My mum passed away very suddenly on the 13th November, I know is all still raw but i have totally lost interest in our wedding now, Don't get me wrong i still love my partner to bits, i couldn't of got through these past few weeks without him I just can't imagine our big day without my mum, My family are asking me if I'm any further on with booking my wedding and all i can think of is my mum not being there. She was so excited when we got engaged, talking about getting my dress and her outfit for the big day!
There will be other brides to be going through the same, so please!! how did you cope? I don't know what to do about it and a bit lost
I know she would want me to be happy and have the perfect day but now its not going to be perfect without her.
Did not believe in true love unitl I met my H2B
Met on the 18th April 2011
Got engaged on the 09 July 2012
Getting married on 19 April 2014
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
ok you have 16 months stll hunni and this is still quite raw! So I think you should step back away from everything wedding related and try to handle this loss as best as you can for now, weather that takes a week or even a month or two, give yourself time! She was your mum of course your going to feel differently about things so forget about them for just now! In a couple of months time then come back to wedding things and we will all be here to help with what ever you want help with
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorsuzky123
I think hails is right. Try to forget about the wedding for the time being and focus on the situation at hand. I lost my dad 5 years ago and yes it was hard on the day but we got through it. We had a good cry the night before and then started to have a joke at all the silly things he probably would have done as we know he would have tried to wind me up one way or the other (which oddly enough was the think I was crying about as I missed it) but we got it all out the night before as I stayed with my mum in the hotel. We got his photo and out him on the window overlooking us and we got him a little candle too. I hope this helps but please forget about planning for the time being, You have time so you can have a planning break and focus on your grief x
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorTori
I agree with the other posts I think you should put planning on hold for the time being, it is understandable that you have list the buzz as you need to concentrate on grieving for your mum. When the time is right to continue just remember how excited your mum was about it all.
My deepest sympathies xx
CommentAuthorRachaelC84
edited
Sorry to hear about your mum. I can't imagine how it must feel. But like you said your mum was excited about the wedding so would want to see you happy. Me and my OH got engaged a year ago and my nan was so happy for us. She was diagnosed with cancer about 2 years before we got engaged but was under control. We planned for our wedding to be 18 months later thinking my nan would be ok, unfortunately in July this year she started to go down hill and after a strong battle she passed away in September. I was devastated and wondered what if we had got married sooner but my nan probably wouldn't have been able to make it cause she was too poorly. My nan would have loved to have been at the wedding. She is buried at the church we are getting married at so she will be with us on the day. I'm sure you will get the feeling back. I lost mine and it has made time fly by. I've had to get my head on though cause only 6 months to the wedding and things need doing soon. X
Shona im so sorry to here this news but Hails is totally right, you still have plenty of time before you wedding and I think putting the wedding stuff on hold for the mometn is the best thing for you to be able to deal with everything you are going throgh at the momnet.
I understand that trying to plan wedding stuff and knowing you mum isnt going to be there is hard, I lost my mum 12 years ago on the 17th November and even now (although you may not want to know this) i still find it hard knowing she wont be there HOWEVER... I am doing everything I can to make sure she is part of my day, I am using lots of little touches that remind me of her or that was hers (I plan to wear her veil if it goes with my dress, I am getting married on her birthday so we can celebrate together, I am having a locket with her picture in my bouquet)
It will be hard at times i wont lie but she will still be with you on your special day as she will every day for the rest of ur life (im a strong believer of that) and you have to remember how excited she was at the thought of you getting married xx
sending you HUGE (((((((((((((((HUGS)))))))))))))))
we are here for you if need chat and stuff xxxx
Away with the flutterbys xxx
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
sorry to hear about your mum huni but you still have plenty of time to deal with the wedding, take all the time you need to get over your recent loss and then get back to wedding plannign when you feel like you want to. No rush (((((HUGS))))) xx
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthorButtonAndBoo
I'm soo sorry to hear about your mam. I couldn't imagin my wedding without my parents been there and when I found out about my dad's illness, that was enough to kill me inside, it was the first thought that went through my head - will he be there for my wedding. So I can't send you enough sympathy for your loss.
What you need to do is forget about all wedding stuff. Foucs on your loss. It must be hard on you and the rest of your family. Give yourself time.
When you fainly feel ready to contunie wedding planning (only do it when your ready) just remember your mam will be there in you and in spirt, she will be looking down on you with joy.
Your other half will understand you leaving the wedding planning until your ready for it. Main thing to remeber is don't try and cope with it all on your own.
X
CommentAuthorsukiedoo
Sorry to hear about your mum. Nothing I can say to help you get through this, except at some point you'll get your wedding buzz back, and then you can do it for your mum. She will be proud looking down on you on the big day.
4/4/2013 I'm marrying my true love, blending two families
A dream come true
CommentAuthorMrsA-J
Sorry to hear about your mum. Im sure your mum will be watching over you on your big day and will be very proud!
Even though it doesnt seem it Im sure you will get the spirit back after a few months.
xxx
CommentAuthorVictoriaE35
So sad reading your post.
The ladies are right. Forget the wedding for now, take time for yourself to come to terms with your mothers passing.
Your wedding date can be moved or you can just do it in the last few months B4, We planned ours and sorted everything in a very short time.
I can not tell you everything will be ok as I have never been in your situation but one thing I do know is planning your wedding and getting married is not the most important thing in the world and sound like your h2b would understand that too x x x
hugs xx
CommentAuthorPenguinJ
So sorry, I couldnt imagine what it is like to be in your position right now. Yeah everyone is right, you have plenty of time to arrange things so just step back and allow yourself some time to deal with this tragic loss. Take time out with your oh to heal then when you are ready carry on hugs and thoughts xxx
