We were in town out and on our way to bus stop OH started complaining that he don't go out often enough and can't wait to go out soon and more often with his workmate I started to say it'd be best if it was on Saturdays cause they always plan it on Fridays and a few years ago I got mugged and now I am feeling insecure to walk in narrow alleyway on my own at iChat, and every Friday OH comes pick me up at station when I finish work late 9pm so if he was going out on that day dunno how I'd get home then he went off left me waiting in my own at bus stop (feeling once more freaked out) and we were on same bus after that, he ignored me and now at home he won't go talk to me even if I texted him saying I miss him he won't come until "I" cool off, I didn't even shout or whatever, am just crying. Do you think it is stress cause wedding is so close or we just aren't compatible.
Sorry for long rant I got no one to turn to
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
edited
I dont understand why he is in a mood? You haven't told him you don't want him going out, just that it would be better on a Saturday! And if he really wanted to go on Friday's then surely he could go out after picking you up? I dont think you are non-compatible, I think h2b may have got the wrong end of the stick thinking that you don't want him to go out at all.
Try and calm down and stop crying as I know from my own experience, men dont like to talk to crying women as we make them feel uncomfortable! lol So calm down a bit and then go and speak to him and find out what it is that is upsetting him. When you know, maybe you can come up with a compramise?
I hope you work it out hun xxxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
That's exactly what I suggested but it's not good enough for him as they go out from 5.30/6pm so by the time he'd have to come pick me up he'd be drunk and we live very far from where they go out so HE would not be prepared to do it. I tried to explain that because I have planned everything about our wedding and am now helping about his stag do (communicating between organiser and FIL) and because I am still shaken up from our car accident and physically not 100% if he could just do this pick me up then go out all night but he won't I am really miserable
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
Oh no :( Well the other option is that he goes out and doesn't drink! After all you have gone through there is plenty of reason for you to feel the way you do! He needs to understand just how scary it is out there for a woman on her own, especially at night! I got followed on a train all the way to my front door by a man a few months ago, and after that my h2b got on the train with me whenever I needed to and we have since moved closer so I dont have to get the train at all anymore. He needs to be prepared to make some sacrafices for you. That comes as being part of a couple, and at the end of the day your safety is more important than alchol! Imagine how he would feel if anything bad did happen to you again all because he wanted to go out with his mates! I am sure if he explained this to his mates they would have no problem doing a saturday night instead. It is understandable that you are feeling miserable and upset hun, as I said you have been through a lot and planning a wedding is a very stressful time! Just make sure you think about all the good things every now and again aswell :) xxxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorhigginszajac
Hi sorry yur feeling this way so close to your wedding, if you cant talk to him why not write him a letter saying how it makes you feel walking down that way after you were mugged, maybe you could have a friend or family member pick you up on the friday nights he goes out or could you get a taxi on that night xx
i think h2b is being very unreasonable, men can be very selfish sometimes and you need him to support you whilst you are getting over your accident etc... i dont see the problem with him going out after he has picked you up or even on the Saturday. Who goes out at 5:30 anyways??? thats way too early! he needs to stop being selfish and grow up to be able to reach a compromise. Its not like youve told him he cant go out with his mate - he needs to get a grip! Dont let him upset you, you've done nothing wrong! x
Cant wait to become Mrs Purdie x x x x
May 4th 2013 - The day i get to marry my best friend
CommentAuthorPB
Sounds to me as if h2b is panicking a little bit.He is about to get married and now he thinks you are telling him what he can and cannot do! Once he calms down and stops being so defensive surely he will realise that you are not trying to do this and apologise and assure you that he will always be available to keep you safe-thats what husbands do! If he doesn't then i would wonder whether i wanted to be with someone who would put a night out ahead of my safety xxx
CommentAuthorlh2404
Perhaps as a compromise, if he wants to go out on a Friday night you could arrange a lift with someone else when you finish work late? Or even get a taxi from the station to your home.
Obviously your safety is important but does it have to be your h2b that picks you up? I don't think he is being unreasonable in wanting to go out on a Friday night. Marriage is about compromise but it shouldn't always be your h2b that makes the compromises and sacrifices. It's a two way street.
CommentAuthorKylee27
I think Poulton bride is right. It's just nerves starting to kick in.
Can't wait to be married!
CommentAuthorJoanna
I agree with Poulton bride. I think he is being very unreasonable as your safety is more important than going out and getting drunk! I don't understand why he can't pick you up and then go out, 5.30 is ridiculously early to go out anyway. I think him going out on a saturday night is a compromise, as i think even getting a taxi as a woman by herself is a bit intimidating. You haven't told him he can't go out, so i don't understand why he's acting so childish to be honest. Try and talk to him when you've both calmed down a bit and see if he understands what you are saying. Hope it all gets sorted for you xx
The greatest thing you'll ever learn
is just to love and be loved in return
CommentAuthorOWB
I agree with lh2404, your safety is paramount but if his friends are out on a Friday then a Saturday night out isn't much use to him. If he only plans to go out once in a while on a Friday then ask him to pay for a taxi for you.
I don't think it means you're incompatible though, if this is the only thing you've locked horns on then it just needs to be ironed out.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorMorgsysGirl(kempy)
hope things have calmed down this morning? xx
Married my soul mate 22-6-2012
Conceived baby 3 on our wedding day!
Due 15-3-2013 baby will join our two other beauties!
So glad I'm finally a Morgan!
CommentAuthorsuzky123
has he calmed down today?
cant wait to be Mrs Evans less than 3 weeks woooo
start weight 10st 1.5 lbs
weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorFuture Mrs Doublé
Hi Girls, sorry been busy going to mass and having the organist coming over for dinner to talk about hymns for the wedding. Gary calmed down, he was actually a little drunk last night and "misunderstood" me thought I meant he could not go out AT ALL, but I said again I don't mind him going later and come meet me first. He's not sure yet what he's gonna when that happens, but I think he does understand why I feel this way now. Thanks so much for all your comments. The alternative will be that I can either get a taxi from station to home, or go meet them in town for a few drinks and go home with last bus as I work every Saturday (getting up at 6 am)
Soon to be Mrs Gary Doublé
Everything is now booked
Getting really stressed and excited now
CommentAuthorUnknown
i can understand why you said about not friday and think he over reacted but my husband is always like that and drives me insane as he goes out far too much but just doesnt get it.
he may feel like you were in other words saying he cant go out, so i owuld leave it for a few hours and try to explain that you dont mind him going out but are worried about your saftey getting home and see what he says.
