Me and my H2B have set the date chose the venue and sorted most things but now his mother has decided she must look round venue see my dress and bridesmaids dresses, doesnt agree with wat H2B and BM are wearing doesnt like my flowers or bascally anything and wants me to use all her stuff from her wedding (like 20 years ago :s) its all outdated and doesnt go with anything I chose or want. My H2B says I sound like a child demanding everything my way but tbh Im onlyplanning on doing this once and is it that wrong to want the day to be my way? MIL2B phones H2b upto 14 times a day and complains about thefact there are things I wont let her see (my outfit for example only my mother and MOH have seen it) and says Im pushing her to the side and not letting her be involved. I tried letting her help but all she says is dont buy that you an use mine from my wedding when tbh I want new since she had differnt flowers to what i want (her reply to that is just change my flowers)
CommentAuthorkaz44
aww bex i really feel for u, what an awkward situation to be in but it is YOUR day and u have every right to have it how u want it, maybe just have to sit her down and tell her calmly that u appreciate every bit of advice ad help she's giving u and u would like her to be involved but u want to have the the choice in the things u purchase and no disrespect but u would like to have new things and not handed down especially flowers etc. good luck x
CommentAuthorAnnette
Ah the joys of a controlling MIL2B -_- I'm sorry she's hassling you so much. If my OH said I was acting like I spoiled child I'd say "Well it's MY wedding, not hers. When she got married I'm sure she got the flowers, dress and venue she wanted" The only thing I can say is either stick your guns, and deal with the ensuing drama- or, try and find something to "give her" that you don't care overly much about. I wouldn't know what that would be though lol.
My MIL2b started moaning about our tableplacements going all "no, HE has to sit with me, oh and her to, and HER as well!" Which I replied "There is only so many seats by each table, you can't sit with everyone". Which seemed to shut her up lol. Otherwise she's alright though xx
Breathe in, breathe out...
CommentAuthorMel D
I don't mean to sound horrible to her, but she's the mother of the groom ... she shouldn't be this involved unless you want her to be! And why does she want to recreate her wedding through you?
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorkaz44
yeh suggest to her she may wish too keep her own stuff for if and when she renews her vows and u'd hate for her to regret giving them to u lol xx
Kaz is right, you and your H2B need to talk to MiL2B. Explain that her day was perfect for her and you want your wedding to be prefect for you. Could you get her to do some research for you? Maybe of cake bakers or prices of cars? That way you can give her a job and then make your own decision - worked a treat with my mother! Good luck! xx
CommentAuthorMorgsysGirl(kempy)
I know its not the same but my MIL2B said you have to have a wedding dress where your all covered up. My reply was its my wedding if I want my boobs on show I'll have them showing she soon shut up... but thats the first time in over 5 years ive stuck up for myself x
Married my soul mate 22-6-2012
Conceived baby 3 on our wedding day!
Due 15-3-2013 baby will join our two other beauties!
So glad I'm finally a Morgan!
CommentAuthorCowChop
Does she have any daughters, just a thought because she may just be excited and want to be involved as she wont get to be the MOB. She probably thinks she is being helpful and trying to save you money rather than trying to take over... maybe include her on a couple of things so she feels wanted. x
CommentAuthorA.Bird2b
Stick to your guns girl. This is your wedding and you should be making these decisions not her. If she keeps telling you that she wants things her way ask her the question "would you have let your mil2b make these decisions for your wedding?" if she says yes then thel her that you are not her and you want to do things your way. Stand your ground, but still try to be nice (I can be a little blunt to be fair)
CommentAuthorlinzi
i think you need to give your H2B a slap!! Of course you want everything your way and not his mothers way! i think he needs to tell her to back off, and stop answering the 14 calls a day.
if she is paying for the whole wedding, then yes she should have a say. But even then she shouldnt be forcing all her old stuff on you.
If it were me, should would be getting one cutting remark along the lines of "all your stuff looks old and out-dated, I want a younger fresher looking wedding" and that would hopefully give her the hint to f00k off!
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully!!
Started Slimming World - 23/03/2011 - 2 Stone to lose!
Total Loss = 1 stone 7 lbs.
As at 23/11 - 3 days before the wedding.
CommentAuthorbexiboo
her latest moan is the fact my mother is doing my cake for me (why pay if your mothers a professional and can do it free) and my mother has offered to hand stitch my table places, I told MIL2B if she can sew she can help but she pouted and said its something I should do with my mother since I only want to involve her :( my mother has heped me plana lot andId be lost withouther but shes my mother and its my wedding thought thats what usually hapened tha and the fact my mother lives 2 doors away so is always here for coffee and runs when she sees a parcel delivered lol. Im not purposely keepingMIL2B out but I only met her a few times before the engagement and now shes expecting us to be best friends. Im also getting fed up of the multiple phone calls to my other half we cant even eat a meal withou her phoning and he can not ignore mummy :( xx
CommentAuthorlinzi
go have a read of mrsBoyd2be's last thread. It will make you feel better, just!
I don’t repeat gossip so listen very carefully!!
Started Slimming World - 23/03/2011 - 2 Stone to lose!
Total Loss = 1 stone 7 lbs.
As at 23/11 - 3 days before the wedding.
CommentAuthorbexiboo
we are paying for the wedding ourselves except for a few bits my mothers paid for. MIL2B has a stepdaughter but stillfeels like H2B is her baby she is te overbearing MIL from hell methinks :( she even texts him good morning handsome and then again to say goodnight!!
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
How awful for you to have to deal with that. At the end of the day it is not her day. I hope you get it sorted out though the way you want it.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthor
My MIL2B is the same! she shouts jump n my h2b and his brother asks how high! He cant not answer the phone to her :-/ I hope i dont turn out like that with my sons lol! Maybe sit her down and say she is more than welcome to be involved with SOME of the planning providing she listens to what YOU want. (and possibly slip in that if she wants her baby boy to be happy she's going to have to sort her act out) :-) hope you manage to get sorted xx
met the man of my dreams 22/09/2006,
Had our amazing twin boys 16/05/2008
Finally becoming Mrs Davies on 31/08/2012 will make me the
happiest lady alive :-)
CommentAuthormaryannt
My h2b is a muumys boy aswell but luckliy I am extremely close to her but would be a nightmare if I wasn't you really do need to stand your gound it is your day and like you said she had hers why would she want to relive it through yours!! you are making the effort to try and invovled even tho you don't know the woman very well. sounds like she needs o grow up and realise of course your mother is going to be invovled more than her esp with nher living so close to you. don't let her get you down love xx
CommentAuthorXLittleMissMe!X
I think if you changed the my to our and consulted with your h2b about what he wants as well then it will make things easier for you and make you sound a little less one sided. You can never please everyone but if you show your h2b good willing and consult with him then you will find that in the end he will see who is the one being unreasonable and have good justification for supporting your choices knowing he has made them as well. I know you shouldn't have to justify your actions to his mum but get your h2b on board and all will end up a lot easier for you.
CommentAuthorlil miss sunshine
wise words Jo
and now the next chapter
CommentAuthorGembo
oh dear tricky situation... some good advice given tho all what i was gona say beens said lol hope u sort it out hun xx
xx Gembo xx
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
tbh i think you OH needs to grow a pair.....and tell his mother to butt out
