Wedding Forum - Marriage Preparation Course UPDATED...

Hi Everyone

Just checked my postbox and have just received confirmation of mine and H2B's registration onto the marriage preparation course that we have to do before my parish priest will complete the paperwork for us to be married.

The course in one full day and one evening in the autumn.

I'm not entirely sure what to expect. I do understand it is so that H2B and I can learn and reflect on how to overcome any difficulties faced in marriage etc.etc. and should help make the relationship stronger but I really am unsure of what to expect from the course such as what it'll be like, the experience. It'll be a group session, apparently with approx 8-10 other couples and it's run by some married couples of the parish and the parish priest.

Has anyone else done this course and have any advice or can share their experience with me please?

Ta
x

Wow, 100 couples! That's a lot!

I agree communication is key in any relationship and being able to talk without shouting and listening to eachother too. Compromise is also important.

Is your friend doing it with the Catholic church? There are so many different formats we could've done. From a one day intensive course, a full weekend course, what we are doing or a number of short 1 hour sessions with the parish priest over 6-8 weeks.

xx

Thanks lows. I think it sounds really interesting and looking forward to doing something constructive and meaningful. I think it sounds like it'll help focus the mind on the important things of a marriage when I'm getting consumed with all the fancy wedding stuff xx

Will do, not doing it until the autumn but will update you. Compromise and two way communication is always good advice and I try to practise it too ;)

Do you have yours booked yet?
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Not sure if it's Catholic or CofE, tbh. Sorry! x

i think we have had probably one major argument though out our 6 years together, but silly little bickerings is what usually happens lol.

I'm getting married in C of E and they are offering the course...are you catholic in indreams?

Yep - I'm Catholic.

Madhen - it's mandatory, we have to do it before my parish priest will do the paperwork. I also got to get letters from all the parishes I've lived in since I was 16 to say that I've never married and am therefore free to marry.

I'm waiting for our first major row, it's gotta come one day but both of us tend to sulk and whinge more than scream and shout.

omg..thats a lot of work lol...but i can see why they do it...make it harder to marry so you appreciate it more.

Ours is worded like we have to go on our contract but the minister made it sound optional...confused

I know the Catholic church make the course mandatory but no idea about other denominations.

I am lucky in that since I was 16 I've only every lived in two parishes including the one I'm in at the moment so shouldn't be too hard. The church we're marrying in is the one my parents married in and me and my sister were baptised in and I had my first holy communion :D
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We had a 1 day session in a c of e church and it was really practical about how to compromise when you're married, what to think about if you have conflict etc, was very useful etc x

We got married in C of E and didn't even get offered marriage prep classes. Our vicar said that the majority of the time couples live together already so know what to expect and all marriage prep classes are, are to prepare you for spending each day together etc.

I don't like the sound of them, if you need telling how to live with your partner, then it makes me wonder why you want to get married. But obviously in some parishes its mandatory.. :/

xx

Are you living together? I know that if we were going to get married at my parents church we would have had to put my address down as theirs, but thats more to do with the legal side of the connection.

xx

We got married C of E and when we gave our details with the same address as each other, there were no questions asked - although I did feel terrible about it, the vicar was absolutely fine. The prep day wasn't compulsory either, our church just does one per year and invites all couples getting married to attend, but you don't have to - we had some Mr and Mrs quizzes too which were actually rather fun - and relieving when we scored quite similarly on each other! :-)

im getting married in a catholic church and my priest was fine with the fact that we have lived together for four years. he said that he doesnt believe many couples dont live together before marriage nowadays. my priest is quite upto date lol he only looks like hes in his early 40's
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Thanks ladies. Fingers crossed the priest marrying us and my parish priest doing the paperwork are as understanding as all the ones you've come across or know people have come across.

TBH, even if we're not living together, let's face it, we go on holiday together and stay with eachother most weekends he's not working! ;)

Hopefully we'll be ok.
xx

I know what you mean hun but I keep getting told stuff and panicking.

My parish priest at first wasn't happy as I actually don't attend mass there as I go to Westminster cathedral instead as it's down the road from work so it's convenient for me (I know it's a very poor excuse but at least I go weekly). I have no problem with attending at my local parish church though so will do.

Then we're giving notice on Thursday and worried registrar will be funny about getting married in church so far away out of the parish and out of the diocese even and as in one of my other threads I must worship there as my main place of worship, therefore on the phone I was told to go there a few times before we give notice, so I have done, but still worried something will not be right and they won't give H2B and I our marriage license.

The marriage license and Church are so important, without them there is no wedding :S

xx

No, you're right hun, I have done everything I can. It's a 2 hour round trip to the church, plus the 1 hour in mass makes it's 3 hours every Sunday morning (ok, I did one Saturday morning) just to go to mass in the church we're marrying in just for the marriage license, once I get that piece of paper (presuming I do get it ok) I will start going regularly to my local parish church rather than westminster cathedral (although I like going in the week so I may just do mass twice a week).

xx

Oh no hun! Communication with abuse is never acceptable.

I really am hoping it'll be a useful course. It certainly sounds interesting from what everyone has said on here xx

Evening ladies!

So ............H2B and I have completed our marriage preparation course and I have to say, I was pleasantly surprised, enjoyed the course and found it very interesting!

I'd certainly recommend it xx

They talked about marriage, what it means in the Catholic Church, understanding eachother, how eachother react to things and expect from eachother. Also, what is important to each of us so it's about knowing eachother and understanding eachother. There was a session about understanding yourself too and what you learnt in terms of relationship behaviour from your parents. Then the obligatory talk about natural family planning and praying together as a couple and a family.

It was very interesting.

Are you going to be doing a course? xx

It'll come around really fast hun.

Will your priest do the paperwork before you do the course? We had to do ours before our paperwork will get done.

xx

That is the paperwork hun lol. That bit my parish priest won't do until we had dome the marriage prep course.

I also need ot get a letter from the Churches of the parishes I've lived in to say that I'm free to marry i.e. not married before.
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Hi, I'm new to this site. Me and my h2b are getting married in February 2014 and we have been asked to attend a wedding prep day in February 2013. The vicar said that it was to 'learn about marriage' but also a time to find out about the suppliers the Church have access to for flowers etc. They have congregation members who will do wedding flowers for a donation to the Church (bargain!) Quite excited really as it's only 1 day and we get free lunch :)

My H2B is Catholic and I'm C of E. I've agreed that we'll get married in a Catholic Church as it means a lot to him.
Went to Mass yesterday (my first time), met the priest afterwards and he was lovely. He mentioned a marriage preparation course that he wants us to do, but he said not until the start of 2014 as otherwise 'we'll be ready too soon' lol

I'm looking forward to it though as it'll mean it's almost time to tie the knot!

Just to add to the paperwork, we've chosen a Church in the middle of where we both live so we need permission from my H2B Priest that we can marry in a different Parish.

Bump for Kirstylou xx