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  1.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      edited
     
    Hi, I am probably going to sound like a prude here but anyway...

    My fiancé has decided to book a stripper for her friends hen. This is after a weekend in Magaluf. I am rather disgusted by this as her friend is unaware of this night out & it is entirely my fiancé decision to include this sleazy booking.

    My problem with this stems from this: I am below average in the penis dept, I am not a chiselled gym rat & my fiancé will only have sex once a month. I don't see how I can possibly compare to these guys. Plus, I am dreading my fiancé even looking at their penis never mind touching.

    Now, I don't get why she would add this in knowing how I feel about strippers. I went along on my friends stag last year & a visit to strip club was included. I decided not to purchase a dance & instead enjoyed a quite drink away from the girls up flaunting themselves to the rest of the group.

    Thanks for reading this as it has got me in a real worry.
  2.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Ok, so this is a tricky one.....

    I don't like the whole idea of a stripper but that's because I'm shy and would be so embarrassed.

    I didn't think physical contact was allowed (I could be wrong) in the nether region anyway.

    I know you have your insecurities as you have put them above however, just try to remember that these people (strippers) are doing a job... They don't want you fiance or the hen, they are literally just doing a job. Personally, watching a chiselled man strip off and shake his thing doesn't do anything whatsoever for me, but maybe talk to your fiancé and tell her how you feel again.....

    Her cousin may have mentioned she would like a stripper!!! I don't know.

    I'm sorry this may not have helped you, I just thought I'd reply rather than scroll past x

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  3.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Whether they have a larger one than you or not, she loves you for the person you are, not your genitalia.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  4.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
     
    Thanks for the reply Emmilou82. Its obviously a fantasy etc & she assures me girls see these events as a laugh & just embarrassing for the hen. I'm sure your right Glitterfairy but being a man I think those insecurities are something that I cant get over.

    As for the physical contact, when I was young & single I'd went to strip clubs, saw strip shows in pubs & was (at the time) lucky enough one night to be selected to lick cream from the strippers nipples. Back then I was 22, single & no one was being harmed by my actions. Now, I'm 32, two kids, fiancé & feel that if I were to act that way again it would not be acceptable. I can see licking cream from strippers as a sexual act, its cheating.

    I totally realise its my problem & wish I could get over it. Thanks for the replies folks, very much appreciated!
  5.  
    • sALLY
      CommentAuthorsALLY
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
     
    I think maybe she just needs to get it out her system, the stripper will be paying all the attention to the cousin anyway and you are not allowed to touch their penis. I am sorry you feel insecure I think deep down we all have insecurities :( and its brave of you to share them with us. I would definitely talk it through with your other half so she knows how you feel.
  6.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    First of all can i send you a virtual hug .

    she has booked this to entertain / embarrass her cousin NOT for her own sexual gratification , i do agree that you need to talk to your B2B and explain how this has made you feel ..

    remember these guys work out ALL the time and will ... take .... um .....supplements to enhance what god gave them and just because they are bigger certainly doesn't make them any better

  7.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Maybe encourage your B2B to have you as her own personal stripper and increase the "one a month " activity

  8.  
    • RachaelB76
      CommentAuthorRachaelB76
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
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    I think the girls above have said everything already. most people do get them for a laugh and to embarass the hen and the attention will be on her rather than your fiance. Also they are in a group and definately no touching of the penis. Best thing to do is speak to her. x




  9.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      edited
     
    Thanks for all the replies. I know its stupid to get worked up over it but discussing on here has defo helped, so thanks again.

    lala bunni, jeez I could just imagine my uncoordinated skinny legs tryin to take my trousers off to Hot Chocolate. That would be a stripper she would be in hysterics at!

    I've discussed it with her & she sees nothing wrong with it, I have to get over it. TBH I told her last August when I went to lap dance club that I wasn't happy with having to go. Explained I didn't like the idea of attending while in a relationship, she actually told me to grow a set & get a dance! So she definitely thinks its acceptable, both for me & her, which I suppose you have to respect. Despite her insistence that I get a dance, I didn't. I am now thinking that I should have as maybe it wouldn't bother me that she was going to see this.

    Any way, thanks a lot for reading & replying. All advice is appreciated!
  10.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
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    She could easily feel the same way if it was the other way round worrying that you'd see women differently to her. I'm sure you've got nothing to worry about. You're the one she wants to marry.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  11.  
    • michgib
      CommentAuthormichgib
      Getting married in 7 months
      Posted: Jun 16th 2015
      Is poweruserBadgeBadge
     
    Well said gf
  12.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 17th 2015
      edited
     
    Yeah Glitterfairy, I agree. She has confidence issues due to weight. I don't agree with strippers anyway, however with fiancé in mind I definitely wouldn't go to these places & pay for dances.

    The girls came in their droves to talk to us the night I went on pals stag. I must admit everyone of them were gorgeous & I was obviously thinking "wow she's stunning" & talking amongst ourselves about the girls outfits & assets, as you do. Id be gutted to think of fiancé saying "look at the body on him, how big was his penis" etc then coming home to me. Talk about anticlimactic!

    To her credit though she was rather excited about me going to the strip club in July & told me to generously tip the girls I got dances from. When I told her I didn't get any dances she said I "must have looked pathetic, being the only guy in a group of 20 that didn't get a lap dance".

    Thanks again folks, its been good to get some of that of my chest. I'll just need to remember what you've all said about her marrying me, just a job for the guy etc.

    Thamks
  13.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 18th 2015
      edited
     
    Lala Bunni Ive decided to give your DIY stripper idea a shot. My fiancé is in Magaluf right now on friends hen so I've got in a bit of practice, I'll surprise her when she comes home Saturday!
  14.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    good for you hun ........ personally id love it if my hubby made that effort for me

  15.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Good for you BarryA...... You show her how it's done


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    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  16.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    And at least with you doing it for her, she can touch and 'finish' off.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  17.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Lol.... Nice one GF X

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    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  18.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Goodness me! Ladies! And gent. This conversation is heading in an interesting direction! But seriously, think you've said it all. You're the one she wants to marry, she won't be interested in doing anything with a steroids pumped up unrealistic man who is just making a living by taking his clothes off.

    She loves you because you're more than that!

    I was really upset when I found out my hubby got a dance at a strip club on his stag which his mates had all clubbed together to buy him. I just had to remind myself that it's like a right of passage for many men and a traditional thing to do on stags.

    Hope the DIY stripping is fun!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  19.  
    • Louiseyweesey
      CommentAuthorLouiseyweesey
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I'd say talk to her and just explain how you are feeling :-) Honesty is the best policy as they say! Hope it sorts OK though xxxx
  20.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
      edited
     
    Hahaha yeah its getting interesting, the benefit of anonymity! She came home at 1.30 & went to bed at 3pm. Think Magaluf has taken a lot out of her. Couple more days practice it is I think!
  21.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    The more practice the better for you, and her.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  22.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Lol.
    Enjoy practising and performing.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  23.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
     
    Lol practicing is a rather weird process.


    You cannot actually start to understand the level of insecurity & jealousy I feel. To make matters worse, she has just told me while on a boat party there was a stag who was wearing a mankini. His friends thought it funny to then strip him. He was walking around the party starkers. Apparently, it was hilarious, this "big thing swinging about as he danced". I'm actually sickened by the behaviour people get up to in public just because their on a stag or hen.
  24.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    I can understand, think hubby would feel the same as you really, he wouldn't want to be paraded like that in public, he won't even take his top off in public

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  25.  
    • Emmilou82
      CommentAuthorEmmilou82
      Got married 5 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    In all honesty, I wouldn't like to see that in public...... People have the right to do whatever but I don't want to see it when I'm out.

    Members signature icon
    Marrying 'The One' on 30th July 2016
    I am now Mrs Emma Stokoe xx

  26.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    We saw someone in a mankini at the festival one year, it was not a pretty sight

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  27.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Gross! Not a fan of men in thongs or mankinis I have to say.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  28.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Barry just remember she loves you just as you are!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  29.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Honestly, hubby has put on weight since we met, so have I, but we still love each other as we did

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  30.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Ditto!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  31.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Even if he is a pain in the rear sometimes

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  32.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Lol. Love is a funny thing.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  33.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
     
    Its the "big thing". I can just imagine her there, staring at this guy dancing around naked, admiring his big penis. Shes barely spoke to me since she came back today. Everytime I try to hug or kiss her she pushes me away. Sorry for the drama folks, think I'm gonna need to take a sabbatical from here cause it started as a good we way to rant now I'm spilling way too much!
  34.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
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    Talk to her!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  35.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    It's not the size, it's what you do with it. Ok, my ex was bigger but hey hubby knows how to do things better. It's not all about the size

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  36.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 20th 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     


    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  37.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 21st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Barry i dont think for one minute she was "admiring his big penis" more likely laughing from a distance but praying to God he didn't come anywhere near her

  38.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 21st 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Lala!

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  39.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Got married 6 years ago
      Posted: Jun 22nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Firstly, believe it or not a lot of girls would rather be with a man with a small penis. Personally I'm very glad that my husband is not that well endowed, as sex can be really painful for the lady if the man has a large penis. Secondly, your fiancée knows the size of your penis and is still with you. As for only having sex once a month, some ladies aren't that fussed about doing it (unless they're trying to get pregnant). It can be painful, and it doesn't always give the satisfaction that men imagine it does. I personally am not that fussed about it, but because we're starting to try for a baby we're going to do it regularly. Maybe you could explore other ways to be intimate with your fiancée, like learning to massage her for example. Finally, as some others have said, not all girls like strippers. I saw one once at a friend's hen do and was traumatised for weeks. It was a ladies night that we had decided to use as the hen do but hadn't organised, and we wouldn't have chosen a stripper. I would have run out of the room once I realised that he was stripping completely, except that he was pulling women out of the audience to join him and I didn't dare draw attention to myself. Instead I ended up hiding under the table. There were definitely no rules about women not touching him, he was actively encouraging it. Plus he was not attractive, and a few ladies commented that what they had at home was better.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  40.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Got married 9 years ago
      Posted: Jun 22nd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    awwwwwww theres alot of love for you here Barry



  41.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 22nd 2015
     
    Elinor, it is the touching what worries me. I don't know why, at the end of the day we have discussed previous partners & I am well aware she has been with guys with large penis'. Yes, she said it was too painful, guy thought he didn't have to try because he was big, it didn't get properly hard cause it was big. After all, if she touches his penis, licks cream from it etc ill never know. If she fantasises about him whenever there's nothing I can do about it.

    Same for me, she is a size 16/18, 14 when we met. My previous 3 girlfriends were 8-10. They were very adventurous in bed, over the years fiancé sex drive & adventurous side has decreased. Does that mean I think about them? No. We finished for reason & I am marrying fiancé because I love her.

    I said to her last night "do you fancy an early night? I've got a wee surprise for you!". And, well, she demanded to know what it was. So I told her, id been practicing a wee 4min routine as a wee surprise for her returning from holiday. She said "Yuk, no thanks." So that's the end of that.

    I cannot thank everyone enough for all your help, I'll still be insanely jealous when she goes to this but I think I've worked through it a bit & understand its a done thing & no matter what (if anything) happens, our relationship will go on. My jealousy of the situation is the biggest threat to the relationship.
  42.  
    • Glitterfairy
      CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 23rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Are they actually allowed to touch though? I didn't think they were.

    Sounds to me like you are pretty safe anyway Barry, and keep the 'dance' for another time when it might be more 'fitting' for you both.

    Members signature icon
    Our wedding day - 6 October 2012


  43.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 23rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    I agree with GF.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  44.  
    • BarryA92
      CommentAuthorBarryA92
      Posted: Jun 23rd 2015
      edited
     
    Thanks again folks, think I've definitely worked through my issues! A bit. GF I know she loves me & I am sure she wont do anything she shouldn't but that's the way of it with insecurities, they should be insignificant to the bigger picture but manifest themselves so deeply that they take over.

    Rather amusingly fiancé just came home while I was in shower, burst in to use toilet (yes, we're obviously that close!) & noticed I'd, shall I say, tidied myself up a bit. She stayed in to talk to me (first time since she came home) & if she looked at the deforestation once she must have looked about 10 times! I felt rather embarrassed by my enthusiastic efforts but thankfully she never mentioned it.

    Well they say God loves a trier!

    Thanks again ladies, I owe you all so much gratitude!
  45.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Got married 8 years ago
      Posted: Jun 23rd 2015
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Awww hope the love and fun for you both continues.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

 
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