Arrgghhh!! Well as some of you know me and my mum are making the bridesmaid dresses. Well the great news is that one is finished and done! The not great news is that my other bridesmaid who was supposed to be my best friend has gone off with her boyfriend when she said she would be back for the fitting. She went away for easter, no problem with that, but said she would be coming back yesterday and would get in touch with my mum when she got back yesterday to arrange the fitting. However she has not come home. She has come back form holiday but instead gone straight to the caravan she shares with her boyfriend. When my mum text her to ask what time she wanted to come over yesterday, she got a reply saying that they were at the carvan and wouldn't be back until Monday ready for work on Tuesday. Well my mum is a school teacher and also goes back to work on Monday. Its a difficult school and they are expecting ofsted at any time so once she goes back she really will not have the time to be working on the dresses.
So I text my friend telling her as much and she said she could come Monday but my had already told her that she was out on monday evening.
So I text her and asked if there was no way she could pop home for a couple of hours and then go back to the caravan. As my bridesmaid I could really do with her support on this but if she wont come home then we will just sew it up and if it doesn't fit or it looks daft then so be it.
This morning she has replied that there was always a chance they wouldn't even be back from their holiday this weekend (which is different story to what she told us) and that she would see about maybe coming back on sunday but would let us know when her boyfriend wakes up.
I know it seems harsh but I haven't asked for anything else the whole time I have been planning the wedding. Its my hen do next weekend and we are going to the theatre saturday night then to spa on sunday and she isn't even stopping for the spa. If I was her bridesmaid I would do whatever she wanted without moaning.
She met this boyfriend last summer and since then she seems to have disappeared off the radar and gone off into her own little world with him. I am so mad at her as she seems to have forgotten about all of her friends and this is the time I really need her. Instead she just seems to think everything revolves around her and that my mum will drop everything for her to fit her dress whenever.
Am I being unreasonable to expect her to help out with only 5 weeks to go and get her dress fitted? Should I just let it go and try fit round her? Or am I ok to feel so mad at her. I also feel really sad because I feel like I have lost a friend in all this and if we hadn't already put so much time and effort into her dress I would be asking her not to be a bridesmaid.
Wow it feels good to share this.
CommentAuthorJosoap
Tell her if she wants to be a bridesmaid then she need to be reasnable and help you. Bridesmaids are just that maids for the bride and they are ment to help the bride. ANd no your not being unreasnable she is!
Been with Neil 5 and half years...
Been Engaged 12 Month
Hope to be Married soon.
Life is full of surprises
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
i would tell her the choice is hers she comes back for a fitting or she is no longer a bm .....as he new bf seems to be more important that your wedding
she's definitely being unreasonable ... tell her to get her s55 over to get fitted for the dress before the end of sunday or she won't be needing to be fitted at all as she won't be a bm. xx
Got married Sat 28/05/2011
Renewing vows Sat 29/05/2021
We're planning WELL in advance!!
CommentAuthorRachie :D
I agree with Mel I don't understand why these girls see being a bm as a chore when its an honour
9th June 2012 when two worlds collide
The Crazy Cat Lady and the Transformer Man!
i agree as well. it clear that she isnt that interested. so she either comes and does the fitting or isnt ur bm hun. it not unreasonable xx
CommentAuthorNHR115
I agree with the others hun, you're certainly not being unreasonable. xxx
CommentAuthorkimmy
If she is not interested,Dump her and save yourselves time and effort!!
CommentAuthorjessrabbit
completly unreasonable! I'm new to this site and the whole wedding 'fun' that comes with the sparkley and I have been doing my nut over bridesmaids and fmaily commitments, but I really feel that a bridesmaid should be someone you can trust to support you for your big day... this friend of your isn't doing that at all! I feel awful for you, this cant be an easy situation. In your shoes I would be asking myself if I still want her as a bridesmaid - you have so many things to be worrying about on your day and shouldnt have to worry about a dress fitting her well or not, you should really tell her how you are feeling and how hurt you are by the whole situation. Good luck with everything. Jess xx
CommentAuthorYourFirstDanceBride
Well she pulled it out the bag yesterday and showed up for her fitting and her dress is now finished! Yey! However she did send me a message with some snotty comment about a whole saturday being wasted with travelling and waiting around. But I have decided to rise above it and ignore it. I did message her to say thank you and that I really appreciated it. I could have said 'and my mum has spent her entire easter holidays doing the dresses and between us we have literally spent hours and hours making each one' but I decided not to bother causing more strain.
I am meant to be meeting her on Thursday night so we will see how that goes and hopefully our friendship can be saved.
