Need ur help chicks on how to tell my Sister (politely, as she is not the sort to listen, doesn't let you get a word in edgeways and will just end up ranting till steam comes out of her ears) THAT IT IS MY WEDDING DAY! She has kicked off about how her children (who are also my god children) are not involved in my wedding and she is very hurt by this...I didn't choose any of my nieces or nephews and instead opted for my 2 best friends little girls as flowergirls, Lana (step-daughter) as bridesmaid and Owen (step-son) as Best Man ...however, if I involve her 2, then I have another 27 to consider, cos every1 else will be like "well, you have S and B, why dont you have so 'n so! She also said how I have my eldest Sister and her Husband as my witnesses, this was a joint idea between h2b and me, as they have been married for "donkeys" and it kinda makes a statement! She also went on about how I was her bridesmaid when she got married 2 her 1st husband, and how she "remembers" me saying she would be my MOH....hello...I was all of 18/19 and we are talking almost 20yrs later! This was the bit that got me most of all (bearing in mind, she knows that I cant have children of my own) WHY am I ONLY having Lana and Owen, WHY am I only having Roger's children and none of my own family???? I still have ages b4 I get wed...but need to tell her, its my wedding, my choices, my day....hellllllllllpppppppppp! :0(
CommentAuthorGoff
Ok try this:
You: I need to talk to you. Her: Blah blah blah You: STFU and listen - if you interrupt i shall tape your gob shut with duct tape Its like this..... its MY Wedding, i will have WHO I WANT, and it has NOTHING to do with you.... if you dont like it then lump it.... and if you continue to biatch about what i shold do according to your holy law then consider yourself univited sista!
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorHellsfire02
I would honestly tell her to get stuffed and if she doesn't like it don't come. But I can be very blunt like that x
CommentAuthorShell
Awww I know how you feel about sisters like that, mines exactly the same.... You can't tell her things like "yeah but its my wedding and I don't want/like that" coz she will just go in one of her moods and not speak to me!!!!!!
Hope you get things sorted hun xx
CommentAuthorHalloween_Bride
i'm agreeing with goff on this one, oorr you could duct tape her to a chair till she listens? xxx
Little Miss StressHead
I speak my mind if ya dont like it then tough
Men cant live with them, cant legally kill them
I'm like Marmite you either love me or hate me!!
If i was you id explain to her that your having your h2b's kids because you want them to feel involved by becoming a NEW family together. As for having your best friends kids instead of neices etc explain that due to costs youve done it this way because you would have to involve the other 27 if you considered her kids and you cant afford that. So to stop the arguments in the family of you had this neice and not that niece, you have gone with ppl outside the family instead. Try to find a job for your sister to do..........like maybe sort the hen night out???
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For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorKerrylou
I'd explain to her that you're not having family children involved because with so many of them you didn't want to single 3 or 4 out and make the rest of them feel left out. I can understand why she may feel a little hurt, it's your neices/nephews AND your God-children, to her I guess that counts for something, plus if you were her bridesmaid and you did say she'd be your MOH, then you've picked your eldest sister over her to be a witness (for a perfectly good reason).............well, I can see why she's upset. I think she's feeling like her and the kids have been a bit shunned by you and H2B. Then you add to the mix that H2Bs kids are involved but none of your 'own' family, maybe she thinks you've turned your back on them a bit.
Instead of going in guns blazing saying "Back off, this is MY wedding" I think you should write her a letter (if you can't get a word in edgeways) and explain your reasonings, reassure her that you're not snubbing her and her children and you're doing it this way because it makes things fair on your family. Then explain why you chose your eldest sister and her husband (without rubbing in the fact she's divorced/remarried obviously) You may find she understands after that, and if not then don't tell her anything else about your plans
xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorx~Hails~x
Failing that.................i like goff's option lol
UKBride moderator both on here and on facebook
For it was not into my ear you whispered, but into my heart
It was not my lips you kissed, but my soul.
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I think it is an unfortunate fact that you can't please everyone at a wedding, but the fact is, this is YOUR wedding and you might just have to give her the hard word that it is about what you and your h2b wants and not what she wants. Letter sounds good, especially if she won't shut up long enough for you to get a word in. It should all just be about celebrating you and your h2b on your special day, not a competition about who is the most involved in it. My wicked side likes the duct tape idea, you must want to that yourself anyway, just for fun, lol. x
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CommentAuthorVintageChic
Tell her her kids can be involved if she pays for their outfits plus the outfits of the 27 other kids you will have to invite lol
fair deal?
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CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
I like Geoffs option.
Its upto you who is involved. My dad's sister is VERY put out that my mum's sister is one of our witnesses and she didn't even get asked; simple reason, i don't actually like her much!
CommentAuthorGoff
WHO THE FUCK IS GEOFF??????
PMSL!!!
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorPinky1985
PMSL! Haha! Goff aka Geoff your hilarious! :) x
CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
Meh, i got no sleep then spend all morning getting myself wet while giving people showers. The way i'm feeling right now i could have trouble spelling my own name let alone someone elses :P
Sorry :( xx
CommentAuthorGoff
lol its ok sandy.... ive been called far worse!! lol!
UKB Mad Scientist
Ride it like ya stole it.....
I'm a flippin ORTHOTIST
CommentAuthorKesha
its annoying and frustrating when family members do this I dont think they realise that what they say can be offensive and hurtful. Even though you shouldnt have to explain to her your reasons behind anything, it may help if you do. Just explain that you have NO children from your family involved because you have lots of cousins etc who you would also need to consider and dont want to be in that situation. If shes still not happy, say youd be more then happy for them to be involved if she foots the cost of the dress/suits, shoes etc and see if shes so willing then. Advise its your day and you have made decisions with h2b so its not just you. Keep saying the same thing until she takes it in.
CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
Lol..... My brain is like mush right now, i just went upstairs to get my phone, forgot what i went up for came back down, went back up and did this 3 times before i actualy got my phone :P
CommentAuthorxx MrsM2b xx
I'm going wiv "Geoff's" idea....lol....It's the only way I will be able to get my point across! Kerry-Lou, she has known as long as I have that children 4 me are a no-no...she shud now c that h2b's children are the nearest I am guna get to my own! Hails, the hen night...fab idea, why didnt i think of using her b4?...she owns a pub for gods sakes....derrrrrr me! You girls have once again been brilliant - even sandi wiv the name change! :0)
