well this fri is my second scan and i have been buzzing about it for last month, NOW I DONT WANT TO BOTHER GOING,

i feel like a surrogate mother for my mother and her boyfriend! this baby doesnt feel like its mine. ive had my sister trying to talk me into finding out s3x even though i dont want to, ive had everyone making comments on babies names cos its not "their taste", my mums bf who ive only met twice said before i even ever met him that he wants to be in my babies life, he then says hes more than willing to babysit if i ever wanna go out (i hardly know him) and now hes coming down tomorrow til friday and i said to mum when is he going home cos me, h2b, sister and mum were going to scan, she said i dont know but he can come to hospital but wont come in for scan,

i wasnt asked nothing, feel like every choice is taken out my hands, my sister has been all along i dont want to meet him and i thought it was gunna kick off if he went on friday, now shes saying she cant wait to meet him and cos hes portugese thats why he wants to be involved with baby! im sorry but i hardly know him and after so much bad stuff has happened to me and mum over the years i am not going to jump into trusting him, this is mine and hubbys baby, hubby isnt at all happy that we werent even asked about who can come to scan, he now wants to tell everyone to fu** off so just me and him can go, what should i do?

p.s im not hormonal being pregnant cos id feel same if i wasnt pregnant but id rather they showed the respect to ask before inviting every tom and harry to our special day :'(

I totally understand hun I'm 26wks pregnant..

Its you and your h2b's baby so I'd tell them as much as you appreciated them wanting to be involved as much as they want it is your baby and would like to make desicions youself.. Tell your mum as they haven't been together long and you don't know him you don't want him to have a huge part in the babys life incase it don't work out.. Also stand your ground about the scan after all your carrying the baby hun not them.. Hugs... xx

P.S. Good luck xx

its ur baby you make all the decisions xx best of luck xx

Tell them all the time has changed til later and go on your own, I only ever wanted me and ex to go to our scans, my mum went to one of them and wouldn't stop bleating on about how "she" was beautiful and she was actually a he! Did my blinking head in! Then she had the cheek to get funny when I said no to her being in the delivery room when I had him!!! She kind of learnt her lesson by the time the second one came along and I had him at home anyway and told her after he was born!
Your baby your body YOUR RULES!!!!! end of!!

I would tell them that youve spoken to the hospital and the room is too small so cant fit all 4 in, and you dont want to have 2 choose who gets to go so no one can. a little lie doesnt do no harm and it spares peoples feelings. thats unless you dont mind being the 1 people resent for opening your mouth and sticking up for yourself. i personally cant do that. as for the s3x, everyone will find out on the day the baby arrives and who cares if its a boy or a girl as long as they are safe and healthy. go with what you want or for the next 4-5 months your going to have to put up with everyone elses input. good luck and most of all- enjoy, this is probably going to be the last time you see and hear your little bundle for a while :) xx

and after the scan if they ask you what it is say ........." a puppy" that will shut them up

i think just u and h2b should go on your own to make it more special for you. that way none of them can feel left out if only one of them can go in as when i had my scans only 2 people were alowed into the room. as for the sex of the baby, the decision should 100% be yours and h2bs. its not your families decision. i dont blame you for not trusting your mums new partner quickly. and they should respect that you are not.

his brother sounds like an ar5e. why would you write something like that?? your mum is going to be excited, this is her grandchild, but that gives her no excuse to put you under stress or ask you for something your not comfortable with. Either explain to her why you dont want her new boyfriend there or make up a huge excuse as to why they cant come lol. its easier said than done but you cant please everyone and yourself at the same time, and atm you, h2b and baba are number 1 priority. your getting married in 4 weeks and dont need this added stress too. go to the scan alone, then when youve finished go for a coffee or some dinner and be together for 1/2 hour then ring up your mum and tell her how it went as im sure she will be eager to know. i cant wait til my sis finds out what shes having, shes 11 weeks today, but there is no way i would convince her to find out s3x if thats not what she wanted. when i was preg my sis kept badgering on at me to find out bout u no what, i didnt, cos i wanted the surprise. you might feel a bit guilty saying no at first but in a few weeks when people realise no means no they will stop all together :) xx

thanks hun, mum doesnt understand why i find it hard to trust people, and with what has happened with her, i cant see how shes so trusting so quickly, i feel pushed out of the home when hes there cos both times hes come down he came down for 2 days, and both times theyd come downstairs with hickies all over them or start undressing eachother in kitchen when me n h2b walks in, she doesnt understand i dont know him at all, she met him on dating site and being pregnant now i have to protect my baby, i honestly feel like im gunna lose my h2b cos hes on the brink of kickin off, hes not angry at me tho, hes angry all choices are taken out our hands. i dont know, just feel really tense and think baby can feel it too cos my bellys felt tense n sore since this kicked off.

he sounds like a right wierdo you need to calm down hun the baby will feel you being stressed out you need to tell ur mum you dont want her bf there as your not comfortable with it or sounds like your h2b will tell them,she should understand its aprecious time and exciting and you dont want it ruind by someone you hardly know xx

sounds like she is hard to talk to just tell yes you want her to be happy but and you are happy she is happy with him but you want this to be a family occasion and you and h2b just feel you only want her n sister there surely she can appreciate this is UR baby and its what you both want xx

sounds like she is head over heels in love with him!!hope it goes ok chick let us know whta happens big hugs xx

she needs to take it easy but sometimes people dont do they she head over heals xx

Get tough and say sorry no. The hospital have said its just you 2 and that you dont want the stress of other people coming because you might be tired/emotional after so please respect your wishes and stay away. Tell them you will take the photos over later or something. Really hope it works out for you hun xx

no i couldnt talk to her last night, she didnt give me much time to talk, told me shes taking her bf back to station at 4am fri morning, but didnt know what to say so talked to h2b after and he said he still wants it to be just us 2 and i agree, but scared of the backlash im going to get, off her and her bf, and ray told me if anything is said then hes moving out :S :(

i would have just said that i had got a call and was asked if they could re arrange the scan as the person was off - and went myself. I know you are in a hard place right now - but try and do what is bast for you and oh, my mum is causing problems, as she wants her ex bf to come to my wedding.

you should get to choose - the trouble is if you stay with your mum it makes things 3 times harder.I dont stay near mine (an hours drive) and my life still gets ruled by them if i let them

i am so angry! mums home now with miguel and all theyr doing is snogging, nibbling eachother in front of me and saying how they want to go upstairs to have an orgasm!!!!!!!!!! i said for f*** sake stop im in the room, and mum bullsh1tted and said she puts up with worse with me and ray, ME AND RAY SEE EACHOTHER MAYBE 30 MINS TO AN HR EVERY DAY!!!! WE DONT HAVE TIME TO DO ANYTHING AND BY BED TIME WE ARE BOTH TOO TIRED TO DO ANYTHING!!! I AM SICK OF HER LYING AND SAYING ME AND RAY ARE JUST AS BAD AND WORSE, i will sit on sofa next to ray and put my feet on his knees and just give eachother a little peck maybe every half hr, thats it, SHE AND MIGUEL ARE PROPER SNOGGING AND MAKING DODGY NOISES WHILE ME AND H2B IN ROOM!!! argh im so sick of the f**king 2 of them, argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

calm hun calm you need your own space asap,just try ignore her xxx

tell him to back off!!!cheeky s@d,you and h2b got to scan alone let them come to next one xx

i really try not to stress but its so hard, i felt so intruded on yesterday with him kissing me and mum knows that, i told her after he came down first time when he grabbed my hand n kissed up my hand n arm, i do not feel comfortable with people touching me anymore other than ray, he is the only person i trust to not take over with baby and to not hurt me and baby, and mum was like thats just the way portugese men are, they are very family orientated, im not his family,

mum just wont listen, shes says im being a brat and im hormonal and being nasty to her and miguel, if thats the case ray has said himself he must be a brat and pregnant then cos he feels exactly the same way!

i got so upset and angry and stressed and ready to smack someone last night that my whole body tensed up, my back started to throb and my stomach was in agony, mums like if any of rays family upsets me then i shouldnt get stressed and hurt baby, but when i try to explain its her and miguel who are getting me stressed cos they dont talk to me while hes down, shes like your just being a brat! ray nearly punched miguel again last night cos of how upset i got that he kissed me (also explained to miguel 1st time met him, while im pregnant i dont want to be touched by anyone OTHER than ray, not even me and my mum hug anymore cos shes changed towards me and ray) ive never seen ray shake so much or get so red in the face, like a kettle about to boil

only good thing about last night was as i laid down and me and ray where talking, ray put his hand on bump and tapped bump and stumper (baby) started pushing back onto rays hand and kicking rays hand, ray did this for a good 10-20 mins lol, and everywhere he put his hand and tapped, baby was pushing and kicking his hand, i tried it after and little blighter didnt give me a second glance lol, as soon as i moved hand, baby would start kicking again! DADDYS LITTLE BUNDLE OF JOY I THINKS, JUST A BIT OF FAVOURTISM!!!!!!!!!!!!

theres no where else we can go for long term, we could go to rays nanas but we couldnt take our dog or lizards and mum would probably sell them,

im 19 weeks pregnant, 20 weeks on monday. been told by nurse i need to live somewhere else cos the baby is most likely in state of distress :'(