Wedding Forum - MIL trouble!...

I've not had these kinds of problems but I think the most effective way to deal with it is to just be honest and upfront with her. It's no good treading on eggshells around her as she probably won't stop, so I would just be firm and make it clear to her that she needs to stop interfering and if she wants to discuss anything, then to discuss it with you first. She might be upset at first but sometimes you need to be cruel to be kind xx

I've had similar experience ironically with my own mum and my MIL is actually a bit more supportive.My mum keeps inviting people I don't know to the wedding and not in an official capacity, literally just seeing her friends and saying come to the wedding it will be here on this day, then suggesting ridiculous 'money saving' tips so we can add them. I've had 'forget the venue have the reception in your garden' She also never tells me she's invited them so I keep hearing my wedding plans from other people while I'm at the supermarket, who just say 'can't wait till the wedding, you mum says just come along'

I had to play hard ball with her. I laid down what we were planning and told her that I would be gutted if she wasn't a part of our day but the added pressure she's applying with her shenanigans means I'm gonna have to reduce her involvement if I couldn't trust her to be my support system and not someone I have to keep tabs on.

I then gave her a project of crocheting Bolero type wraps for the bridal party. Given her something else to focus on and still feel helpful even though she has no guest list privileges.

I explained why we had organised things the way we had and she seemed more receptive. I would suggest you & you H2B have a United front and maybe meet for ancoffee of lunch on neutral ground and just express what you want and why your having it that way. No mother could begrudge her son having his own father and siblings at his wedding. Then maybe give her a project that you only 'trust her' to do to show that she really is special, it's a good distraction method.

I think your h2b needs to sit down and chat with her properly about this and for him to tell her who is and is not going to your wedding. Sounds like she still has a lot of insecurities and taking them out on your wedding,

Thanks ladies, I don't really like her anyway as she has done a lot of other things in the past so I'm probably more annoyed than I should be, but she has no right to say who does and doesn't get an invite just to keep something that isn't a secret hidden from her partner. She is very childish, selfish and petty at the best of times but it is bothering me more because it's our wedding she's effecting now! H2B has told her but she can always seem to get around him (she won't with this but I'm sure she will with something else), and I am made to feel like I'm not allowed to say anything to her because she's not my mum (by her not my fiance).