Wedding Forum - Maid of Honour advice - Page 1

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  1.  
    • AmyD532
      CommentAuthorAmyD532
     
    Hello everyone,

    I have a situation with my MoH.
    Firstly I should tell you a bit about her: She's 25, just bought a house with her BF of 4 years, both have recently started new jobs, loves her fashion and make up.
    She's also very, very self absorbed which is so draining it's unreal as I like to consider myself as quite a thoughtful person with everyone else to consider before I do anything!

    Anyway, I finally booked the wedding (YAY) which is leaving me with 8 months to plan and purchase everything (Nervous YAY), went in to town with MoH yesterday evening after work and told her. She replied with "oh" and then proceeded to tell me what she was doing for halloween.
    I'm wondering about a shop and notice these little plates that would go with the theme and she said that my living room isn't even that colour so why would i buy them, I them mention that they're for the wedding, without saying a thing she walks off and picks up some fairy lights that she was disappointed with because they wouldn't suit her Christmas theme.
    Not once did she mention anything about the wedding, not a single thing, completely disinterested.
    Today, I send her a photo of a potential wedding dress style and she replied with how I won't like the neck line and that her halloween outfit didn't arrive and if another dress she owns will be suitable for her halloween outfit choice instead.
    She's not even asked the time of the ceremony or the reception venue.

    Now, I'm not expecting the MoH or other bridesmaid to drop everything and gush about how amazing this is and how fabulous that is because that's not me, I'm a minimal fuss kind of person who know's what they like and dislike. In fact, I'm probably one of the most chilled out 'brides to be' out there.

    I guess I'm after just an element of enthusiasm from the girl who's my best friend but she's been so unapproachable lately and if we do have a conversation it's always (and I mean always) about her, she's not even said that "ooh this bridesmaid dress would suit that" which is something that is related to her but to the wedding too, she's just solely 'me, me, me'.

    I've approached the advice of a bridesmaid who has suggested I give her two weeks and if she is still disinterested then tackle it from there.

    How would you even begin to tackle this though?
    Help! xo
  2.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    i would be really upset and disheartened. is she your best friend? she should be really excited, and at least interested in your wedding. Especially when shes in a long term relationship herself as hers will be heading that way soon enough too.

    Maybe arrange a bridesmaid dress shopping day and see how you get on there.

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  3.  
    • AmyD532
      CommentAuthorAmyD532
     
    @MrsC2Be

    Thank you.
    We are best friends, that's how we introduce ourselves any way. I thought she would be excited too but I've genuinely had nothing whatsoever from her.
    I like the bridesmaid shopping date idea so I'll give that a go over the next couple of weeks and see what happens.
  4.  
    • CattyS55
      CommentAuthorCattyS55
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    It does sound as if your friend is being a little bit selfish by not showing any interest, but you did say she has been unapproachable lately, could there be an underlining issue in her personal life and that is why she isn't showing any interest in your wedding. Maybe ask her? Could also be that she wants to get married and isn't engaged or even that maybe she feels things will change once you are married, so could be taking a step back with you now preparing herself. Not that these are reasonable excuses, but I do think you are best of asking her straight out if there is an issue.
  5.  
    • MrsC2Be
      CommentAuthorMrsC2Be
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    yea youll see her true colours come out then! and she will be around the other bridesmaides too so see how she acts then. she should be excited and interested and asking you lots of questions. let us know how you get on!! Just thinking could it be a jealousy thing because she wants to be engaged?! Or is it just pplain rudeness? x

    Members signature icon
    Met In Lanzarote April 2013
    Engaged In Rome February 2016
    Getting Married In Scotland May 2017
  6.  
    • FutureMrsW
      CommentAuthorFutureMrsW
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    When I was picking my potential BMs I took them to my venue for a look around, and some were completely disinterested and bored while we were there - they didn't make the cut lol I figured if they were miserable then they'd be all miserable and disinterested on the day itself. Your MoH you need to depend on the most as well, in the lead up and on the day x




  7.  
    • Emily17
      CommentAuthorEmily17
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Not what you want to hear. But she will be under a lot of pressure with new house and new job that maybe she is daunted about the added pressure of your wedding.

    The day out is a good idea as will give time for the focus to be on your wedding.

    Members signature icon
    Met in 2009
    He proposed Jan 2014
    Will become Mrs P 7th October 2017
  8.  
    • AmyD532
      CommentAuthorAmyD532
     
    Hi All,

    Thank you for all of your advice.
    I figured that potentially she could just be worried at the prospect of being a MoH and all it lives up to when she's not long moved and started her new job.
    I'm going to give her some time to readjust and settle.

    I will be suggesting to all of the bridesmaids that we go shopping or have a wine night around mine and have an opportunity to discuss any worries that we may have, i.e dresses like Rachel from Friends!
    If she's not going to be approachable, I'll make her - in the nicest way possible!

    Update to follow xx
 

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