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Wedding Forum - I've done what i was determined not to do ...

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    • VikkiH53
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: Apr 30th 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    The sister in law has tried on three different sizes of the chosen bridesmaid dress. This latest one is too big and despite me saying we will pay for any alterations she's saying its a poor fit and won't make any difference. The Mother in law agrees but won't give us a solution. This equals High stress levels!!

    Then a colleague found out that her step soon, aged 34 had a week to live (following three failed operations to show down cancer). He died the next day.

    Therefore having spoken to another colleague about my issue she suggested telling her to get another dress but that would go with the other dresses. I umm'd and arrr'd but then decided that yes I would say that to her. After all she will look odd in the different dress to the other five bridesmaids and actually at the end of the day won't make any difference to the day and me and htb will still be married.

    What's annoying me now is that I texted her this after work yesterday and I haven't even had an acknowledgment that I'm willing to do this. It's making me wish I stuck to my grounds!!

    Just so fed up of it all and there is still two months to go and tones to plan
    • SusanM34
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 1st 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    I personally would tell her to get her head out of her a#se and decide on a dress. Give her a time limit, tell her it's your day not hers and if she's not happy then she can come as a guest! You've been pretty fair so far. You can always use the bridezilla excuse if you need to! Planning a wedding is hard enough without bm's (or families) adding to the stress levels. Might seem harsh, but it's not her day!

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    Became Mrs Maunders on 22nd October 2016!

    • KirstyR386
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 1st 2016
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
    If the dress has been fine for the 5 other bridesmaids why is it such an issue for her? I would probably have got to the point that if she's tried on 3 sizes and is still unhappy and hasn't offered any alternatives but all other bms are happy then to say she can like it or lump it because its hard enough finding a dress that works for that many people. Is she trying to get a different dress because she wants tk stand out? I assume she is not MOH. X
    • LauraH813
      Posted: May 1st 2016
    Have you considered she may have ulterior motives for the dress not fitting? One may be that she simply doesn't like your choice and by saying it doesn't fit is her way of expressing that. Second is she may not actually want to be your bridesmaid. Sure she's told her Mum so that would explain her backing her up. If it were me I would ask her outright if there is something else going on here. Ultimately there is no way I would have 1 of 6 bridesmaids in a different dress unless she was MOH. Stick to your guns. She hasn't acknowledged your offer of a different dress so retract it. Tell her it's the original dress or nothing. You'll pay for alterations and if she's not happy tough. Make sure you see her in it too. Bet it's not as bad as made out. Good luck x
    • MichelleC961
      Got married 33 months ago
      Posted: May 1st 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    Yeah I would agree with others- ask if she wants to be bm, say you will pay for alterations, but having thought about your offer to change, you think the photos will look odd with the different colour dress so you don't think that is the solution.

    Sounds to be a proper brat that actually you could do without being bm!

    Hope you sort it xx

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    • LeanneR0186
      Got married 4 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2016
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
    I personally wouldn't let her have another dress, it would imply to me she is MOH or some how special. I would say if she really isn't happy with the dress that unfortunately she might be better being a guest. I think it is ridiculous that MIL is allowing her to behave this way. xx

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    The Richardson's 31/12/16

    • NicoleW665
      Got married 3 years ago
      Posted: May 3rd 2016
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
    as much as i understand it can be horrible to wear something you feel uncomfortable in she needs to suck it up, you have offered more than you needed to, she should have been happy with your offer to pay for alterations and left it there. I wouldn't have liked to have one bridesmaid with an odd dress (would make it seem like she was MOH to anybody who didn't know and even my MOH is wearing the same as everyone else) so she wouldn't have even been given the option from me. You have been more than generous and I would be questioning her as a bridesmaid since she hasn't even bothered to get back to you.

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    When we met: August 2009
    When we announced engagement: December 2015
    When we will get married: September 2017
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