AGGGHHHH!!! IM finding my mother-in-law so difficult!
I took my fiance's parents and mine to see our Venue today. My Fiance and I are both Zoologists and like eco-friendly. We love the countryside and nature etc. We have chosen to get married in a venue which is totally set-up for weddings (its all they do) but they grow all their own food (including the bacon and eggs!) and have their own nature reserve etc. The house is a big old Jane Austen style farm house, we get married in a beautiful wooden beamed building with a really long aisle then have the reception in a STUNNING barn, all Oak beams etc.
The birdal suite is gorgeous, set out on two levels and the rooms have all just been done. Most of our friends are students, and most are UK scuba divers so often camp when we go off diving. They are also generally skint (as students tend to be). So the venue also have a camping area where they can camp for a fiver! It also has restored romany caravans. Its all perfect for us and our friends. Its excatly what we could want and they have thought of EVERYTHING. Including things like umbrellas in each area in case of rain for guests.
They do 120 weddings a year and have won 6th best wedding venue in the country.......All sounds amazing right!? ANd we LOVE IT!!!
Not so for the mother-in-law. She wanted us to get married in a hotel. SHe is claiming "you'll get filthy on this farm yard", for a start its not a farm yard AT ALL! Secondly would they have won so many awards (voted for by brides) if the brides all got filthy?! She doesnt think the accommodation is suitable. She doesnt think the food we've chosen is suitable. She doesnt approve of quilts on the beds, it should be sheets. She doesnt like the distance her family have to travel (even though its slap bang between the two sets of family and only 45mins away). She doesnt like the fact that theres gravel on the floor. She thinks the tiles in the ceremony room could be a problem for ladies shoes. She doesnt think we've given her enough time (a year) as she is "not an average size" so it will take her a year to find a suitable dress". I dont think she's happy with my choice of colour as it means she cant wear that colour and its one of the only colours that suits her. She doesnt think people will be able to come as its a friday (all our friends are students, they'd come if it was mid week!). She sees positive the weather will be too bad for phots outside, and she cant possibly have a room with a bath rather than a shower.
I find her so difficult, she is ALWAYS negative. ABout everything!! She never says anything positive (no exageration). My father-in-law has actualy appologised for her in the past, and my fiance says that eventually I'll learn to let it go in one ear and out the other. But I want to be a good daughter-in-law, I dont want one of those stereotypical relationships with her and yet I feel like she thinks Im so hot-headed, strong willed woman who's stealing her son away!
Does anyone else have MILs like this? ANd how do you deal with it. I try my best!!
Sorry, Im feeling sad and stressed about this. I dont want to stress my fiance out with it but it really upsets me!

excuse my bluntness but what the hell has it got to do with her,,i mean is she paying for it,,,its your day not hers,do what i did with glenns mother and play her at her own game,,,AND DONT BACK DOWN

Rebecca - on my god oh my god!

I think the place sounds lovely and I wish I were getting married there as well. The only way you are going to be a good daughter in law is to do exactly what everyone else does and give in to her and let it all wash over you. I don't really think that's you is it?

Sounds like it can go one of two ways. You get the wedding you want or you give into her, cancel and book that hotel instead. It's not as if it's a couple of things - it's the whole damn experience that she's against - can't see a compromise!

Whatever you choose will probably have an influence on your future relationship.

My future mother in law and myself had a falling out a couple of years ago which resulting in us not seeing her for 18 months. She never likes her sons' choice of girlfriends and I was no different. She knows now I am around to stay and it's been very different since we started seeing her again.

I think it sounds like you have found a stunning venue that caters to your every need and youd be a fool not to book it! If noone else has a problem with the venue except your MIL then stuff her, she will be out numbered and will have to put up and shut up! dont worry about her, your son and her husband obviously dont. Sounds like she might be doing because shes not ready to let go of her son.

Your venuey sounds heavenly... stick with it!!!!

ohhh hon x don't start me on mother in laws!! mine is a pain in my a s s! all i suggest is ignore every word! who cares what she thinks about any of your wedding plans! Do what you like! xx she is obviously very jealous and childish!!! i got on really well with my mil at first, but as time has gone on i spend less and less time with her,she is a very selfish woman but luckily my h2b doesn't want to spend much time with her either! xxxxxx like all of the other girls above, your venue sounds amazing!!!!! xxxxxxx