I orignally had 3 adult bridesmaids and my little girl as my flower girl, and this week my MOH (who is my sister) has told her little girl shes going to be a bridesmaid at my wedding, i didnt ask my neice for the simple fact i have 5 neice and nephews and i wasnt asking one and not the others, my little girl is my flower girl for obvious reasons shes my baby i want her in my wedding.
so ive told MOH her daughter can be (shes only 6 and i didnt want to upset her) on the condition that she had to buy her daughters dress and shoes which she agreed at the time, but has informed my green wont suit her daughter and she doesnt think its fair she has to buy the dress when i bought the rest, am i being unfair standing my ground? i didnt want her as a bridesmaid so i dont think its fair i have to pay out another £70 for a dress. xxx
CommentAuthorUnknown
no, your not being unfair. i wouldnt have even said she can be if she bought the dress. i would tell her that as you didint ask her you dont want her as a bm as it just isnt fair on the others.
you are going to have to just tell people straight if you dont want it or people will just think they do what they want in regards to your wedding. i had to tell my sisters no on a number of occasions x
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
i told her no a few times and carried on regardless with her daughter so in the end to stop the fight with her i agreed but from now i told her shes not to make any more decisions without me, i told her my gran isnt to know for numerous reasons so shes marked it on her calender and left a note with it on her table so my gran would see, i would kick her out but i love my sister to bits and i dont want to do my day without her, shes been great all my life, just lately shes turned into a cow lol xxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
stand your ground ..... i dont know why people think they have the right to suggest who you have a BM`s ......
this is why my MIL wont come to our wedding now as we wont have Mr lala`s nieces ... if we did i would have to have mine too and that would then mean i had 7 ..... not a chance ....we always want just me 3 daughters and thats the way it is ....therfroe inlaws wont be ther ... ah well thier loss
thank you girls! i think i will have a sit down with her and just talk to her and tell her that i know shes trying to help but she needs to stop, i already lost my temper about her sulking for venue and my choice of ring, shes even sulked because i wont show her my dress until the day! lol. thank you i will take her out for lunch and talk to her. xx
thank you hun! if i need it then i will message you =p xx
CommentAuthorkerriface
Ha at the slap comment! Maybe she's a bit jealous? My sister isn't bm (not sure she's realised yet!) but she's volunteered my niece to be flower girl. MIL has volunteered her other granddaughter, who we rarely see, to be bm. Thing is, I only want my stepdaughter and then older friends. I think you've got the right idea talking to her. Just keep calm and stick to your guns no matter how irrate she gets!x
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
I think my mum may of spoke to her, she has rang me and asked if i was upset with her for my neice, and said she just didnt want to upset her daughter my response was "its done now but thats it. Its my wedding and choices need to go through me and martin" she hung up but short and sweet shell talk to me or she wont. lol. xx
CommentAuthorcally
I was so lucky i have three daughters, three nieces and John has two nieces, I made it clear from the start my duaghters would be my BM as at nearly 45 when we get married I would look ridiculous with a huge entorage. Luckily everyone has understood and i havn't had any problems. (Well not to my face anyway lol ) xx
It's great to say i get married this year September 1st 2012
CommentAuthorRags
I'm getting everyone to pay for their own anyway....so feel rude to comment either way on that one.
I think it's out of order to say her daughter doesn't suit green.
Just say no
I'm now a married woman
I have a gorgeous husband
Whats to do now
Theres no more wedding planning to do
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
i was going to get them all to pay but they all had their own ideas about dresses, youngest BM short and tight, MOH long and floaty and middle BM only one who agreed, i bought them so that the arguement was i bought them they fit suits everything, lol. they all paying for own shoes and jewles, lol, xx
CommentAuthorShirleygirly
IT'S YOUR WEDDING!!! Sorry to shout but that's the craziest thing I've ever heard. You poor thing, I thought I was having BM issues. The first thing was the fact she didn't talk to you first but told a 6 year old that she was going to be a BM, knowing (i bet) that you'd never upset your niece. Then wanting to change your colour scheme to suit the BM who wasn't supposed to be a BM. I remember being BM for my sister and we all had to wear mid calf length blackwatch tartan (green & navy) dresses with puffy sleeves. They were disgusting! We had flowers in our hair which attracted bugs so I looked like I had lice oh and the most goppin shoes ever from clarks. Not once did I moan or say the colour didn't suit me (it was hideous). I got on with it, we all did. We all looked like mingers for the day because it was my sisters day and she had the say. I was 15 to add to the mix so hideously self conscious. Cringe!
I think you need to have a BM meeting to remind them whose day it is. Good luck hun, you've got a really tough one. x
I can't wait until 29/06/2013
The day I marry the man of my dreams!
CommentAuthorloustew2012
lala will u come and slap my moh for me too lol x
All the ways of my life id rather be with you.
Theres no way without you.
10.11.12
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Tbh I'd say no! She shouldn't have told her daughter she could be bm full stop - let alone moan about the colour scheme/paying for the dress! I'd tell her it's not alright and (seeing as she hasn't bought anything) your daughter is going to be the only little'un involved for the bl**dy good reason that she's your daughter.
Sorry - probably sounds mean, I'm not too good in the mornings lol Xx
CommentAuthorkatie1991
hey hun i would say no full stop let her tell her daughter as she said she could i would be so angry xx
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
doesnt sound mean at all. i didnt want her as a BM because its not fair, im so angry shes constantly going on about it to me, i lost my temper after the phone call last night so i just text her and told her not to do anything until i speak to her, shes all for ordering favours and invites and alsorts so ive banished her and told her to pack it in, shes going to have to tell my neice because its not my fault, my little girl is in the wedding because shes my little lady and i only wanted her, i dont think im going to give in anymore, i didnt want her as a BM so she wont be, im in a grumpy mood this morning so might get it done while im already a grump lol. xxx
CommentAuthorEcoFreak
Haha that's what I'd do - wouldn't want to spoil a good mood later :)
And tbh your neice will get over it - if she's coming to the wedding then she'll get to dress all pretty anyway :) Xx
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
lol that was eventful. lol i got my rant out over the phone and my sister just agreed and apoligised! So shes now going to talk to her daughter tonight an explain she can hve the nice dress and some flowers but she has to sit with her dad. I feel better now ive had a brew lol x
thank you, if she carries on ill let you know, shes the only one being hard work my little sister hated the dress i got her but after putting it on and saying she can get her own shoes shes oki now, i wish my big sister would be that simple lol. at least my screaming neice tonight isnt my problem lol, xx
CommentAuthorrocketqueen
What a cheek!!! You must have incredible patience, I'd have gone mad.
It's YOUR wedding hun, do it YOUR way x
Here comes the bride......
CommentAuthordolphin
does your sister realise its your wedding and its upto you not her, i would stand my ground, infact if i was to be really cheeky and say, if you want your daughter to be bridesmade then all the other neices and nephews have to be part to and she has to buy there stuff too or her daughter cant be a flower girl, take it or leave it, but that is a bit harsh. I had kind of the same trouble, im only having 1 bridesmade and i wanted a nice sage green colour but she said she dont like it and is not wearing it, so i said well i dont really want to change it, she wanted red, but my friend is getting married not long before us and shes having that colour, and one of my pageboys has ginger hair (and happens to be my son and she is my h2bs niece) that i want something to suit him. x
cant wait to marry the man of dreams 18/5/2013
The first time was a rehursal, this time its for life.
CommentAuthorLegoWife
Well done on putting her in her place!
~Wedding made of Lego~
*Married 30/03/13*
CommentAuthorsamwiseheart
was so proud of myself =D lol i feel like i should ring everyone while im on a roll and feeling good, rang my venue and got another £150 off because they said they dont have enough seat covers to do all and id have to do the rest so decided id go without lol,
dolphin my daughter and son are ginger and they both wearing emerald green, im sure the green will be fine, tell her if she doesnt want to match then youll have to find someone else, seems unfair ud change your colour for the sake of one dress? what about getting a complimentary colour instead and keep your sage green for the rest? xx
