I just don't know what to do now. Over lunch today my mum asked me if we had any plans for when or where we want to get married. So I told her we are thinking of a small do at a registry office with a big party at the weekend on his birthday next year. (We are not planning on telling anyone we have booked it until we have given notice) She had a big rant on as its a Tuesday (why that matters to her when she works flexi time) and just because its his second wedding you should still have the wedding you want. How do I make her realise that a small do with close family (and no arguments between them on the day) then a big party to celebrate is what I want. I think she is hoping ill decide on a big do that takes years to save up for and will get bored of him while saving.
CommentAuthorMrsComiskey-2b
I understand where you are coming from here, my mother is the same with me, yes I am having the big day but she wants the massive numbers attending, we wont only 80-100 . I would rather me and H2B went away to get married..7
Stick to your guns and have what you want it is your big day and it is going to make you very happy. don't compromise your happiness for anyone or anything xx
I am in love with the most wonderful man in the world xxxx
"Let me share this whole new world with you "
Wedding Diet (lose so far)-16.5lb :)
CommentAuthormcquire81
I agree with MrsComiskey it is your day and what you want is what matters! I seem to find that weddings bring out some sort odd behaviour with families and the main focus gets lost, if you want an intimate affair then go for it, you dont want to follow your mothers wishes and then end up hating the day. Good luck xx
CommentAuthorSweetchilli
Your Mum has to understand this is your big day and its all about what you want and not what she wants. Be strong and tell her over a coffee.
CommentAuthorStorm's Princess
I agree. Its yours and H2B's day. you do and plan the things you want that make you happy, not because someone else doesnt like your plans x
Tbh atm I don't think it would bother me if she didn't come. I know there is going to be words between the best woman, my sil, my step mum about my mum.
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Ok so me my mum and big little sister (younger but taller than me) are having a day out on Friday. Going to tell mum have booked the wedding and explain more to her that I don't want a big day. I would rather a small day where I can talk to everybody and its not just 'thanks for coming'. Then at the party I can talk to everybody too.
CommentAuthor~feebee~
Good luck, just stay calm and if she 'starts' just say you're made your mind up and you're not discussing it and then change the subject.
I hate mother's interfering! What gives them the right just because your their child grrrr
Finally Mrs Grove :)
CommentAuthorClareS
You've got the others there for support, Have a word with them before hand and say you're going to tell her what's what so far and if she starts it's their job to sort her out lol, one can be with you for support whilst the others direct her somewhere else away from you and give her a good talking to lol good luck x
CommentAuthorHa_x3
Good luck, remember its your day & dont let her get to you hun x
Mrs Lunn
08/05/12 was the best day of my life
& I love my husband with all my heart xxxx
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
I know she just annoys me so much sometimes.
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Nervous now. Going out in 45mins.
CommentAuthorCupCake
I hope it all goes ok with your Mum today. Point out that you're old enough to make your own wedding plans, and it would be nice if she could support your choices. It's always hard with Mum's as they dream of the ideal wedding for their daughters all their lives, but unless your very wealthy or win the lotto most plans have to be scaled down to the wedding you can afford! In the end it's not how much money you spend on the day, it's the happiness you share for the rest of your lives that matters ;)
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthorbrilly
fingers crossed u get ya message across to ur mum today hun, my mam and h2b just dont get on he tolerates her for my sons sake she was ok with him until my dad died then just went all weird (shes a weird person anyway lol) but if i see her twist her face or be sarcastic 1 more time when the wedding is mentioned shes not coming to celebrate our day she even said when i showed her a pic of a dress i liked "oo ull look fat in that" my reply being "andddd if i do then i do coz i wont look no different to what i do now" she shut up i wont have her or any1 else share our day if they aint truely happy and i wont have them dictate to me either what my day will be like, u stand ur ground hun its urs and ur h2b's day enjoy it xxxxx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorLeanne
Good luck and be strong, but after you tell her I'm sure she will support your decision if she wants you to be happy.
leanne
started dating 1st march 2002
got engaged 1st march 2012
plan to get married 29th june 2013
CommentAuthorSubbyMinx
My mum is the complete opposite! She wants me to go to a registry office then have a party at someone's house. She keeps saying it's a shame that my Grandma moved a few years back, as she used to have a house that was great for hosting larger parties. I find it really strange though, because my parents also don't approve of my partner (he's too old, been married before, I have no life-focus since I got with him etc etc) She seems to think it's stupid to spend a lot of money on one day, and yet I used to have a 10K wedding fund that got spent because they got into financial trouble. Surely it's my choice to save that money and spend it how I want? If it was her 10K fund, then I could understand it!
You have the day you want hun, just keep putting your foot down. It's what I'm doing. I do understand that it can be hard to ignore the little comments though.
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
I couldn't do it ladies. I was to scared of her having a big raging fit and reducing me to tears in the middle of ikea. Think It's probably for the best if I just write it in a letter.
CommentAuthorbrilly
aww bless ya katie chick if u feel its easier writing it down hun do it that way u can get everything down what u need to say tell her why you have wrote it aswell hun that u dont want her getting upset or yourself getting upset but it needs to be said hope u get everything sorted out hun xxx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Well I have written the letter. Going to give it to my sister to give to mum on Monday.
How does it sound to you ladies?
Mum, John and I have set a date for the wedding. It is the 25th June 2013. We are having just a small ceremony and then a big party.
We decided it was better to do this than try and do a big wedding on a budget and it be pants. You know how cr*p my 21st was (i was too busy trying to keep everyone happy so didn't get to enjoy myself)
I know it is nothing like the big affair me and (my ex) were planning but that's because his parents were paying for most of it and the rest was going on credit cards and our overdrafts.
I tried to talk to you about it on Friday but i didn't want to ruin Amanda's (my sister) day.
I hope you are not angry and can be happy for us.
Love you Catherine xxx
CommentAuthorCupCake
It's short and to the point hun, which is always good in these situations :) The ball is in her court now ...... I hope she can be happy for you liked you've asked, will keep my fingers crossed x
Became Mrs Lyons 30th July 2011 x
CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
hopefully itll work out for u hun xxx
Ill marry my hero
CommentAuthorMrs Davro
Well I eventually got round to writing it down and posting it through her door.
She's a bit miffed its a Tuesday but pointed out as we had to have a week day for cheapness it made sense to have h2b birthday.
She knew it would just be a small affair and had suspected that one of the reasons me and my ex split up was because he wanted such a big wedding and I didn't. Now to tell her I've nearly planned it all lol. Bridesmaid dresses is easy I bought them on the off chance as they were such a great deal and easily just sent back to the vintage shop.
CommentAuthorbrilly
glad you got it sorted hun bet u feel loads better now uve got it off ur chest xx
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
