Just wanted a bit of advise really, hope you can help.
I am getting married next October (2014) and as the first born my mom is so excited so I have tried to include her on everything. We created a guest list and sent out STDs to the day guests. I have specified the names of people I want to attend on the STD and asked my mom to pass them on to the relevant people.
We took my dad to our wedding venue so he could see it for the first time and sat outside in the sun having a lovely drink when my mom said that the relatives of the people I have invited will be coming (I do not know these people). I tried to be as calm and nice as possible and explain that I don't know these people and at £70 a head I can't afford to invite random people. My dad also dropped out that he is inviting his boss which I am ok with as I get on really well with him but will have to invite the boss' friend and both their wives as he will not come alone. Again this is at an expense I do not want and cannot afford to pay.
Am I being unreasonable?
How do I explain this to my parents without sounding horrible?
Any advise would be greatly appreciated.
Thanks
Claire x
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
I think if the boss's wife and friends wanna come they should pay the fee themselves or ur dad should since u don't know or want them there! The same with relatives you've never met,just say a definite foot down no!x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorNaomiH25
If ur paying the wedding then its a no! If she stamps her feet tell her to cough up the money for the people u dont know. She will soon change her tune.
met in August 2003 - the year we finished school
back in touch on 19/1/11, finally got together on 27/3/11
Engaged on 30/08/12 during a Slash Concert in Perth
Mrs Dalby on 27/12/13
CommentAuthorbrilly
I would just tell them if they want to invite people then they need to pay for them as your budget just cant cover it hun x
31st August 2013 I became Mrs Carrick
Cant wait to do it all over again in 2018
CommentAuthorBecky1608
I've got the same issue with the mil - it's so difficult isn' t it!!? But at the end of the day it's about who you and your H2B want to invite.
I would just explain that you can't afford to invite all the extra people and that you don't want your wedding to be full of people that neither of you know. I think that's completely understandable!
xxx
29/09/2008 - The Day we met
12/11/2008 - When we decided to be more than friends
04/11/2012 - A proposal in Central Park NYC
08/11/2014 - The day we say I do!
We had the same issue, MIL2B was telling me we needed to invite this person & that person.... H2B doesn't get on with his family so his parents are lucky to get an invite themselves! (At one point H2B went through all my wedding notes, found the guest list, took a perm black marker to it and scrubbed off all names of his family and insisted he will be taking my name and losing his!)
when it comes to his mother, I nodded, agreed, stated that those with invites will be more than welcome! Then kept the guest list as it was. Well, then H2B broke off the engagement due to stress etc, and his parents got word of this and appeared to be happy about this, infact they still give me a smug grin everytime they see me!
We got engaged again valentines this year, I have made all the invitations, however H2B's family don't know we are engaged again! We are not telling them a s0dding thing! I have cut the guest list so short that it will only be his parents, his bro & gf, his 3 grandparents, my grandparents, my bro & extremely close friends & our kids! We will have a small ceremony of 29 inc me, him, registrar & officiant! so without our kids and legal people thats a guest list of 23! there will be a buffet meal afterwards for 27 & evening guests will arrive afterwards, at this point i couldnt care less who attends the evening do as i wont be feeding any of them!
Find out who you are & do it on purpose!
CommentAuthorNatashaH84
At the end of the day it's your wedding you don't want to get upset on the day because you don't recognise any of the faces I had a similar moment with my MIL2Be but not with as many people being invited and in the end I spoke with the fella and we came to an agreement.
If it were me I would sit down with them and say, look I'm paying for this and I want the people who come to be my friends and family if you want other people you need to ask first because I can't afford to pay for people I don't know at my special day.
CommentAuthorMrsCresswell2B
Thx ladies, I thought I was over reacting.
I did try and talk to them about it by saying that 'people' were causing arguments between my and H2B by inviting people we couldn't afford to pay for and they said "how dare they interfere in your day". They didn't take the hint that I was talking about them lol
