After a week of stress with thanks to the mothers, and a week of "I don't want to get married anymore" as a result, I'm now trying to pick myself up and get myself back into the "this is fun" spirit.
Anyone else had stress from family members with regards to "helpful" advice they like to give?
My mums been on at me as I haven't given her anything to do so she feels excluded even though I have explained there just isn't anything at the moment and I expect this to change in the run up to the day.
Then there is the MIL basically telling my H2B what he should wear on the day. "You don't want to wear that, you need to have this, don't have that colour, make sure you this blah blah blah". He is quite influenced by his mother and she knows this. I responded with "I think you should go in with an open mind and try them both then decide" and she piped back at me "I just think you're trying to be controversial!". His along with comments such as "what bombshell are you going to drop on me now" re the wedding since we haven't invited the 3 yo fam friend I previously posted about.
Joyous
I stand my ground but it doesn't help me not get stressed by it. Especially because both parents are helping us out and because my partner has a tendency to agree with everything both mums say to keep them happy so that when it's not what materialises, I look like the bad guy! He has been told! Haha
From now on though I have decided to take a leaf out of his book and agree and deal with the fall out if and when it happens!
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
Mine wasn't so much family as one of my BMs... she tries to be helpful with her opinions but sometimes runs away with herself and doesn't realise that she is maybe taking it too far. In her mind weddings should be traditional so my very un-traditional ideas sometimes grates on her. Most the time I let it fly but other times I will set her straight if I am feeling like they're forgetting it's my day no someone elses.
I know what you mean by the stress part though. I've started just turning off phone and going for long walks with the dog on my own where I can just clear my head.
Met in Nov 2005
Engaged 13th June 2013
Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
ohhh hun ... i had my mother say ... couldn't you just go get married in a registry office and then we could go to a pub for a meal and his mother refusing to come if we didn't have his nieces as bridesmaids
we booked what we wanted ...and his mother didn't come ( wasn't invited in the end ) and now doesn't speak to me and has minimal contact with hubby
Oh thank goodness its not just me - I have been worrying lately that due to all the fall outs with FMIL and my mum that maybe I was being a bit too pretentious and have got to the stage of wanting to call the whole thing off (I have 15 days to go) but I have figured out its MY day (well mine and his but you get what I mean) and if they dont like it tough! I am sick of doing what is best for everyone else and forgetting what the whole day is really about and that is me marrying the other half of me, my best friend and my soul mate.
I havent done anything out of the ordinary, its been done as cheaply as possible and I think that what I have done will be a true reflection of both of us.
AH86 do not let anyone interfere - ask their opinions but remember that it is just an opinion and you can take it or leave it.
lala - my FMIL is not coming our wedding either
Keep smiling and remember that its about the two of you - your the ones that have to live together afterwards when both MIL and mum are busy with their own lives again.
CommentAuthorAH86
I'm very fortunate to have a very helpful sister in law who got married to my brother 7 years ago and knows what my mum was like then. She promised me on that day that when it's my turn she will take care of my mother haha. So as she is making our cake she has said she will ask her opinions on cake ideas to occupy her at the moment. As for FMIL, she accepts that as she is mother of the groom she does not have quite so much input but where she can get her claws in it seems she is. I'm not too worrie about offending her if we don't do it her choice of ways (that sounds horrible I know!). I kind of think its time she learnt to let her baby grow up and this can be a good way of showing her that we will listen but her son no longer is her baby and is a 34 year old man who can make up his own mind as well as now having another influencing force (to be reckoned with ;)) in his life!
I'm so glad I'm not alone in how I have been feeling but nikki, I have got to say that I really hoped this feeling would be gone by the time I got to 2 weeks away! Not long now though and you get to enjoy all of your hard work :)
Victoria, walks with no phone sounds like a good idea. I may copy you!
And Lala, it sounds like she is best out of your lives acting like that! Good on you for sticking to your guns
X
Friday 10th April 2015
Marrying my best friend
Not long now :D
weve had MEGA issues with MIL, we've all made up since, but it got unbearable! threatening not to come etc because she felt 'excluded' she made it all a massive big deal when we were happy enough to just say we want this or that, and she was expecting to have big organising kind of events ....and just....well...no, not my thing, really and she took that as though we didn't want them there. it got ridiculous. shes leaving us to it now, which tbh, she should of done in the first place... I was happy enough to involve them (though apparently I didn't at all, dunno what the shopping trips were about or taking her advice on board then!) but when I kept getting negative reactions, I just thought EFF it il do it my own way and not bother involving you in anything!
it really really kicked off about 6 weeks ago and the whole thing was nearly called off because it was doing my head in that much. She came round to clear the air last week, though said I don't understand why you are having a big wedding if you aren't involving the family... you might as well have just had a small wedding in a registry office or something
don't see the logic myself. we don't want to make a big deal over planning it, so don't have the venue we want?
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
My mil is lovely and we have no issues ... Only prob is that sometimes if you mention anything her and fil can put a dampener on it... Prime example ... Honeymoon booking, everywhere we suggested came with a reply of 'ooh you don't wanna go there...blah blah blah' so we would just start booking things from then on without discussing it,the only place they thought we should go is Italy,but like with anything else everyone has different opinions, so we just booked jamaica and told them after lol...
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
I'm still gutted that I won't be in Jamaica when you are there
