Good afternoon Richard!

You have 8 months to save towards your wedding, maybe you should ask your parents if they want to fund something towards it, and you'll pay for the venue, that way you will have some semblance of control over it?

Obviously we don't know your circumstances, perhaps saving for it yourselves is not an option, but for me, having my parents being in control of my wedding, is my worst nightmare wedding wise!! Perhaps if you source your local area price wise for Photographers so you have a good handful of options to show her where she can see, "Oh wow, they are expensive" and show her comparatively the price of the camera you are looking at, it might be a lovely wedding gift a few of your family members and potential guests can contribute to!

At the end of the day, you and Debbie need to enjoy your day, not what someone else envisions your day should be. HUGS and hope you find a way to sort it out.

Unfortunately, often where a parent is contributing they seem to assume it buys them a portion of 'wedding control'....Best way to combat this is to give them something they can be 'in charge' of....making the invitations, sourcing the cake etc, making the decorations which means they will feel involved and hopefully back off.

Friday weddings are becoming quite popular, we are having one and it hasn't caused any major problems for people - a lot of people work shifts and weekends now so will maybe have to book time off to attend anyway - most of my guests really like the idea of a Friday wedding, as it means those that do work mon-fri normally still have the whole weekend, so it's worked out quite well.

Personally, I think it would cost more to get a decent quality camera than a photographer. We were quite daunted by the cost of the photographer however we have managed to find one that we loved for £350 for four hours, which covers prep to the wedding breakfast, so shop around! Also, it is a particular skill, taking wedding photos, and I'm not sure youll get the results you want with a guest taking the pictures...I would really recommend against it.

Above all though, don't let them dictate to you what you should or shouldn't do - it is yours and your wife to he's day, after all.

Xx

Hey...

Parents funding the wedding does mean one thing - they do get a big say!

That's not to say you can't influence or compromise.

My advice would be the following. Bump up the £3000 with your own contributions.

Me and fiance have been putting £20 each in our "wedding fund" pot since we got engaged. In addition, we're paying for the photog ourselves. Asking a friend or family member or non -professional could have devastating consequences if it goes wrong, you have nobody accountable really legally unless you are paying them and have a written and agreed contract. There are plenty of inexpensive photographers that could cover the essentials for you at the cost of the camera... They would be there just for the ceremony and part of the reception. Ask for a discount and ask for a digital images only package. Use the quote me service on here.

I would NOT use disposable cameras as a primary source of your photography. People who get drunk will take them away or people will take rubbish photos... could be an expensive waste!

Loads of people will be taking their cameras and you could always add a note on invites for them to bring them and feel free to snap away all day! Put signs on the tables or however you're doing things.

For a venue... try looking at village/parish halls, they're not normally expensive and you could go down the very chic but inexpensive vintage style tea route with home made canapes being served and sandwiches, with tables for people to go down and sit down, decorate inexpensively with artificial flowers and tissue paper, plus lighting made from jam jars and paper doyleys (you can get about 20 for 45p at Wilk0s and jam jars you can collect from friends and family and yourself! Tea lights are inexpensive but can look beautiful at night.

Wedding dresses... look online, look for second hand, look for sample sales etc etc.

Go for fewer in the bridal party as its less to kit out, or ask the lads to wear their own suits in a common colour and buy the tie and hanky or something like that for them to provide a unified look.

Ask a friend, or bake your cake yourself!

Other alternatives I've seen are cheese cakes- where rounds of cheese are stacked on top of each other... try a place like C0stc0 to source them!

C0untry baskets is a great place to source flowers and wedding decs.

Make jam for favours - go out around this time of year blackberry and apple picking and all you need then really is sugar and a bit of lemon plus jars and something to decorate them ( jars are about £25-£35 for 100-140 online - I reccomend new ones for safety-glass can shatter when has been stressed thermally multiple times, and for hygiene!)

Make your own disco... see if friends have some lights you can borrow for a disco or if you have a pal that can do it even better, or ask a friend in a band if they'll do it as a wedding gift... other than that - most places have PA systems you can hire and play music through a laptop or ipod / mp3 on!

Loads of ideas for you... you deffo can do it within budget but if you can also afford a bit yourself and agree a payment plan with vendors, you'll be able to get the things you want so long as you have time in your favour!

Above all... don't settle for anything you're not happy with, and always ask for a discount, and make sure its their best price... I have paid for very little full price... got my venue for free, about £300 off my dress, got my shoes at less than half price, bridesmaid dresses I got 10% off brand new line/stocks from C0@ST, 10% offphotography, a better deal with my catering than originally asked - not a specific decrease in percentage. Also bought floral / decoration stuff in the sales, shoes for bridesmaids in the sales, bartered with Debs for the menswear - got them initially at price of inferior outfit, then got one set free, then waivered the £7.50 insurance, then took 10% off too (probably our best haggling!). Aunty is making my cake- will be quite simply decorated but I have made my cake topper so that's fine!

We're making homemade/grown rhubarb and ginger jam and home produced honey in jars for our wedding favours, I've made all my flowers other than My bouquet, made my centre pieces...

You can do this! Add me!

midweek wedding are so good for budget concious, but like others have said try to save as much as possible so you have a say, but your parents paying theres no getting away from the fact that they feel they should have a say and coz its their money , its easy for them to turn around and say "were not paying for that"
whats the big rush to get married anyway, if you leave it an extra year you will have extra time to save and even if you manage to save a £1000 that will give you more imput as you can say well i want it and its our money! we have been saving since xmas just gone and have worked out by saving £20 a week we can save just about £3000 for out wedding in 2 years time, and thats coz we are on a tight budget, when our car gets paid off in january, will be able to save an extra 100 a month on top.

Photographers are cheaper midweek too! ;)

Sorry!

If your mam is paying 3,000 towards the wedding then you could have the venue you want for 1,000, have you thought about where your getting married? Church/ registry is not much difference in price, with that in mind you could book eiether for say 400, hoot graphs can be expensive but there are many deals out there ESP Friday weddings so say 600, you have 1,000 left you could use to hire suits? Flowers? Decorating venue. You have 8 months to then chip in ( both if you) for other things you would like, I know you said to buy a camera but to be honest professional cameras are £££ my moh hubby has one it cost 1500! So you could get a top wedding photo package for that good luck x

I think valentine has covered it all, she has some great tips there!

Just going to add two things. As for the budget, is there any way you and w2b could contribute some as well so you can have a bigger budget? And as for the photos, I agree that it will cost more to buy a really good camera than to hire a pro for just the important bits (ceremony then after for group shots) and get the CDs on a disc only. I wouldn't ask a friend to take the photos as the friend will probably want to be enjoying the day, and also there is a difference in quality between amateur and professional and IMPO, the photos are one of the most important parts of the day as they will last forever.