earlier this year myself and my fiance went to an informal wedding reception (bbq at family home), and there were kids everywhere.
well, i say attended, actually my mil dragged our then 3 week old son with her 'to give us a few hours off', but thats another rant, why use someones wedding to broadcast the new baby, really dont agree with it, but let her just to shut her up whinging.
anyway, now we are getting married in june 2013, registry for close family and friends only, then (posh-ish) pub reception in the evening. my problem is that our son will be 14 months old, and will be coming, obviously, but mil is assuming everyone in their side of the family can bring their kids - theres loads! surely just because our son is going it doesnt mean its a kiddy free for all?
my OH doesnt see my problem, but i dont want our reception turning into a competition for the longest knee slide, or worse having new babies 'introduced' to the family, its OUR day - however selfish that sounds. i was mortified that mil took our son to the other wedding, i phoned the groom beforehand to apologise, as i knew they didnt want tiny ones there.
dont get me wrong i dont mind kids coming, but ones that are old enough to sit at the table and shut the hell up, not some screaming newborn drowning out my OHs nervous speech or devilchildren tearing the place apart while mummy and daddy have fun.
another issue is that she is already telling people when and where it is, and that "sure the little ones can come, its just a pub reception"!! are u effing kidding me?
what do i do ladies?!
CommentAuthorTsukijin
Put on your invites in no uncertain terms ADULTS ONLY. Tell your mil you do not want kids there, it's your day not hers. I have an idiot in my family who is trying to use my wedding to show off her new kid :/
eru, shiteiru ka? shinigami wa ringo shika tabenai?
^_^
CommentAuthorHalebob85
When are you sending your invites out? You can mention in them about kids. And try and talk to her about it, tell her that there is an age limit for the children as you don't want lots of young children there. Obv apart from your own son
Met August 2003
Started planning 2012
Getting married 29th June 2014
CommentAuthorLindsayK
they will probably be sent out in january / february so people have notice (although im making them now as maternity leave is soooo boring when baby is asleep!)
tsukijin, i remember reading ur post as i was in a similar situation, if people want to see the new baby before the wedding then im sure they could get off their backsides, the mum would probably appreciate the grown up company and help, only so many times you can talk to something that responds by laughing and filling his nappy.....
i just didnt know if it would be hypocritical if we said no small ones then had our own there - although i suppose he could count as page boy or best man if OH's mate isnt back from deployment
CommentAuthorOWB
I've put 'due to restrictions on numbers we are unable to invite children' or words to that effect.
I think OWB is making a good point there. there is no harm in your child been there especially seen as it is his day too. The others have plenty of time to organise a babysitter for the day.
We however are having 26 kids to our wedding only because they are family plus their parents are travelling from england so as the whole family will be there there would be nobody left to look after their kids for the time they are away.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with what your saying as i will be telling the ones at our wedding with younger children to remove any child from the service who starts to cry or cause a problem and that the hotel insist that parents look after their own children at all times and not let them run amuck.
met online 4 years ago
from that first chat i knew
i'll become mrs tombs
please feel free to call me Donna
CommentAuthor
we're having lots and lots of children at our wedding, i personally think children make a party BUT i have one friend with a very naughty little girl and I have told her that there isnt room for her as we have so many coming already! horrible I know but all the kids in mine n h2bs family are very well behaved and I dont want 1 little cow to spoil the fun! Be firm but not "i dont want ur kid ruining my day' lol or you'll end up with everyone with children just saying they're not coming! When are you actually getting married? sounds like sooner the invites are out the better and they can start planning sitters xxx
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthorFernP61
yes i would def put on invites adults only i totally agree im only having the ones that are fgirls and my two children i dont want a room full of screaming kids tearing the place up its your day your the one who has the rules just say to your mil that its not what you want if she doesnt like it tuff xx
CommentAuthorb2bnicola
Use the excuse that as its a pub u cant have kids there - works every time :) x
Happily Married! :) xxx
CommentAuthorCarlyD38
awww. im having the same issue, We have years yet, were not getting married till 2015, however i sat down and did the number, between me and partners familly there would be, 29 adults that have 23 kids. thats far to many kids, and when you add my two that radio is crazy, not only that but 14 of them will be between the age od 11-15 that is a bad age group as i believe that many together can only and ill get up to no good. so no not happening. aprt from my 2 and my 3 niece who will all be part of the wedding that is it. MIL said i cant do that, i also hate hats so no hats either, and my colors are royal/navy blue. and if your not in the wedding party your not wearing that color. so i have a section on my invite that will say. requirements: no children no hats no blue
simple MIL said if i do that no one will come, i just said, good the cheaper the wedding, and it shut her up just be firm
CommentAuthorMrs brown - 19/08/12
Im sort of the other way here, If we were having no children at our wedding and we were going to bring our daughter i would be quite offended, But thats personal choice really. Im having around 10 children at our wedding in a few weeks time, Children our lovely at wedding! But iam worried about my sisters two boys as they can be abit naughty but im hoping my sister wont let them get away with being naughty. If you use the children are not allowed they may think so how come you child can be there x
CommentAuthormrsV2013
it's your day and you should spend it how you want to. be firm xx
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorOWB
If anybody asks why your son is there, it's simple 'he's your son'! I've got two children at mine, I've still put no children allowed and if anybody asks why these two are there then I'll simply inform them that 'they're in the wedding party'.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorMrs To Be
I love kids at weddings and I'm even thinking of hiring a nanny for bedtime, that way all the young children (under 3's) can go off to bed and be looked after whilst the rest of us enjoy the rest of the evening. I'm hoping to get a bouncy castle for them whilst we're having dinner and a 'party bag' of things they can do on their own like colouring pencils and paper so if their mums and dads want them to sit at the table they'll have something to do. We're having no sweets so no e-numbers or colourings to aid madness and I say as long as I haven't paid for the suit then bring on the knee slides lol
CommentAuthorLindsayK
Mrs to be - the colouring stuff is a good idea! I suppose I could have them there if they have something to occupy them, I remember how boring weddings were when I was a kid, even when I was a bridesmaid! The groom and beat man will probably want to join in the knee sliding.....
CommentAuthorMorgsysGirl(kempy)
I personally had children at my wedding, the youngest was 4 months old my nephew. And one was 5 months which was adams nephew. We had sweets and colours etc for them and I must admit everyone of them was well behaved. However it is your wedding and if you only want your son there only have your son there! x
Married my soul mate 22-6-2012
Conceived baby 3 on our wedding day!
Due 15-3-2013 baby will join our two other beauties!
So glad I'm finally a Morgan!
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
I agree, its your wedding, your day so your choice. I personally don't mind having kids there but i know everyone is different! x
CommentAuthorLauraJo87
I'm in the no kid brigade I'm afraid! However, that is mostly because I feel that I'd we allow some guests to bring kids, well have to allow them all and that would play havoc with the numbers.
Plus, most of friends are looking forward to a night away! We are prepared for people to not come if they can't get babysitters, but we are giving them plenty of notice to sort something out xx
My Beating Heart Belongs To You
30 August 2013
The First Day Of My Happily Ever After
CommentAuthorMrs To Be
If you can get away with having no kids then for it, it's your big day and you should do what you want. I just love kids at weddings and don't see anything wrong with all the family getting together and meeting all the new members of the family in one place. I have a 2 year old and would defiantly think twice about going to a wedding if he wan't invited.
CommentAuthorSteffie
we only have 5 children coming to our wedding
2 x 4/5 yr old girls (flower girls) 2 x 2 year olds (brother of flower girl and best friends son) 1 x 8 month old (our niece)
I work with kids and I would have loved more to be at the wedding, but it's just not practical! Also have said no to children coming with evening invites!
1 4 yr old and 1 2 yr old are going home with grand parents after first dance so we'll only have 3 children left!!
