Hi everybody, could do with a little advice. Myself and my partner have 2 children (1 being my step child) and have decided that we only want them at the wedding as we think children would get bored and many of our friends have 3 children between then, which will cost a lot more for food and we are really trying to budget. We have also decided that we won't be having any children at the evening party too. Our reason being we don't want our children/other children around drunken people (because our friends and family are heavy drinkers). Do you think our guest would be offend when we tell them? Or should we change our mind and have children?
Any advice would be helpful as i'm really stuck on what to do. xxx
CommentAuthorKaya
I sooo don't want children there, but h2b wanted them, as he didn't wanna upset any of his fam. GRRRRRRR. Never mind upsetting me!
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorprincessnat1977
We was in the same boat, we have 3 boys and h2b brother has 2 children who are our pb and fg. If we thought we could we wouldnt have any other children at the wedding as you say they get bored. I know most of my family who have young children will relish the thought of having a night off so prob wont have many of mine there but we dont want to upset anyone with this one so have decided whatever anyone wants to do is fine with us. Dont think Ive helped tbh but good luck xxxx
CommentAuthorLisa Ramos
Unfortunately some people will be offended, but you shouldn't let other people dictate how you plan your wedding.
I love my lickle Ava
CommentAuthorMagicFairies
Lots of people on here have decided to do adult only invites. i think it's fair because you don't know the kids and as you say they can get bored anyway. Just make sure you make it clear who is/ isn't invited when you do invitations because some people appear to get confused that not everyone wants hundreds of little darlings at their wedding. It might help to explain that you are only including children who are close relatives or just state that only your children will be there, that way no one has to feel like you are directly avoiding their children. good luck xxx
most of our family and friends have got 3 kids each and we have 3 between us so we are having kids at our wedding and we are a big family and got a small buget but we have noticed that a few of our friends have got back to us and said that they are getting babysitters some for the whole day and some for the evening so we are lucky but if you dont want children at your wedding then just make sure you write it clearly on the invite but i think weddings are a family affair
CommentAuthorsbride
this is something that has been digusted on here alot. Personally when I go out anywhere I prefer to not take the children with me, but i know some people dont go anywhere without their children. So some people will be offended, but its your wedding so you do things your way.
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorKaya
All my friends/fam are getting babysitters, but all his are bringing kids....
Now Mrs Cobb!!!!!! :-D
CommentAuthorMrs Brakes
We're only having niece and nephew and I'm hoping that they leave early as they are both a pain in the a55 when they are not the centre of attention. We made sure to tell all friends who have kids about 10 months ago, most of them are fine as they will have a night out without the kids and the ones who aren't won't come. It's your wedding and therefore your choice.
Got married 11/11/11.
CommentAuthorcj
we decided not to, to start with but then we fort it was a bit harsh to invite some kids and not others so no we have bout 20 kids :o x
Waited 10years to be with my beautiful bride to be
cant wait for the day i can call you my wife 17/04/12
soon to be mr & mrs bennett-rivers
CommentAuthorFeb..bride2012
Thank you for the advice ladies. It's really helped, I think I am just going to stick with my own children and let people know in advance (like now) that children will not be invited and that my own children will be leaving the party early. I think your right when you say most people prefer a night out without the kids anyway. I myself have attened wedding when my children have been invited but have not took them. So thank you all for helping me decide :D xx
CommentAuthornickers
were not havimg kids except family ones so that will only be 3 its ur choice hun xx
MRS RICHARDSON HERE
LOVE MY LITTLE FAMILY MY GORGEOUS SON
AND HANDSOME HUSBAND XXXX
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
u just tell them ure only havin close family kids hun! its ure weddin so ure choice!
me and h2b hav no kids... we are havin my nephew - he be 3 and my pageboy, his uncles 2 kids they be 6 and 8 and be my bridesmaids, then his other uncles kids they are 16,14,12,9,6! and thats it!! i know his uncles kids will stay for night do cos all their babysitters will be at our wedding lol
the younger bridesmaid mite be gettin picked up around 8ish so his uncle ( whos his bm too) can hav a nice nite, and my neohew mite be all depends
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorCarrieanne
I've had the exact same issue, see my "held to ransom" thread. We have no kids, buy my h2b sister has 2 who are going to be pb and fg. We've invited only close relatives (all h2b side as I've a really small family) children so there will be 7 of them (2 are over 10yrs) and I made it perfectly clear that we just couldn't acommodate all the other children mostly due to the maximum numbers for the day being 80 and if we did invite all the children then there would be more children than adults. Not paying that kind of money for a child to push an expensive dinner about and not bother eating it. Everyone but one of my guests understood this from the outset but my best mate is laying it on thick now that she and her partner have split. (She was married to one of my best friends of 15 years and had an affair with younger guy who then dumped her when she had the baby by him!)
I agree, you will offend someone. But that is their problem, you can't please all of the people all of the time. I think so long as you make it clear now you can refer back to it nearer the wedding to say sorry but I did say. Not one other person whom I've invited has assumed their child(ren) are invited and in fact when I've had to go back round all of the invitees to say the exact same thing again, everyone else is glad to be having a night away from the children and not having to leave early etc to sheild them from the drinking lol.
Stick to your guns hon, I am. Might have some people make a big deal out of it but that just shows that they don't appreciate that it is your day and not theirs. Luck xxx
CommentAuthorAbbi
Its your wedding, people will likely get offended but thats their problem - not yours. We are having a fair few kids at ours as well as our own two children. I cant stand other peoples children so if I didnt have any of my own Id deinitely have a no kid rule!
CommentAuthorsteph
At the end of the day it's gonna be your day so invite who u want! Me n h2b have decided we are only gonna invite family children, im also thinking of having a sweet stand so they can fill themselves up on sweets instead of buffet food and knacker themselves out running around from the sugar rush!! lol :) x
CommentAuthorFass
You should have the day, that you and H2b want to. At the end of the day some audult guests, may even love the idea of a night off from their children. As for us we have 20kids at our wedding, and a further 10 turning up for the evening do!. But as we have 5 children between us, we'd have it no other way x
Can not wait to be Mrs Wickham
CommentAuthorMrsPink
We are having kids as we think kids make a wedding we enjoy them and want them there. We have 2 children ourselves too. xxx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
we are having mr lala`s nieces and nephew ... and thats it . all cousins etc have already been told this is an adult wedding .....i dont want kids running around or sliding acrossthe floor etc
We are having kids as we have 2 ourselves and 4 close family. As to the eve we have left it up to the parents as they will be the ones looking after them and our eve guest numbers aren't so restricted. But I think it's your day and in this case I think you should be free to decide.xx
CommentAuthorSazzell23
edited
I've got this problem too! Got ages till my wedding and when I sent the save the dates recently I was very careful who I addressed them to. I sent one to my aunt and uncle only addressed to them but not one to my cousin who is married with a baby and doesnt live with them. Even so, when I saw my aunt the other day (for the first time in 3 years) she has assumed that are all invited!! I last saw my cousin when she was about 6 years old and we have no contact whatsoever!!! AWKWARD!! Might have to get my mum to sort that one out for me hehehe!
CommentAuthorUnknown
we are only having neices and nephews at ours and even tonight chasing up rsvps we have had people ask if they can bring children and we have just said no sorry, we cant have children xx
CommentAuthormuffypat
Most people will be offended but at the end of the day it's your day you are paying for it so people should respect your wishes! there may be some people who refuse to come but at the end of the day it's their loss not yours, personally i will be inviting kids as i have seen this issue raised in at least 10 weddings previously but mine is buffet only and at the end of the day if i had kids i'd be more than happy to ditch them for the night to have a good old party, stick to what you want xx
CommentAuthorkimmy
Mention it early, they have no excuse not to get a babysitter!!!
CommentAuthorLiza247
I'm only having my nieces and nephews at the day reception because if we asked all our cousins children & friends kids it ends up been a kid fest and will have to limit how many friends we invite. We would rather have friends than an additional 20 children. Me & the h2b dont have any children of our own either, at the end of the day it's your wedding and your the one paying for it so the choice should be yours. Stick to your guns and don't get backed into a corner lol!!
CommentAuthorPaula
People will be offended if you ask them not to bring their children and some will even say they cant come if they cant bring the children. I have four children and am allowing others to bring theirs but I am attending a friends wedding in august and I am not taking my children through personal choice different if i was a family wedding I was attending for those attending all day it might be hard to get a baby sitter and your children might not be as bored if they have other kids to place with x
CommentAuthorlil miss sunshine
IMO weddings is a time for family and friends to celebrate your union, kids are a big part of that make up and not inviting them can make life hard for some guest, i've invited whole families kids and all to my wedding but at the end of the day is's your wedding so you decide who you want to invite and weather or not you want to have kids there as well
and now the next chapter
CommentAuthorGazza 122
After thinking about our guest list, and numbers for budget planning...we realised if we invited all the kids, ...we would have like 40 odd kids there....and would end up like a kids birthday party..i love kids, have 2 of my own, and work with kids all day everyday...
We have a max capacity limit, so if we did invite the kids....we would miss out so many other guests we would love to invite, because of this reason only, we made the decision to have immediate family kids only, we now have 9 kids in total, thats enough for me!
As long as you stick to ur guns with all the kids and not say some can come and others cant, i am sure you will be ok...plenty of notice for the parents so they can arrange sitters, you will probably find that the parents would love a day/night off!
CommentAuthoruna
We are also having no children, we feel parents can then let their hair down and not worry. We are having our niece and godson as flower girl and pageboy though, although they are leaving after the meal. Everyone has been really great with it as we gave them notice and were honest about it. :)
CommentAuthorIgnition
No, I'm sure they won't. It's your wedding and your choice. xx
Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
Having a Fun Fair Reception
It's going To Be Awesome
Roll On The 15th September 2012
CommentAuthorclive
Firstly, and most importantly, this is your wedding, your day, end of:-)
My take on kids is, that they can make a wedding. If you're worried about the boredom issue, then, depending on their ages , set aside a table full of board games, colouring books etc, you name it. They will keep themselves amused for hours. Also, you could delegate an older child to look after the younger ones? He\she will feel really important!
I really wouldn't worry about the drunken issue either-kids in general are very inquisitive I agree, and they will know it is a celebration, so folk will get drunk, but they will just take the mick lightheartedly if someone has a few too many:o)
Personally, If it were me in your situation, I would invite kids to your reception. As others have said, it will cause a lot less aggro and you will offend people if you don't.
Also, if your'e concerned about the budget, have a chat with the reception venue. I'm sure they will allow kids in for free if under a certain age?
HTH xx
CommentAuthorIgnition
That is a good idea Clive. We weren't going to have kids at our Wedding, but now were having a Fun Fair on the Recpetion Venue car park, so it allows plenty for the kids to do. xx
Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
Having a Fun Fair Reception
It's going To Be Awesome
Roll On The 15th September 2012
CommentAuthorclive
precisely!;-) Most venues cater for kids nowadays anyway (i.e. crazy golf, tennis, footie etc) so you can't go wrong really:o)
CommentAuthorclive
Oh, and if you are looking for a really brilliant idea, check out the "kids photo hunt"thread. Maybe out of reach if your budget is tight, but it will give you an idea!;-)
CommentAuthorIgnition
The photo hunt is something I was thinking of doing myself as well. It is such an excellent idea. xx
Can't wait to be Mrs Mansfield
Having a Fun Fair Reception
It's going To Be Awesome
Roll On The 15th September 2012
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
I am having as little children as possible
H2B has a son and hes inviting his neice and cousins daughter.
i have no younger kids on my side, youngest is 14 now!
I am inviting a couple of my mates kids for the evening as they are the same ages as H2Bs son and hopefully they can keep each other company!
xxx
CommentAuthorSheWolf
I really wanted a child free wedding, but have since changed my mind after going to my cousin's. No child was badly behaved... except my cousin's two boys. ESSENTIALLY I am happy for children to be there, except the two of them but it will be very difficult to say that and I don't think I'll get away with it. She just lets them run around, do what they like, eat what they like, and they're nasty violent little sods.
Just tell people no kids, I think you have to just be blunt about it. x
CommentAuthorhjl2001uk
No kids for us. Has caused problems and soem ppl have said they won't come but that's their decision. It's our wedding and we only want adults there. x
Can't wait to be the better half of
MR & MRS SMITH
Brad and Angelina eat your heart out!
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
edited
I agree with the above in my opinion kids make a wedding!!! I have a HUGE family and most of my cousins have kids and there kids have kids etc etc plus i have 3 of my own so kids are a very important part of our day! Not inclding the 6 in the bridal party we have about 14 coming. Like you tho i am very aware of them getting bored tho. So i have LOTS of things for the kids to do......candy toss, kids photo hunt (thanks for the amazing comments above guys hehehe), my mum has a bounchy castle so im gonna see if the venue will allow it and i have some giant games for outside like chess (being november we have cornored off a section of the room to play these games incase its too cold outside) as well as little goodie bags with lots of things they can do while sat at a table for during the breakfast!
BUT saying all that it is your day so invite who you want hunni. Unfortantly some will be offended and will try to change your mind but stay strong and stick to what YOU want!!!
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
i have been to loads of weddins wivout kids and they r just as gud! i personally dont want my dancefloor filled wiv kids! i want adults enjoyin themselfs not scared to hurt any little ones lol
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorKaz
Having my 3, my nephew and 2 of my cousins kids 3 but that's it to the day! And I'm only having my cousins kids because they live other end of country to me, some 170 miles and will have to find accomodation! No other kids to the day, they are welcome to bring them to the evening though!
WARNING:
I say the first thing I think of!
CommentAuthorkimmy
Strictly immediate family kids only!!!!!
CommentAuthorMrscarter2b
I'm only having my two boys (10 and 14) and nephew (8) there would be far too many children if we allowed our guests to bring them as almost all our guests have at least 2!! To be honest everyone has been great about it and I am allowing them to the evening reception but tbh they're all quite happy to have a day and night off. They've had plenty of notice to organise childcare and the money we've saved on not having children there means we can give our guests some extra treats x
CommentAuthormym72
Both of us were happy to have kids at our wedding - but it's turned out to be an adult only wedding. My bm has a four yr old son (she's partner of h2b's cousin), and my cousin has two sons (one 9yrs old and one 6yrs old).
They've all decided that their grandparents are looking after them for the weekend - probably because it saves travelling with them (we're getting married 130 miles from home) and the biggest reason - so they can all have a drink (or three) and relax lol.
We're having an evening reception when we're back in Leeds though, and inviting everyone, even children.
CommentAuthorNatashaParkes
I know the feeling! we have 2 daughters who will be 4 and 2yrs old (both fg). My family is quite large and is big on having children at every family event. H2B's fam doesn't really have any small children children and they don't see half of them anyway. H2B was adamant not to have children at the wedding mainly due to his mom going on about it. I on the other hand wanted children there because of my up bringing. Eventually after a lot of talking I got round to H2B's way of thinking that you don't know how they're going to act during the service. They won't eat the very expensive 3 course meal that you pay for and they get tired and grumpy at the evening so parents are not relaxed and have to leave early. So we decided to only have our DDs and anyone over 18. To my surprise all but 1 of my family members were completely fine with it!! I did have basically an argument with my cousin about her not bringing her (will then be 2 1/2 yro) son with her nearly refusing not to come if he wasn't allowed. but at the end of the day its YOUR wedding and you need to do what will be good for you. if people have a problem with it... and no doubt there will be at least 1 its tough. if they love you they will be there for you regardless! Just to let you know I am a complete wuss when it comes to stuff like this and got my mom to speak to most of the family lol... i'm just now dreading telling that same cousin and her brother that their partner's can't come due to numbers :S
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
hun i have been quite vocal on my veiw point we are having only Mr lala`s 3 nieces and his nephew and tbh that only because we have to ... other than that we are having no children ,we have tols people from the outset about this ....so if they can find one person to look afetr chidren for one evening they wont be coming
