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  1.  
    • GemmaF238
      CommentAuthorGemmaF238
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Hi Everyone,

    Some back ground info..

    Me and H2B have been together nearly 8 years, we are currently living at home with his parents (we have lived together while renting for a year and half) however in order to save for our own house and of course the wedding we decided to move home.. I have no problem with this as I get on so well with the in-laws

    We are getting married August 2015 and we had every intention to have saved up enough to move out either just before/after the wedding.. however I think we all realise how hard it is sticking to our 'written out plans'.. as easy as it is to write plans out, life gets in the way and I for one has written a new 'money/saving' plan/budget many many times due to unforeseen events such as weddings or H2B needing a new car etc or just life in general..

    so as it stands we are now looking to move out around October-December after the wedding.. we feel we would rather wait and be financially ready than move out too soon and struggle..

    However today at work someone mentions that once we are married we shouldn't be living at home with parents and should have moved into our own home by then.. I know this is how it is 'meant' to happen but for us it just isn't realistic..

    I would just like some peoples views on this matter, as I am now a little disheartened..

    xx




  2.  
    • ElizabethF49
      CommentAuthorElizabethF49
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Everyone's situation is different Alan and I have lived together for 8 1/2 year by the time we get married and we have Connor who will be almost 6 at that time too. I couldn't imagine living with my MIL for any length of time HOWEVER if we needed to for long term gain then I would consider it.

    in the grand scheme of things its only going to be for 4 months MAX after the wedding you live with the Inlaws and if it means you can afford a better/bigger place then so be it. you never know things may change in your favour and you could move out sooner. If your happy were you are living at the moment continue to do so until your financially viable to move out why put more pressure on yourselves x

    Members signature icon
    After 7 years and 11 months he proposed to me 18.10.13
    Our son is 5 years old and our world
    Getting married 15.08.15.
    Life hasnt been easy but we have each other :)
  3.  
    • DonnaH39
      CommentAuthorDonnaH39
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I have to agree with Elizabeth, your only looking at still living there for another 4 months after the wedding... yeah in an ideal world you would have your own place to move into before the wedding or even to move into just after the wedding so you could start your married life there, however, we don't always live in an ideal world and what would be better for you, either moving out sooner and struggling a little for money and being uncomfortable as you can't afford everything you need.... also you'd have the extra stress and worry of that in the run up to the wedding OR still live with the in laws for a few more months but move when you can afford everything you need and be more comfortable?




  4.  
    • Flossie
      CommentAuthorFlossie
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    As said above, everyone is different and we all have different circumstances, different views and different ways of doing things. I don't think anyone should be able to judge. It may not be ideal but is life ever ideal?! Xx

    Members signature icon
    Happily married
    18th June 2016
    xx
  5.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    everyones situations are differnt as has already been pointed out above! Htbs brother and his gf lived with his parents for about a year while they sorted their new house out. I for one would rather forgo the wedding than live with the inlaws, if we had to Id sooner us live seperate, me at my mums him at his (or with me at my parents) as I just couldn't imagine anything worse than living with his parents lol. But if you are both happy to do this, who is it for anyone else to judge?

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  6.  
    • Linzi-jo
      CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are similar, we will be moving in with my parents this Monday in order to allow us to save up to buy our first house together. We get married three weeks tomorrow and will probably end up staying with my parents for about two years before we can actually afford somewhere of our own. Loads of people have to do this at the moment because it is just impossible to save up large amounts of money for most people if they are also having to pay out for rent and bills etc. and others have lost their jobs and can't afford to keep living In their own home so it is nothing to be ashamed of :) just ignore other people, they should keep their opinions to themselves if you ask me! Xxx

    Members signature icon
    Got together 14.02.2008
    Got engaged 31.12.2010
    Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
  7.  
    • VictoriaL46
      CommentAuthorVictoriaL46
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Why do people in this world seem to think it's okay to make people feel bad about life decisons? crikey, it's only in the last few generations that people STOPPED living with one of the couples parents after the wedding. As long as you are all happy with the arrangement then what does it matter? Nowadays getting onto the property ladder is a struggle and you don't want to do it willy nilly. Take your time and save so you know you will be able to afford what you want.

    Members signature icon
    Met in Nov 2005
    Engaged 13th June 2013
    Becomes Mrs Stewart on 10th Aug 2015 Honeymoon in Florida!
    My Diary Thread: My Alice in Wonderland Wedding Diary
  8.  
    • AmandaK74
      CommentAuthorAmandaK74
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Every situation is individual, your colleagues are just putting their own opinion across and im sure they dont mean harm by it. You are doing what is best for you and your circumstances. Its nothing to do with anyone else.
    I would like to wish you all the best whatever happens x

    met 11th December 2010
    engaged 2nd August 2013
    getting married to the love of my life 11th july 2015
  9.  
    • WelshBrideBethan2015
      CommentAuthorWelshBrideBethan2015
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    These are the years of boomerang kids as in we all leave home but some have to go back due to money or other stuff and sometimes they take partners too, everyone has an opinion and I bet if they were in your situation it would soon change.
    Just focus on your goals and when you reach them I'm sure others opinions will show how much they didn't matter :) x

    Members signature icon
    Somehow always connected , finally became friends .
    Friends became soul mates :)
    Engaged 6th July 2013
    <3 <3 Married my best friend 11/7/2015 <3 <3
  10.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You need to do what works for you. As long as your in-laws respect your space as husband and wife I don't see a problem, provided you're happy. There's no should or shouldn't. Far better to get yourself into a good financial position than feel under pressure to find your own place.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  11.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
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    Do what you need to do to give yourselves the best start... You're braver than most Hun x

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  12.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I don't think i could live with my inlaws, but would happily live with my mum, if we did not have our daughter, we lived with my mum for about a year before we had our daughter, just wish we had saved more then when we could of.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  13.  
    • CommentAuthorJessica29792
      Posted: Aug 8th 2014
      BadgeBadge
     
    I wouldn't worry too much about it. At the end of the day you need to know that you will be financially secure when you finally get your own place. Your story is actually very similar to mine. We moved into rented accommodation after we got engaged and had our daughter and then moved back home with my parents 6 months after as we hated the house and we wanted to save for our own home. We were living with my parents for about 7 months when we finally got our own home. It was a bit of a nightmare when we did live with our parents because it was like two families under one roof, both of which had different rules etc. so we did clash sometimes, obviously, but it was a massive massive help! We wouldn't have been able to save up nearly as much as we did if it wasnt for them allowing us to move back in with them. I don't think it would be much different as a married couple tbh but just be aware that it might cause arguments between your parents and also between yourself and your h2b. I hope everything turns out OK for you both! Don't take too much heed in what others say about living with your parents. It's better than struggling or buying a house that you regret because you felt you were pressured into buying the first one just to get out of your parents! Do what you feel comfortable with x
  14.  
    • AprilS61
      CommentAuthorAprilS61
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 9th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    We are doing exactly the same. I moved into their homes year ago after a falling out with my mam and have been here since. We get married in April, will be going on honeymoon in about augusttime and the time after that will be purely dedicated to save for a house. We will probably just be renting just so we can get out and have our home as a married couple sooner rather than staying longer to save for a large deposit. We're probably looking at about a year after we get married unfortunately. I can't wait to move out and enjoy our life together but you gotta do what you gotta do!

    Members signature icon
    Mr & Mrs Swan 04/04/15


  15.  
    • TanyaS78
      CommentAuthorTanyaS78
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 9th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I wouldnt worry about it hunni. Me and the OH lived at my mums for a month or 2 whilst we were house hunting. If this is something you need to do, then go for it. I wouldnt pay too much attention to what anyone else says. Its better for you to be financially ready when it comes to moving.
  16.  
    • Tori
      CommentAuthorTori
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 10th 2014
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    If it works for you then it is nobody else's business hen. No point rushing to move out and it will be something to look forward to after the wedding x




  17.  
    • MrsLJDeaton
      CommentAuthorMrsLJDeaton
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 10th 2014
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    This day and age married couples are living with their parents due to moving out is not visible its too expensive and stressful i know lots of couples living with their parents and some have children yes who am i to judge we live with h2bs mum she doesn't want us to move out and we don't want to move out apart from when you feel a spat coming on with the mil you wish you had your on house or if things are tense but you get over it on with life

    Members signature icon
    Started going out 23.10.2010 met at Barnet college <3 X
    Engaged 23.08.2012 In Turkey Our 1st Holiday Together <3 X
    To be Mrs Lana Jocelyn Deaton on 23.10.2015 5 years the day
    Jamiroquai Arthur Gordon Deaton Born 29/05/2015 My Son Jammy
  18.  
    • TheFutureMrsK
      CommentAuthorTheFutureMrsK
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 10th 2014
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    As everyone else said everyones situation is different and everyone prioritises things differently. it depends what's more important to you. My h2b and I saved and moved into our house before saving for the wedding. Whereas I understand it means a lot to other people to get married before living together. It's whatever works for you and if you're happy with your in laws then don't let anyone else's opinion bother you xxx

    “Love, n. A temporary insanity curable by marriage.”
    -Ambrose Bierce

  19.  
    • CharlotteE98
      CommentAuthorCharlotteE98
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Aug 11th 2014
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Having been in a similar situation (we lived in H2B's Nan's old house after she bought a flat, rent free, to save up for a house of our own) I kind of know how you feel. We had been planning on getting married a few years ago but aforementioned house purchase got in the way :o/ I personally found it very frustrating as even though we were technically house sitting, H2B's Nan still owned it, had most of her furniture still in it and it was still seen as the 'family home' so H2B's parents could still come and go as they pleased as they still had a key. It was worth all the hassle though as we have our very own house now :o)

    You do what you feel is best for you. If your in laws are happy to have you there and it means you can save for your dream house then go for it! There's no rule book that dictates how long you live with your in laws after you're married.
  20.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 7 years ago
      Posted: Aug 11th 2014
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    Everyone has a different situation in life so you do what is right for you.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

 
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