Im just at the end of me tether really!!!
Its her birthday on the 1st of June (she'll be 43) and shes acting more like 15!!!

Basically me and my h2b get paid on the 5th and 8th of the month and this month has been EXTREMELY TIGHT!!! My MIL is fully aware of this cause she asked us to post her a dvd to lend and we cudnt even afford the postage.....

(background situation for newbies my MIL is a nightmare - lives 5 1/2hrs away from us but drives me mad!!!!)

So we were talkin to her the other night and she went "so about my birthday... when are you's coming down?"
We calmly explain that we had no money to afford the amount of diesel to travel so cud she possibly come up here?
Her answer was "NO!!! I have plans on sat 29th and i will not cancel them for you!! but why dont u come down on the friday night and stay till the monday night?"
We once again explained that we cannot afford this.
She basically kicked off!!!!!!!!

Saying that "well thats jsut great isnt it... not only do i get to be ALL ALONE on my birthday cos you's live far away but i dont even get a present... well thanks very much"

We ended the conversation swiftly as we didnt want a row.
Me and my h2b talked it through and we'd said that if we cancelled a night out we've got planned with my parents this month we cud afford the diesel to go and at least see her before her birthday.

We explained to my MIL that we can only afford it due to cancelled on my parents... her response was "well SO WHAT, its my birthday IM A PRIORITY and with regards to my present you's have 3 choices.... the gavin n stacey dvds, money or wen u's take me shopping wen u come down that weekend ill pick out something that u can buy me"

I got VERY ANNOYED!!!! I told h2b that we are under no circumstances letting her pick out her own present as im not havin the embarassment of being in a shop and her pickin up sumthing thats say £30 and us having to tell her that we cant afford that!!!!

We asked nicely if she wudnt mind waiting till mid june for her present... her response was
"u managed to get nic's dad something for his birthday... why am i not gettin owt?"

This was when i intervened....... "my dad's birthday was his 50TH!!!!!! a speciail birthday and just to let you know... my mum actually bought my dads present for us cos she knew that we cudnt afford it"
her response was "oh so great just cos i dont have a partner to bail me out COS HES DEAD i have to suffer and not have a birthday present"
(i would like to point out here that my h2bs dad passed away 2 years ago BUT they did divorce 17 years previous to that)

My h2b got very upset and screamed "mum ive quite aware my dad is dead but that has nothing to do with it.... we'll do our best for your present but thats going to have to be good enough"

She kinda went quiet after that but then said this.....

"so you's are coming down on the fri till the monday yeah?" we replied yes..... her response was "so u's will hang out with h2bs friends fri n sat then the sun and mon belongs to me yes?" we replied saying "we'll see how things go" "so then u'll leave on the monday night leaving me all alone for my birthday on the tuesday"

WE HUNG UP!!!!!!!!!


Honestly it was like we were the parents and she was the kid!!! Spittin her dummy out cos she cudnt get a present!
Im just pig sick of being treated like that by her!!!

We're going down at the end of the month and if she ses 1 thing to me im going to blow! Ive been nice for long enough now! Ive had enough!!!!

Bless yer nic, just remember big deep breaths to calm down, if that fails u could always put laxatives in her tea for a few quiet hours xD
Am glad my MIL2b isnt that bad (ok i have witnessed her throw/launch a frozen turkey across the house on boxing day) just try to keep your calm nic and be the bigger more mature person over it all. If all else fails head for boots lol x

Wow that was a long rant lol!!!!

Shes just too difficult and i dont know why!
I certainly dont do anything to her to make her be like this with me.... its just too hard!!!
xx

She shouldnt do lol we lived abroad last year and we're still meant to be there but i convinced him for us to move back to uk so if nething i brought him closer!
Im dreading if we ever have kids what shes going to be like with them :S
x

Blimey she really needs to act her age and not her shoe size and not only that but doesnt she know that she will be another year older i would be saying oh dont make a fuss. If she winds u up when u go down just remember to bite your tongue lol and good luck cos it sounds like your gonna need it xx

Well in that case just say something to her and if she doesnt like it then its just tough luck and why is she commenting on your hair style at the end of the day u can do what u like your an adult and your the one that has to live with it not her xx

All I can say is OMG what is that all about really that was more like a conversation with my 16 year old sister! x

IF you are tired of being treated like this by her....then STOP being treated like it. Send her a card and a gift in the post.

She will continue to carry on like this if you and others allow her too.

Omg hun, i dont really know what to say to this apart from i don't think ive ever known a woman of ur MIL's age to act like a 5year old! Ridiculious. To be honest i dont blame you if you vent off at her the next time!. I would too if it was my MIL. I know it wont help but im sending you a big virtual hug! xxx

h2b can' think that she is in the right though?

no he doesnt hes as mad as me this time :)
he mentions to her all the time that shes out of line but it kinda goes in 1 ear n out the other.... and each time he does say sumthing the next comment to me will be worse and she'll ensure that hes not close enuff to hear so it looks like im rantin on about her more n more x

Oh hun i really feel for you, sending you big hugs ((((x))))

I agree with CeCe, only i would scrap the gift and add it to my wedding fund. lol.
We have told everyone not to expect gifts from us for the next 18 months. This includes parents and grandparents.

Quick explanation of xmas.... she wanted a dog.... we sed there was no way we'd stretch to affordin a dog for her.... but if she wanted one we'd put sum money towards it.... we were thinking £20 as that was how much we'd spent on my parents.

When we got back off hol (11th dec) she'd already purchased a £500 dog and sed to us "but ur giving me like £100 right" and we were like noooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo not at all
row went on for weeks.... and she cried on our answering machine etc etc

easier to give in

its daft but shes an adult lol
im hoping its easier to deal with a kid than it is her!!!!!!

xxx

haha oh yeah ALL of our phones dont wory SORRY hahaaaa good idea :) xx

This has been the last straw like....

Her fb status today is "today is the new beginning.... a new day.... a new me"

We've not heard from her lol so hopefully not calling us is part of the new her!!!!

x

Hi,
I am so sorry for you I know what can be a nightmare MIL as I have got one. If you want to rant just do it. I do it myself, it just helped me cope with it. You can't keep it for your own and talking too much of it with your partner is not always the best solution.
We had a civil wedding in London 1 month before the church wedding in her home town (no way she would come and visit us, I thank got every day for her saying and being like thet). So for me most of her driving me mad ended up when I told her that being already legally married so if she wanted to have the church wedding in France we should better calm down and let us do it our way. Unfortunatly this won't work for you.
She is still trying to have us spending all our holiday at her place arguing that my divorced parents are both ready to come and visit us so we can keep our days off to visit her. I finally told her that no way, we will have a proper honeymoon and we will share the holiday between her, our other family members and time for us only.
To have her less on my back I told her that with her current attitude coming to see her was not holiday for me so Lionel will come if he wants but I will not come with him. She was so affraid that he decide to send his holiday with me so not coming to visit her that she change her attitude. For how long ????
Good luck. xxx

You are definitly right, my MIL wanted us to arrive in France 1 week before the wedding to do I don't know what. I said to H2B at that time no way, we arrived on the Thursday nigh for the wedding on the Sunday. We spent the Friday doing the final preparation with the priest, and my hair and make up trial so we told her we were to busy and only saw her on the Saturday. For the Sunday we said that we had to say goodbye to the guests that also stayed at the hotel so we couldn't come and visit her.
She is a realy nice person but she can't help herself tell us how we should do thing and try controling us.
Yours seem to be playing more on the sensitive part witch is not nice.
To have her not coming to early for your wedding I suggest that you tell her that if she arrive on the Friday then she will have to help you finishing preparing your wedding and will have to do it your way. Prepare a list of thing she might have to do, like helping you decorating the venue, cook the diner while you are busy doing something, walk the dog if you have one so you can have your nail done, assemble the cake boxes, pic up your bouquet and the botton hole and make sure everyone will get one, ... It dipend on what you have planed but try to find things that are not funny and that show her that it will not be like staying in a hotel and calling a room service but that she will have to make herself usefull if she want to stay. As she seems to be as selfish and as I want to be te centre of attention as my MIL she will not want to do all that.
Again GOOD LUCK.

hails i did the same in the middle of tesco ...my son is now 25 and he still remembers that

wheyyyyy heeyyyyyyyy another good idea from Lala

to right hails ....i said it is written into the contract......
i also do it when im out with my godaughter ....wait till she goes a bit a way away from me then start gettin odd clothes hats etc ..saying does this look good on me etc etc ...she dies everytime

well after giving this some considerable thought i have to say .........................i agree with puddle, this woman needs to grow a pair, she is 43 not 83 and housebound i would never dream of telling any of my children to visit me wether they had the money or not ....if fact i normally call my son and tell him that as long as he gives me a quick ring on my birthday i`m not bothered about anything else .....he is broke all the time .
she sounds like a selfish witch to me

yeah goff thats so right .....she`ll only do what you let her get away with ......blimey its like the terrible twos,

send her to the norty step