Wedding Forum - Laughing all the way to the CSA :P...

My youngest's dad has no interest in her, which is bad enough, but has also not paid any maintenance for almost 2 years now after he was made redundant and so contacted the CSA to stop payments... fine - but then when he started working again, he didn't contact them to let them know so that a new calculation could be made! When they started chasing him for income info at my request 6 months later (because I am very good friends with his sister and so knew he was working), he ignored all correspondence and didn't send in any income details.

We're now at almost 18 months later, with a lot of stress for me because the CSA have effectively mismanaged their part, but not helped by the fact that he has changed jobs a couple of times and each time a new trace has had to be put in via the Inland Revenue to find him again... but... they have now managed to do a calculation and a payment schedule will be through shortly

Even better.... all the arrears to date (and it goes all the way back to when they first found new income details for him in October 2009) *have* to be paid off within the next two years, which means that effectively we're looking at an additional income of around £100 per week! Needless to say we're all really pleased about this - and I'm so happy that it's through because at least it takes the burden off Steve a little

Yay, that's a fantastic result. It makes me really mad when parents aren't prepared to financially support their children!! I understand if they are out of work and can't afford to pay, but if he is now working he should be paying maintenance :-)

In your case I would say that is great news as he was working and had the means to pay for his daughter so he should have been doing that a long time ago. I would say though that the CSA are not always fair. My friend has a daughter with one guy and then had another son with her new partner. He had two kids from his previous marriage and although prepared to pay for his kids as he was the only earner in the household they took a big percentage of his wages so that his wages would not cover the bills and the food for his new family. The CSA told them that the first born kids are more important than any others and that is the way it is. In the end he left work and went to uni while my friend worked as they couldn't touch her wages. They still paid towards the kids but just not through the CSA and the money went on the kids and not to his ex who had a brand new car/house/4 holidays a year etc. It doesn't always work out fairly.

Jo - I'm well aware that it's not always fair, and we are at the other end of the spectrum as well - Steve had a private agreement with his ex-wife as to how much he would pay in maintenance for their son since she had left him with huge credit card bills to pay off - she decided a couple of years ago that she wanted more money, despite the fact that we were having William more often and so involved the CSA... not disputing that Steve should pay for William mind, only that there was already an agreement in place but the ex got greedy - and since the debt she left was credit card bills which are now in Steve's sole name we couldn't even argue them down and we've ended up paying out double what had already been agreed on top of still having the debt! We've spent the last couple of years trying to dig out of so much debt (and can now see the light at the end of the tunnel) while she's been jetting off on holidays to Thailand and Goa etc., leaving William with us every time she goes away, shelling out on designer clothes - and still trying to plead poverty with us! Needless to say, the fact that my ex will now have to start paying for Megan again is a big relief!

im having trouble at the moment trying to get any kind of payment at all off of my little girls father...she is nearly 3 and has never paid a penny towards bringing her up and i can count on one hand the amount of packs of nappies he has brought since she was born.I talked to him the other day again about payments as my hours in work are about to go up and the nursery fees will be killer and he basically turned around and said its your problem you deal with it!! my now partner is as good as gold and has offered to help with nursery fees and is absolutely brilliant with my little girl..I just feel sorry for her real dad as he doesnt want to spend any extra time with her or be there for her special moments (i.e first xmas play) all of this and he is working and is on a good wage as he works privately for his dads business..i havent tried the csa route but after his response on friday iam feeling certainly that is now our only option.. but then to be honest with you if an arrangement was set up i know he wouldnt continually pay.

I had a rubbish experience with the CSA. Ex built up arrears of over £3000 then was reassessed at his own request. They said he didn't have to pay anymore money and also wrote off his arrears.
I have asked them many times over the years and just get told he doesn't have to pay anything, but they aren't allowed to give me a reason (confidentiality).
So in 11 years I have received nothing.
I'm pleased that it has worked out for you and can understand how much difference that money will make.

Not read all the replies so sorry if i post out of line
Pennieb that sounds great and i really hope you get somewhere, however, what i want to say to you is to not get your hopes up and not to count on the money. Dont plan anything about what you will spend it on until it is actually in your account, dont expect it, treat is as a plesent bonus.
I say these things from bitter experience spanning the last 3 yrs. The csa have been chasing ex for details etc and then they calculate it and then regular as clock work theres a change in his circumstances.
Sadly even with a court order to deduct from earnings, there is a loophole in the system, the whole thing is calculated as a percentage of their wage, so all they have to do is change their wage by even an hour a week, they can register change of circumstances and every time it takes about 12 weeks. They cant really enforce it if he is determined not to pay, so i hope he pays up willingly. Good luck to you.

Thanks for the heads up blondmumma, and we've been having problems for ages already because of change of circumstances issues, but this is the first time we've managed to get to calculation in 2 years! And I know that right now he can't afford to do anything to his wages because he and his partner are in the middle of planning and paying for a lavish wedding this summer in cyprus - and if he did start messing around again I'm sure his dad would have a word about responsibility since I only just found out that his dad has had no idea that he has been deliberately avoiding it! (his dad is the type who thinks that you should man up and take responsibility lol). Fingers crossed anyway... just wish I could have seen his face when the calculation came through though :P