Well i started a discussion a little while a go as i wasnt sure what to do about getting married as my h2b didnt think he could do it and there were trust issues etc etc. well yday i finally made the decision to cancel it, a week b4 the big day! he was being shifty with me again and so i went on his emails to see if there was anything going on. i find an email off facebook asking him to confirm his relationship status with the girl who he cheated on me with and their anniversary as the 29 june.
i instantly phone him up to ask whats going on but he said her mate did it as a joke. hmmm, im not sure, i suppose there are people sick enough in the world but i dont know what to believe. he knew i wouldnt be able to see her relationship status as im not friends with her and he wasnt expecting me to go on his emails. i suppose i will never know. but then he flips out that i went on his emails and says how can we get married if theres no trust but still wont cancel it. he was so nasty in texts and wouldnt talk to me for a few days so i decide to pull the plug on everything.
i was so angry yday and the day b4 but ive calmed down now. part of me is feeling guilty for everything he had sorted for our house, insurance and other stuff but i feel like im going thru similar stages of emotion to when my gran died, like a grieving thing. well anyway, i have spoken to him a little bit since i have decided to cancel and even tho he didnt want to get married and had said this for weeks, when i asked him if he was happy about not doing it he said he doesnt know!! omg i cant win!! but i am happy with the decision, i cant keep thinking, what if he is cheating, what if this, what if that, going thru emotional rollercoasters and not eating for days making myself ill. we have all the time in the world to build up our trust now and work things out. we still love each other and we are having this baby together due in jan but even if we end it, i want a parental relationship with him that is an ok one and not hostile around the baby. i think its better this way as if things had carried on we prob would be divorced in a year and that would be even harder to deal with.
thank you all for your help and advice on everything but i dont think i will be coming on here again, ive got no wedding to plan now!! best of luck to everyone who is getting married. xxx
CommentAuthorsuzky123
i dont know what to say only im sorry that this has happened but I am glad you found out about this issue now because as you said, it would be harder to deal with after the marriage. The best of luck with whatever you decide x
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weight now 8st 4.5 lbs
total loss to date: 24.5 lbs now need to maintain!
CommentAuthorKylee27
Better that you don't go through with it and it ends up being a terrible mistake. In 4 months time you're going to have a beautiful baby to look after and if you're meant to be then he will win your trust back in time. If not, well then the man of your dreams is out there waiting! :0)
Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy.xx
Can't wait to be married!
CommentAuthorHappilymarried Mrs G
surely even if you couldnt see her relationship status you would have seen his if he had accepted it? and why wouldnt he be on there as engaged to you? Facebook is the source of so much evil at times i think, but i think you have totally done the right thing. You had doubts and rather than trying to ease those doubts and reassure you he got defensive and nasty... something else that would set alarm bells ringing to me. It would be wrong to go into a marriage with doubts like that, and honestly you wouldnt have gone through his emails had you not been given other reasons not to trust him anyway.
So many men seem to think that trust is a right of way.... do they not realise that you have to earn trust, and if it is broken by for example someone cheating, as he has done in the past, then it takes a long time and a lot of hard work to regain that trust again, and i think even then you will always have the memory and concerns.
I think it is true what they say, that trust is like a broken mirror, you can do your best to repair it but you will always see the cracks.
Best of wishes and big hugs to you hun x
CommentAuthorKaz
Best of luck to you hun, and congratulations on your bundle of joy! Hope everything works out for you and we see you back on here before long xx
sorry to hear this. you are very brave to call it off a week before! hope everything works out for you xx
CommentAuthorMilly87
thank you :) i know facebook has broken up so many relationships. the fact that he wouldnt delete her off his friends was weird in the first place, he knew how much of an effect it had on me knowing she was still able to contact him. he didnt want to delete even to make me happy as he thought it would seem weird to people and didnt want to cause friction as he will have to work with her one day most probably as they are in the same trade in the army. quite frankly if he knew it upset he should have deleted and blocked and done everything to make me happy. he did delete her eventually with me sitting over his shoulder but less than a week later he adds her again. i hate her so much!!
he hasnt really done anything to win back my trust, when i want to talk about things he puts a cushion over his head or goes in a mood. its impossible to get him to talk about his feelings and i think he needs time to grow up a bit. this next yr hes away a lot with the army so i wouldnt have seen him much anyway so the trust thing would have been constantly playing on my mind. im excited about my future now and will concentrate on the baby. im not getting rid of him completely, we have a lot to discuss but im also not gonna sit around moping about and feeling sad.
heres to a brighter future :) xx
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
Good for you babe. Sounds as though you've thought this through long and hard, and although it must have been a difficult decision to make (especially with your wedding just a week away AND with a little one on the way) I think you've handled it admirably. All the very best for your future and with the rest of your pregnancy and being a mummy Hx
Vegas baby!
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CommentAuthorsbride
Sorry to hear that you had to cancel hun, you done the right thing though. I hope you can be happy for the future, whether is be together or apart x
I am now Mrs Stacey Stiles and loving it!
CommentAuthorxxhan87xx
ahh wish i was as strong as you would save alot of heartache right now goodluck for the future x
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The Las Vegas sign
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CommentAuthorKATG
Good luck hun, sounds like you have thought things through and have made a decision you're happy with. All the best x
Mrs Wilson2B
Need to loose 5 stones and 2lbs
3 Stones 2 lbs lost so far!!!
Getting Married 3rd August 2013
CommentAuthorstressed to max b2b
i want to say congratulations to you for beens o strong and independant and having enough respect for your self to not let him treat and do this to you it takes alot of courage and determination so well done.
i also want to say sorry that with a week to go you have had to cancel all your hard work and emotions you have done over all the months.
as for him cheating on you i think you should kiss goodbye to his arse as for experience especially while pregnant you never get over it, it gets easier and u learn to control u feeling about it but it will forever be in your hea dnad your heart.
you are doin the right thing by your child to be and setting a fantastci exapmle of not been in a wrong realationships and been treated like that.
i truely take my hat of to you hun all the best what ever happens and big hugs keep your chin up xxx
met him 25/8/97
he proposed 4/3/98
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3 beautiful children together
CommentAuthorSimmo
Sounds like you've done the absolutely right thing! Like the above post says, a very brave thing to do, many would've just gone through with it at that stage.
Massive hugs to you and the very best of luck in the future.
Lou xx
CommentAuthorweemindyxx
Oh my god im so so sorry i hope you will be ok,
sending hugs onto you. :(
xxx
future Mrs Cole
Soulmates, 2 halves of the same soul
Joining together in lives journey.
CommentAuthorEmmaLouise
Good luck to you honey, whatever happens x
CommentAuthorkatie1991
edited
aww hun so so sorry to hear this i hope you and baby will be ok and it sounds like it was for the best xx
CommentAuthorAnnette
I'm sorry to hear this hon, but I think you've made the right decision for everyone involved, there is no stress on getting married. I hope you're coping alright, I'll be on here ready for a chat pretty much everyday ;) xx
Breathe in, breathe out...
CommentAuthorpennieb-MrsRiley
Echoing what has been said already, you're so brave to have cancelled it so close to the date but it really does sound as though you've thought this through properly. Good luck to you for the future x
Now, finally, Mrs Riley
I hope you don't mind that I put down in words
How wonderful life is while you're in the world
I have the greatest husband!
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
so sorry to hear this :(
but i also think you are so brave. i hope he realises what he's done. he's broken everything for a tart.
i wish you well and hope you have a great pregnancy and birth xxx
stay strong xxx
I'M MARRIED!!!
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CommentAuthorClareS
Well done you for being strong and thinking all this through very carefully. Good luck with your future plans especially your impending bundle of joy. Big hugs and lots of luck x
CommentAuthorWeeMintyMonkie
Sorry it didnt work out hunni but atleast you can be adult about it!
I know a lot of couples who cant work things out which is a shame!
xxx
CommentAuthorMrs*Maria*Louise
Aww hun your fab and wish i was as strong as you and handled things like you, you should be proud. Im glad your happy with the decsion an wish you and the baby all the best for the future!!! Xx
We Did It Finally
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CommentAuthorfutureburrough
wow your an amazing person sooo many people would have carried on then like you said yourself would have ended in divorce with baby in tow this way you can get through it and have a decent civil relationship for your childs sake! WELL DONE you are very brave and have a lot of respect for you! xxxx I wish you all the best for the future x
CommentAuthorMilly87
thanks for all your kind words. last thing for me to decide now is whether or not to go on my 'honeymoon' 2 weeks all inclusive at a 4* resort in antigua!!! i paid the lot so think i may go, will be a bit weird but i think i deserve a holiday, need a tan for a start!!
haha, think i should, the baby just kicked as i was writing so im sure thats a sign, he/she wants to go, lol!! xx
CommentAuthormaryannt
yes go!!!!! relx have some chill time all the best for the future xxxx
CommentAuthormadison_uk
sorry to hear about this but happy youve made the decision go on holiday and relax you could take a friend in his place
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
like jessie wallace said in the paper today hun MITE AS WELL BE HEARTBROKEN IN THE SUN!!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthorkatie1991
go on the honeymoon why not nice 2 weeks away xxx
CommentAuthorAurora
the holiday is def. well deserved!! go for it! especially if its before baby comes!
excited alternative bride trying to do things our way!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs Nicol
Good luck for the future and i hope you can work things out for the way that is best for you and your baby.. :)
CommentAuthorMrs Findlay 2 b
I hate men that cheat if I found out my other half I would go mental x x but congrats on your soon to be beautiful baby x x
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
I am so proud of you ........ get onto the travel agents ,find out how much it would be to change a name on the tickets and GO WITH A FRIEND. after all id you dont go you will have lost that money aswell ( not sure how insurance would cover it as they would say you were still able to go )
Well done you for being so brave, I would do exactly the same thing thing if i found out the things you did. How dare he re-add her so what if it caused friction if he "might" have to work with her.....no excuse. I hope he realises what he has lost. Defo go on holiday - you deserve it - will be a fab chance to soak up the sun before the exciting, busy times of motherhood. Take someone who makes you laugh. Good luck to you my dear xxxxx
CommentAuthorRachie :D
Well done you - I would hate to be in a relationship where I felt like I was constantly looking over my shoulder
Good Luck to you and bump xxxx
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
CommentAuthorMandy
Better to find out now and deal with it as divorce is mess y and very costly book some time away with your friends love hugs x
