a man who has got what he wants in life (in her opinion not mine). Needless to say I don't to talk to her about the wedding plans & have stopped talking to my sister about them as well (separate rant altogether that one!!) Anyway I had some good news today - the car I set my heart on at the weekend is available for my date so I've booked it!! Really excited at the moment & the only person I can share it with apart from you girls is my OH. Sorry if I've hijacked your rant cakey hope all our disinterested mothers come round before the big day!!!!
CommentAuthorjocelinetex
i gave up hope with my mother ages ago, both me and rach have ploblems with are parents but i think they will turn up to the wedding because they dont want to look bad infront of the rest of the family x
starting weight 20 stone 6 lbs
weight loss to date 6 stone
current weight 14 stone 6lbs
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
both my parents have passed so i've just got his bloody mother to deal with. she has NEVER brought it up in coversation and only has one word answers regarding it. she actually changed the subject when i was MID-SENTENCE!!! i can't stand her now. i really can't. it gets me so angry coz i know if my mum was here, she would've been in her element.
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorLegoWife
We need a "not bothered mums" support group lol.
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorkrissy905
I'm in the same boat as you kisy both my parents have passed to and his mum would prefer us to run off to gretna green or have a quickie marriage she married h2bs step dad and it was just her and her mum and dad as witnesses and h2b and his brother. she doesn't see the point of a big marriage and as pointed out in several texts that she thinks h2b would prefer a Small wedding (we only invited just over 30 people each and all mine are family). she did send a bottle of wine and a card with his brother the other day her way of say she wasn't coming to grace us with her presents on Friday for the hour she usually visits.
wouldn't mind so much but shes had her bungalow up for sale for 2 years and was getting upset about it not selling. so h2b deiced to buy it to let out so she can buy the new one she wants the fact i gave him a very large deposit a lot more then h2bs mortgage will be to pay for it still any made her happy so i think I'm giving up and past caring now bloody in laws do my head in.lol
CommentAuthorMrsDanks
Families are very strange arent they?! My mum has always acted slightly distant and seems to think that she can pick me up when she feels like it and leave me hanging the rest of the time. She will talk about the wedding very briefly but then seems to want to change the subject quickly after constantly telling me that she wont be paying for anything as she cant afford it. I wouldnt mind but firstly I havent actually asked her for any help but secondly she goes abroad 5 times a year and goes on golfing weekends all the time during the summer, so why she thinks she can complain about money problems is beyond me! Rant over!!
CommentAuthorcakey
Labelle I know that feeling too, but not with my mum, with my dad. He's by no means rich but he's a damn sight better off than us and the rest of the family yet the first thing he said when I told him I was engaged was "well dont think i'm paying for some big stupid wedding!" Where as at least with my mum she might not be very excited about it but she has offered to contribute even though she cant afford it.
CommentAuthorKellyD
Omg I'm in exactly in the same position. My mam seems like she doesn't care at all. I go to tell her stuff and she changes the subject like she's not interested. She asked where I was getting the money from as she wasn't providing any even though I never asked her too and I've never asked her for anything before. She keeps tellin me to go abroad and not waste my money as she wants a holiday out of it. I'm hoping that she'll become more involved later I just don't get her half the time, you'd think she'd be over the moon x
Marrying the perfect guy!
Need to Loose 3 Stone! So Far = 2 stone 5lb
CommentAuthormadhen
holly i think you're right, we should found one!! i thought my mum was bad for not liking my choices half the time but i see know i'm lucky she's at least interested... feel sorry for you guys :( :(
CommentAuthorMrsDanks
Cakey - Thats exactly the thing that bugs me because she knows that we all struggle and I havent been able to afford a holiday in years but she is always complaining about money struggles - get a grip! OH'S mum on the other hand is trying to help out where she can and she has no money whatsoever. My dad is out the picture completely though as he has let me down on a whole other level, and not just the once (long story so wont bore you lol). Feel bad that its all one sided with OH mum helping out but theres nothing I can do. xx
CommentAuthormadhen
somehow it's always the ones who don't have much themselves who are prepared to do everything they can to help, isn't it?
