Wedding Forum - It's all about the Bride (smaid) - Page 1

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  1.  
    • FionaR82
      CommentAuthorFionaR82
     
    I asked my best friend to be MOH. There was never any question that it would be her I chose. I was not prepared for what was to come. She has been awkward as sin, wouldn't even try on anything I suggested, made a fuss over necks, sleeve lengths, fabrics, colours, everything. It was irritating but I felt that as my friend, I should want her to feel comfortable and let her have a say in what she could wear. I didn't want to be one of these brides who dictates so much about things that friendships end up suffering. As a result, she has ended up with something that doesn't fit with the colourscheme or the dresses I've chosen for the flower girls. As a compromise, we agreed that accessories would match the colourscheme. Within two days she decided that she wanted the accessories to match her outfit, not the colourscheme. In the midst of all this we had a very heated discussion where I did make it clear to her that I was beginning to get frustrated that she had gone completely vetoed what I'd had in mind for MY wedding and at that point asked her if she'd maybe prefer not to be involved and was this her way of telling me. She got quite upset that I would think that. Though I was annoyed that she had gone against what we'd agreed on, I considered that wasn't that big of a deal because at least it matched something, so I let her have the accessories she wanted.

    Now, everything is bought and paid for (by me) and delivered to her, she tells me that she has bought accessories that she likes better. I can't believe that she would think it acceptable to go and buy different accessories without even discussing it with me. I have already bent over backwards to try and accommodate what she wanted because she is my friend and I want her to feel comfortable but now, I am just fuming. It's so rude and a smack in the face after the absolute fortune I spent on trying to accommodate her demands but she doesn't seem to see anything wrong in what she's done. She's already got her way by disagreeing on the chosen colours for outfits, then the colour of the accessories and now she'd decided on a completely different colour again, without even consulting me. I have visions of her turning up on the day wearing something completely different altogether. She needs to realise that this wedding does not revolve around her and what she wants.
  2.  
    • clairenina
      CommentAuthorclairenina
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I really feel for you. I have seen so many posts like this. I just wish bridesmaids would just be honoured at being asked, and just to respect the brides wishes. it's only 1 day, it won't kill them lol
  3.  
    • LauraY27
      CommentAuthorLauraY27
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    God, I'd ditch her seriously. My bridesmaids have been easy as pie. I am a bridesmaid for a friend in 2016 and she wants us in knee length teal dresses. Teal doesn't suit me and I'm short so neither does a knee length dress, however, I will wear what she chooses because it's her wedding day, not mine. She should put up and shut up in my opinion xx
  4.  
    • Whovianbride
      CommentAuthorWhovianbride
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    you have been way more lenient and accommodating than you need to and maybe thats why she feels she can walk all over you, sounds a bit of a B to me.

    Members signature icon
    Met June 2009 on my Birthday,Met again July 2009 and got
    together, May 2010 Moved in,Jan 2011 got pregnant,
    August 2011 Got our own place, 2011 Had our Baby Girl,
    Dec 2011 Got engaged, July 2015 Getting married! Yay!
  5.  
    • StephanieK77
      CommentAuthorStephanieK77
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Yeah i agree that you should have put your foot down. I have been prepared to compromise with my bridesmaids as the colour scheme is orange which i knew they wernt thrilled about. I was even going to put them in short white dresses and orange accessories until they themselves found an orange dress they liked every other dress they suggested that i didnt like they accepted as a no and kept looking. They even went dress shopping without me and are almost as excited about my wedding as me. They are my sisters so maybe its a bit different but to me this is how bm should behave.
  6.  
    • FionaR82
      CommentAuthorFionaR82
     
    Yes I'm inclined to agree. I was so cautious about not being a bridezilla that I was too laid back with letting her show her own individuality and have kinda backed myself into my own corner here. I've had enough now though, she will be wearing what we agreed upon or she won't be taking part, foot is going down and staying there.
  7.  
    • almost a year wife!!
      CommentAuthoralmost a year wife!!
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Slap her

    Members signature icon
    Ill marry my hero


  8.  
    • InDreamland
      CommentAuthorInDreamland
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Then sack her! She's not worth the stress.

    Members signature icon
    Married the love of my life on Saturday 11th May 2013 xxx
    Had our dream perfect honeymoon in Hawaii!

  9.  
    • lala "mod" bunni
      CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    You need to tell her that enough is enough , that she has to make a choice wear what YOU agreed or don't be a bm ......I worry that as everything is now with here she will arrive to where you are getting ready with the stuff that she wants.

    If she won't take that let me know as I'm just in the mood to take her on and put her in the place she needs to be .



  10.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    Yes I think there needs to be an ultimatum. Maybe ask her to think about what she would want of her bridesmaids at her wedding. She needs to see the big picture.

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  11.  
    • Velcro
      CommentAuthorVelcro
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    tell her (and I find myself saying this quite a lot!!!) that she can HAPPILY wear her own accessories outfit, if she likes. AS A REGULAR DAMN GUEST.

    Members signature icon

    Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
    *Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
  12.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    She definitely needs pulling down a peg or two x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  13.  
    • *KelBel*
      CommentAuthor*KelBel*
      Is poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Be aggressive x

    Members signature icon
    Velcro...my wedding day twinny! The Two Kel's!
    Got engaged 14/10/12 in Central Park NYC!
    Became Mrs Macdonald 13th September 2014
    Mummy to 4 girlies and baby blue boy Due 10/05/2016
  14.  
    • MrsR-C2b
      CommentAuthorMrsR-C2b
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Haha! I agree. Someone above said they were being a bridesmaid and wearing a colour that doesn't suit them. I have exactly the same with my friend, I'm her MOH and she's chosen purple that doesn't look great on me. But when she said, I said, oh I have a nail varnish that matches exactly that colour! The job of a bridesmaid is to help the bride not piss her off!! Be honest with her and explain how she's making you feel.

    xxx
  15.  
    • AlexN29
      CommentAuthorAlexN29
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    I had a bridesmaid that said no to EVERYTHING. I took her to the side and said look when you get married I will wear whatever you want, for now you should give me the same respect. She started to get it and is now going along with what I want. If you just talk to her calmly and get your point across in a mature way and she doesn't get the idea then ask her politely to come as a guest. Sometimes weddings bring out the worst in people and you get to see their true colours and sometimes they just aren't worth your time :/
  16.  
    • Elinor Claire
      CommentAuthorElinor Claire
      Ticker backgroundIs poweruserJust marriedBadgeBadgeTicker foreground
     
    LaLa if ever I have trouble with anyone I'm coming to you!

    Members signature icon
    30th August 2014 was the best birthday ever.
    It was the day that I became Mrs. Dixon.

  17.  
    • katielea100
      CommentAuthorkatielea100
      Just marriedBadgeBadge
     
    Sack her! Silly maid who does she think she is! The hints In the title bridesMAID! A maid is basically a servant she's your servant for the day, did servants get to choose what they wore? Nope! X
  18.  
    • AH86
      CommentAuthorAH86
      Ticker backgroundTicker foreground
     
    You have far more right to get upset with her than she has with you for thinking what you do and bringing it up with her. I think she was trying to guilt trip you

    I would definitely have to agree with the ladies above. Enough is enoug. One day she will understand (although she sounds rather rude and obnoxious and clearly high maintenance so good luck to them) but clearly if she cannot understand in the slightest now, she can't handle such a role. You have to imagine how hard work she will probably be on the day too.

    No friend in my eyes

    Members signature icon
    Friday 10th April 2015
    Marrying my best friend
    Not long now :D
 

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