Wedding Forum - Mothers...

awww hun thats not good.
i do like my mil2b. she a lot different to what im used to though. my family are very open and huggy and stuff and h2b family arnt which im not used to. but i do love going out with them and gong to theirs and feeling part of a family
(fyi my rents have been split up for 15 years and never get invited to spend time with my brothers and sisters and that side of my family)
so its nice to have that so yeh i do love them all we always have a laugh xxx

Men's mothers are a funny ol' thing!! It's the feeling that no one will ever be good enough for their son. But ur h2b does need to grow a pair & tell her how it is. It may seem harsh to her but it needs to be said & if it's left too long, it may come out in the wrong way after it being bottled up for so long. My MIL is a funny thing too, she's a compulsive liar, don't get me wrong, she's lovely but we've had a few 'disputes' before a while ago when me & h2b got our staffy puppy & she got one too (the sister of ours) & we knew she wouldn't look after it but there was nothing we could say/do to change her mind & then when she did get it, she barely walked it, fed it pasta & 'human' meals, rather than dog food, so I told her how it was & she was quite vile & said to me that 'I have to control everything & tell everyone what to do' which, quite frankly, is BULLshhh! But luckily, my h2b stood up to her & said she was in the wrong & he's always stood up to me with her. Apart from that though, she's been fine, we do get on well but as Jordan said, she's different to what I'm used to. All part of the fun of getting married hey :) Oh & needless to say, she hasn't got the staffy anymore, she gave it away after a few months, which we were really angry about!! xx

Dont get me wrong, I do like her, but sometimes shes just funny with me for no reason and usually I'm the type of person who likes to "ask" what their problem is, but with her its a million times different, dont want to say a word round her because she just uses everything against me, I put that gas/electric/tv/water on and I needed h2b's bank card that day (was also my 21st bday) she turns round and says to h2b "why has SHE got your bank card"?! Is there a need?! We have 2 kids and have been together what feels like forever, by the end of her crusade I ended up crying more with temper cause I was shocked at myself for letting her speak to me that way and angry at him because he just sat there, he does stand up to her, but I think he just lets it go because, she doesnt take no for an answer, she tries to make something out of nothing and he always says to me "just agree with what she says or you wont see the end of it"... but its just annoying living like this! You girls are lucky :P xx

Oh, she is just driving me close to insanity MrsA-J xx

:O you are joking?! That is absolutely disgusting, I think if that were me, that would have been the VERY last straw mentioning anything about my kids! To be honest, it wont take long til we get to that point, cause she doesnt even like the idea we are getting married, thinks her son is too good for me and deserves better, which I do agree with as he is brilliant, but I love him and he loves me and he will be with me forever whether she blooming likes it or not :P xxx

lala thats disguisting!
Cant believe anyone cud wish that on kids!

lol! Yeh let the steam out...i go an bitch to the mil about the step mil haha

I love it cos she bitches back....then the OH joins in haha

haha feel free to rant!

x

Sadly my mil2b is deceased. She died before I met him :-( he talks about her all the time and its very sad because I'm almost due our first baby and its a little girl and we are giving her her grandmothers first name as one of her middle names.

One of the first things he said to me when we found out I was pregnant was "I wish my mum was here she would be loving this". It made me cry. I think a lot of you girls are lucky really because trying to support a fiancé and father to be who is still grieving over three years later is really tough at times.

I love my soon to be MIL!

Shes brillaint, she listens to my moans about the boy and laughs about it as well as hes so much like his dad haha! I absolutely love my SIL2B as well, we are so alike, the boy was saying, ohhh shes so loud and this that and the other, she drives me insane! ....actually, you are quite alike! haha!

So yeah, I get on with MIL and the rest of the family! I love his sister to bits,we get on famously, and im not afroad to say to his mum like, ohhhhhhhh!!!!! tom wont listen blah blah blah, and then im like, well, i do it anyway, and she just laughs and says thats him all over, you either just do somehign, or, plant the seed in his mind and he will think its his idea and that its amazing xD

Im marrying into a wonderful family and i cant wait

Yous are making me feel worse, all getting along! :( oh man! My MIL2B wont even talk to me on the house phone haha, so now I have caller display activated so I dont have to answer when I know its her calling and i just turn the answering machine off, cause, she just phones and breathes down the phone doesnt even hardly speak, shes got nothing to say, when I first fell pregnant, I got the sl** and sl** words and so on, she just wasnt impressed, mainly because H2B works and she knew he wouldnt be giving her mhand outs all the time, bearing in mind, she has 3 kids to 3 different dads and was trying to have her 4th, I dont mind mothers who have kids to different dads but I do when shes not actually brought any of them up, they were just left with there nanna who I absolutely love, I love my H2B's nanna, shes fab and his sister and brother, the only one I have problems with is his mum! Feel like moving country sometimes! xx

I love my MIL2B - she is quieter than what I am used to and hasn't really got involved with the wedding as she 'hates to interfere' (her words) but she was delighted when we got engaged. We have two children and she is a fantastic grandma, really helped out with childcare when I decided to go back to university at 29! She is always apologising for Andy's bad habits e.g. leaving dirty socks next to the bed (when the clothes basket is just outside the bedroom) and leaving shoes NEXT to the shoe rack - she's always like 'Sarah I really did try with him!!' I love going there for xmas as it is so relaxed and I really feel at home.

She did make one comment about the wedding which i wasn't keen (why on earth would you spend that much money on a wedding) but I could see that she regretted saying it straight away and after all she is welcome to her opinion.

Sarah xxx

I love my mil2b she's really lovely.... BUT do not get her started on her health! Hypercondriac!

I love my mil and fil to bits - h2b is a bit of a mummy's boy though and I think she was a bit wary at first because of the age difference, but now we get on great and spend a lot of time together.

She's been very poorly this last year after suffering total kidney failure, and it was such a horrible thing, we thought we were going to lose her, I've never seen someone look so ill. She is now on dialysis four times a week and is going from strength to strength.
Xx

You must be one of the unlucky ones :( she's prob nit-picking at you because she cares for her son! Apart from the little incident mentioned earlier, me & MIL get on really well & when we used to live near her, we'd go & see her everyday without fail. Mum's can be a pain but you only get one, so try speak to ur h2b & ask him to politely speak to his mum? xx

Well she has 3 kids, and 2 of them dont bother nor respect her and I think its cause Darren was the only one who put up with her sh*t! She went absolutely off it with him, he bought her a £150 coat for her bday and couldnt find a birthday card so he bought a blank one abd wrote in it and she went crazy cause it wasnt a proper birthday card!?! Am I missing something here? xx

and Joanna, its good to see Im not the only one, everyone seems to get on all fine and dandy, feel like Im the only one in the world who doesnt get along xx

haha, well at least now, you know youre not :P ha ha x

I cannot stand my future mother-in-law, but I adore my future mum-in-law.

If you're feeling bemused, let me explain...

H2B's mother is a b*tch. She upped and left FIL2B and their four sons, when H2B (who is the youngest son) was just 3-years old ( his brothers were 5 and twins, 7) leaving them for a Frenchman she met on a two-week holiday with her sister. She has lived in Bordeaux ever since (even though she and this man broke up a couple of years later). Her reason for leaving was, "I've decided married life and children are not for me."

H2B and his brothers have seen her once a year (on average) since then. They have to make contact with her, she doesn't ever contact them. She sends them birthday cards and that, but she doesn't sign them mum, she signs them with her first name.

I've met her about four times in total, and I cannot stand her, she's emotionally cold. The first time I met her, she said to H2B (about me), "you've made a safe choice." WTF?! When Ed asked her what she meant, she replied by saying, "well she's middle-class, privately-educated, well-spoken and has a good background. Just the kind of girl I thought you'd end up with, because she's just like you. Thus a safe choice." What do you say to that?!

H2B's mum is actually his step-mother, who FIL2B met 18 months later, and she has been a constant in the four boys' lives ever since. She's an amazing lady, she really is. She never had children of her own, because FIL2B made it clear from the start he didn't want more children, but she always said she doesn't need biology to make Ed and his brothers her sons. We get on really well, I think I like her more than my own mum. (Perhaps I shouldn't have said that).

As for the wedding, Ed wants to invite his mother, but she won't be part of the wedding party. Ed's mum will be the MOfG on the day, as she was for Ed's brothers' weddings.

I don't like my MIL ... she's selfish, interfering and everything must be about her. She says she's scared to say anything just a tiny bit negative to any of her daughters in case she is stopped from seeing her grandchildren, but seems to think it's fine to talk to me like I'm something on the bottom of her shoe! And she has her opinions (which is fine) but won't discuss anything with anyone ... if you disagree with her it ends up in a big fight - she won't agree to disagree.

Yeah ... I mostly just put on fake smile and ignore her now. Luckily Dan sees her for what she is and does stick up for me. And I don't talk about anything important in front of her or her family. The latest thing they're all asking me about if we're going to have kids ... well WE haven't decided yet so they need to be asking him as well!

Holy Sh*t! i never realised i was this lucky you poor ladies having to deal with such Cr*p!
my MIL is quite pleasant! very different to my family were all a little bit crazy and outgoing shes much calmer god help her on the hen she'll think were all demented x

You're not the only one! My mil2b is an absolute nightmare too :-/ x

Yous are so lucky! That's half the battle really! Haha. Xx

Oh my - some of these MIL's sound horrendous!!!! :(

I am quite lucky with mine - while she likes very much to get involved on everything - she has a good heart and she always has the best intentions!

You ladies must be a lot stronger than me - I think if my MIL were like this it would really ruin a relationship!! Keep your chin up girls...even though at times it may seem impossible!!

xxxx

eeeeek the dreaded 'H' word - to be fair it sounds like she deserves it the way shes acting!! xxxx