I used to get on really well (or so I thought) with the MIL2B. Me and the OH decided our flowegirls would be his daughter and his best man's little girl as we spend a lot of time with them and she's his little girl's best friend so thought it would be nice for them too. Plus my OH has 1 neice but 7 nephews so we didn't want to pick her then have to worry about page boys cos we couldn't have them all so not to let some down we decided this for flowegirls and my 2 nephews for page boys.
I told my OH he could tell his mum as she'd take it better from him. So one night in October at the bingo with her I mentioned I'd been to a wedding fayre and had some ideas for colours and she said something about me only having the 2 little ones as bridesmaids so in my head I assumed OH had told her so said "yeah, just Lily and Molly", her response "Molly?! Not Natalia?", oops, he hadn't told her! So she starts going on about how Molly isn't family, that she's already told Natalia she will be bridesmaid, how she WILL be involved in planning! Tried to politely explain the reasons etc, she was having none of it! Started going on about all sorts like how she was sick of hearing we had no money, she was referring to the fact we'd told them we were only spending £15 each on adults at xmas as we need to save for the wedding (they're not paying for anything) and that she didn't believe it was OH's decision. At this point we'd made 2 decisions, bridesmaids and date, both of which were OH's ideas. Eventually she looks at me and goes 'well a lot can happen in 2 years', asked what she meant, her reply 'well you might split up!'.
Obviously this really upset me so rang OH, he text her to say until she said sorry he wasn't talking to her. They didn't talk for over a month but then she rang his ex and said we weren't letting her see Lily! He explained to ex the reasons and that he didn't want Lily to feel the atmosphere between us all. But because she'd dragged his ex into it he went round to have it out with her. I told him I'd understand if he wanted to start talking to her again as she is his mum. So they had a huge row but kind of got sorted. But when he asked her about me she said I'm just one of those people she doesn't get on with! She always got on with me when asking me for favours such as baking cakes for charity days at her work, borrowing handbags to take on holiday, help making dance costumes for his neice, driving her places when FIL2B isn't about!!
So haven't spoke since, we were civil at Xmas but that's all. TBH it suits me fine but worried about what the future holds now?
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthormadhen
I think the main thing is that you and your h2b stick together. Whatever it is about weddings I do not know but family members turn into raving lunatics over the smallest things - believe me I've been there. I'm also very much on your side because I know what it feels like to have people annoyed at me that such a person isn't being bridesmaid when I never even had that person on the shortlist but the family have taken it upon themselves to hint very un-subtley that they'll be asked....!
So anyway! You and h2b stick together, don't rise to any provocation. Carry on with your wedding and your mil2b will have to grow up and see sense or she risks alienating her son. You can only hope she gets her head straight sooner rather than later but stressing yourself out over it when you've so much else on your mind isn't worth it :)
CommentAuthorSonya
Well he's kind of talking to her now so she sees Lily and I've asked him to not ask me to talk first and he's said he won't but I reckon he might the longer this goes on. Part of me is happy with it this way as I know she's going to be an absolute nightmare when we start doing guest lists and seating plans. I'm pretty sure she's also going to ask to see my dress too which will not be happening!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthormadhen
Exactly, maybe start the bridge-building after the wedding to cut back on interference...!
CommentAuthorTori
They are brides maids Hun there's a clue in the title. You should not bentonite into changing your mind which it sounds like what this is all about. From what you've said it looks like she will new you first x
well if she's holding out for us changing our minds she will be waiting a very long time!
Became Mrs Mulholland on September 12th 2014!!!
CommentAuthorAmyP7
She needs to apologise. It's your wedding, it annoys me how people think they can stick their noses in when weddings are concerned x x
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
Tbh if you're falling out just cos her granddaughter is not being a flowergirl then I think it's good you're finding out what she thinks of u now than further down the line, I say just carry on being civil but definitely don't forgive her, for her to say "well u might split up" I think is absolutely out of order and I don't think I'd be able to even be in the same room as her!x
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
CommentAuthorprincesspixie
I think she's out of order, its your wedding and your decision I don't blame you for not wanting 7 page boys and like you say its not fair to choose his niece and not his nephews. She shouldnt have told his niece she was a bridesmaid that wasnt her decision to make xx
Officially married my best friend 2/5/2015 (secretly)
Big wedding 18/06/2016
CommentAuthorSonya
well it turns out she hadn't actually told her, I spoke to the SIL 2B and she said the first she heard of it was when she was telling her about us falling out. She obviously said it in the hope it would make me feel guilty for letting a little girl down. Even if we had been having his neice I would have been furious if she had told her - that's my job to do!
