I have been planning my wedding for 2.5 years and we have a month to go! I asked my MOH back in February 2020 to be my MOH, which she accepted. Since then she hasn’t really been involved, which is fine, and has quit her job to go and live with her new boyfriend (who also doesn’t work) over 200 miles away. I have been chatting with her about how she is getting on with things and have even lent her money on occasion when she was struggling. With a month to go, she has told me that she cannot afford to stay over and also doesn’t know how she is going to get to my wedding or hen party. She has told me that her partner has addiction problems and she is the same, but neither are prepared to accept help to resolve this.
I’ve tried to chat with her to find a plan to make it work, but she isn’t prepared to find a job and just wants to borrow money from family and friends to pay for rent etc. I feel awful that I’m adding to this by asking her to be a part of my day, but equally she chose to move miles away without a single thought on how she would see friends and family.
I have suggested that I wouldn’t be offended if she felt the role was too much, or even if she wasn’t able to make it to my hen party / wedding due to her situation, however she is burying her head in the sand and won’t allow anyone to find a way out with her. I would really rather her be able to pay rent and for food, than on transport to get to my hen / wedding. I am no longer in a financial position to keep lending money to her like I have in the past.
I’m really frustrated I have had to ask her about whether she is coming to my hen party, and that she was expecting me to pay for everything for her that is hen/wedding related. The fact that we are now a month away and had no intention of telling me has annoyed me, but ultimately I really don’t want her getting into more debt in order to attend my wedding.
