Whenever she asks about the wedding my stomach knots up with tention because whatever i say she puts down or dissagrees with including the fact we are having a 2015 wedding! "Why not have it next year" she says " coz we can't afford it" i repeate for the umpetemth time! Aswell as the fact i want my 18 month daughter to be a bit older so she understands a bit more and can enjoy the day with us more! Everything i like or want etc is wrong acording to her! The colour scheme, the food, the ceremony, the music, the toasts, the invites! Everything ! Shes doing my head in and its still 2 years away! Help!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorMichelleB2b
Sorry to hear that. Main thing is, don't it come between you and your h2b. Also, maybe over time things will get a bit better and she will feel better, these mums don't often like handing over their boys to us girls! Maybe find a way you can make her feel involved and like she knows what's going on - but be careful in case that just gives her more things to be critical about! x
CommentAuthorBev
Don't let someone else's opinions ruin your wedding excitement! Thank her for her input and tell her politely that you understand she wants to have a say in the day but, ultimately, you'll have the wedding that you and H2B want regardless of her views on colours/invites, etc xxx
CommentAuthorAmyK
At the risk of being blunt - just stop telling her stuff. If she makes suggestions, then just smile, thank her and say you'll have a good think about it. But at least if she wants you to marry her son, its a good thing!! Show she approves, so you've already won the biggest battle with her
CommentAuthor*KelBel*
If she asks again, just say u haven't decided, then try to move the conversation on to another topic. If u don't give her any information, then there's nothing she can moan about plus it'll stop u feeling tense, which u shouldn't have to... U make ur own decisions xx
Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
That is exactly what I thought when I read the title for this post. What she doesn't know about she can't complain about.
CommentAuthorOWB
Don't discuss it with her. Simply say "we're still making decisions on that". Then closer to the time "Oh, that's already booked/sorted so it's too late now". Or simply tell her to get stuffed.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorWhovianbride
I've tryed , every-time we go over there she asks and is im like "i don't know, hav'nt decided " shes like well you should do this do that, and i try to sit there calmly thinking "i would never ever do that" and just nod and smile, but she drives me crazy, and she is upper middleclass and can't understand the fact we have to save for it! I end up excusing myself and just wanting to scream, i mean when her daughter got engaged it was 5 years between her engagment and wedding and she and her husband had decent jobs! head chef at top class restaurant and Midwife, while im a stay at home mum and my H2B is a "chef" (microwave technition) and about to become a apprentice chef at more or less min wage!
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
STOP TELLING HER THINGS...... she can only make comments on whatever you are choosing to say
I don't think I told my MIL much about the wedding, she never even saw my dress until the day when I walked down the aisle. Any chance you can get H2B to chat with her about it and remind her whose wedding it actually is? Like Kel said, if she asks say you have not made up your mind, then you don't tell her anything like lala said. Or just tell her straight, the wedding is now a surprise for everyone and the only people that will know about things are you and H2B.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i had a bit of this but with my own mother so i just stopped talking about things ... then my father called and said " oh she doesnt feel involved".. but wehn i said " but why would i talk about things to be told ... oh im surprised you spending that ... or dont you think its too early to be looking at that , so i`m not going to be put down about things anymore she will see things when she sees them " he understood what i meant ....
thanks girlies for all the ideas and i think me and my H2B may have just 180ed on the on theme anyway and are on about only telling people who need to know! but i may tell you girlies! ;)
Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
CommentAuthorGillianE
everyone has given you good advice, and i can't really add to it, but i would take their advice up though and not give her any information about anything.
That is exactly what I thought when I read the title for this post. What she doesn't know about she can't complain about.
