Looking at ways to save money and from reading some post on other forums it sounds like its the bride and groom paying for bridesmaids dresses...so i ask is it wrong for us to want them to fit the bill? Forum Poll
To pay or not to pay
Who should pay for the bridesmaid dresses
Poll Results
Total Votes:
32
bride and groom fit the bill
47%
bridesmaids pay for dress bride and groom provide accessories
9%
bridesmaids pay for accessories we provide the dress
28%
bridesmaid pay for everything as gift to bride and groom
3%
all contribute
13%
I never thought that I would see the day that God
would give to me An awesome gift of love thats true
My Friend, My Sid, my booboo
Glad to be the future Mrs Bloodsaw :)
CommentAuthorKarenB9
We are paying for everything for our bridesmaids / flowergirls but thats because I want to have full say in what they were and how they look.
CommentAuthorVelcro
Ive no idea how Im going to work this one out myself either, ive got like 5 bm's and I really should have thought about it before diving into it head first, etiquette is telling me I should be paying for at least the dresses myself... and maybe asking them to get their own shoes, they are justifiable because they could wear them again... the dresses though... I dont think I could bring myself to ask them to buy their own lol
Wibbly wobbly, timey wimey
*Kelbel* is my wedding twinny!
CommentAuthormrsV2013
i think each case is different. i'm paying for mine as moh and her daughter paid for mine at hers (only fair and she did offer to pay for hers) and my 2 other bm are 17 and living in care so don't get much money. and then i have my daughter, if i don't pay for that who will?
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorSteffie
I'm (or rather mum and dad) are paying for everything for our wedding with a contribution from us!
But I agree with mrsV2013 every body is different!
i voted bridesmaids pay for the accessories and we pay for the dress i couldn't justify letting my bridesmaids pay £180 quid for a dress they only gona wear the once i personally wouldn't do it also if your asking them to pay for the dress then surely they will want something that they gona be able to wear again which you may not want as part of your wedding, wen i was bridesmaid for a friend she bought our dresses and we bought our shoes she also bought our jewellery as a thank you for being a bridesmaid. xx
CommentAuthorShelleyM46
i hav my cbm n 2 big bm but it wasnt me that asked em 2 pay for anything they offered well no they told me lol.they know im on a tight budget n 2 b honest id do the same 4 them iv told em as long as u stick 2 the colours they can get wat eva they want as long as the cbm is different.n id prefer it if they cud get sumthing they cud wear again.but im payin 4 the 3 little bms x
cant wait to marry the love of my life
my soul mate and my best friend
CommentAuthorNaomiD64
yeh thereare somethings you guys mentioned I didnt consider. the dresses i've been looking at are in my case dresses you could where again and if not sell on ebay. we have yearly banquets so my previous bridesmaid dress has come in handy lol the bridesmaids at the moment do no know who they are so i could problem thin it out depending on the budget but i guess getting the dresses and having them pay for their shoes is fair. thanks for the input :)
I never thought that I would see the day that God
would give to me An awesome gift of love thats true
My Friend, My Sid, my booboo
Glad to be the future Mrs Bloodsaw :)
CommentAuthorLinzi-jo
We will be paying for it all, but only because we want them all to match. If you ask them to pay, in my opinion, you should have no input over what they pick other than the colour. So if you dont mind them all being different I see no problem in it, but if you want them to all to match, I think it is unfair to ask them to pay out there own money for something that you want xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorKirsty
I have given my bridesmaids a budget, which should cover dress, shoes and accesories. If they want to go over, they add the extra. I have 2 sisters and its been the same for all three weddings!
CommentAuthormrsV2013
i've done the same kirsty. my bm's have got a budget too. my moh will keep to it or put to but my other two adult bm's will be a nightmare. i'm not letting them choose anything or they'll have massive heels and tacky stuff :/ and they've been told their not even doing their own make up or else i'll have two orange bm's :/ i've told them no fake tan as they go for horrid colours. everything has to go through me with them even the colour of the hair as they're always dying it :/
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorKirsty
lol my BM's aren't quite that bad! lthough one is getting marriesd a few months before me and is a bit of a bridezilla! I have said as long as they are the same fabric and colour i dont mind about the cut, and the rest i am fine with, but we have similar(ish) tastes, i.e. no umpalumpas!
CommentAuthorOfficially Mrs M
we originally were going to get them to pay for everything or at least half but i got the dress for £80 for both and i offered to pay £90 for one dress for them each as they found one for £180 they loved!!
so because the dress were only £40 each i paid for there shoes £5 each in the sale and i got there necklaces £12 and then my mum paid for there hair accessories.
my hair and make up budget was £150 its only £50 so within my budget i've paid for theirs as well but they pay for trials and nails etc
so set a budget and get what you can within that and then everything over they pay for, or get there dresses and get them to get accessories
8th September 2012 I married my best friend
1st September 2014 our little family grew by one
Women are made to be loved, not understood. - Oscar Wilde
CommentAuthormrs clarke to be
were lucky that the bridesmaids are buying there own dresses will there all family member so we have been lucky but were buying everything else ie shoes hair pieces etc xx
CommentAuthormrsV2013
well the two i'm being bridezilla with are my twin 17 year old nieces and they are just nightmarish :/ but i want them there even if they don't deserve it lol
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorJoanneS30
We will be paying for bridesmaids dresses, but my MOH is buying hers as she said she would like to. Which is lovely :-), My bridesmaids are only young any way so I don't mind forking out the cash. We will be buying things soon so we are fully organised. xx
CommentAuthormrsV2013
soon to be mrs mann your getting married where my moh got married. i recognized the pics as soon as i saw them lol
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorKellyN29
everyone is different, my MIL2B is going mad because she thinks the bridesmaids should pay, I chose the dresses so I bought them but shoes i'm leaving to them and we have to see about accessories nearer the time but I think I'll buy and let them keep as their gift.
CommentAuthorOWB
I've set an upper limit that I'm prepared to pay, and told my girls that they're fine to go over that limit but they have to pay the rest themselves. If they're paying then it's important to give them a choice. Again, my two have got a framework to work towards, but I want them to be comfortable too.
If only life could be one long tea break
CommentAuthorfiona
We are paying for the dresses and they are oaying for everything else. I can't see why you can't ask your bridesmaids to pay as long as you are upfront when you ask the to be bridesmaids so that there is no bad feeling.
CommentAuthormillz090
Ooo its a tough one.... i am paying for my bridesmaid and groomsmen as i feel its unfair to ask them to fork out for a dress, shoes, accesorries when they may not be able to afford it or wear it again. I think if you are upfront from the begining then it is fine but asking them to pay out for dresses, shoes, hotel, present, etc is alot and they are not choosing to get married?! xx
Finally marrying the love of my life !!
10th August 2013 - 9 years to the day we met !
CommentAuthorStaceyP91
Were buying the dress & the bridesmaids are paying for their own accesories.
30-11-13 my life becomes complete
Mrs Solomon to be
CommentAuthorMrsKisywisy
edited
i've paid for everything.
but i think my moh would've paid if i had asked her to
I'M MARRIED!!!
I am now Mrs Bananaman!!!!
13/09/2012 in Peyia Town Hall, Cyprus
CommentAuthorKayleighW36
If you've asked them to be bridesmaids then I think you should pay for them but if like me, you have had 4 people saying that they want to be bridemaids then they should pay for them (I only budgeted for 2 bridesmaids not 6).
CommentAuthormrsV2013
ouch 6 would be a lot but i can't say much i have 3 adults, 1 teenager and 1 little one but i think my mum is trying to sneak one more in. she says she's going to buy her a bm dress so she feels included :/
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorNaomiD64
hmm defo something I'm going to have to talk over with the boo. but if we're smart with cutting costs elsewhere maybe including it in the budget would make sense. we havent actually got a budget yet cos need to go to bank of dad and find out how much he's putting towards but so far for everything we've looked at it shouldnt be too hard to included the bridesmaids dresses.
I never thought that I would see the day that God
would give to me An awesome gift of love thats true
My Friend, My Sid, my booboo
Glad to be the future Mrs Bloodsaw :)
CommentAuthorNaomiD64
hmm defo something I'm going to have to talk over with the boo. but if we're smart with cutting costs elsewhere maybe including it in the budget would make sense. we havent actually got a budget yet cos need to go to bank of dad and find out how much he's putting towards but so far for everything we've looked at it shouldnt be too hard to included the bridesmaids dresses.
I never thought that I would see the day that God
would give to me An awesome gift of love thats true
My Friend, My Sid, my booboo
Glad to be the future Mrs Bloodsaw :)
CommentAuthormrsV2013
my bm dress are only going to cost £40 i hope
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorOmi
We paid/are paying for their dresses, shrug/cardi, hair accessories & hair and make up on wedding morning.. Thea have all bought their own shoes. I agree with some of the others when the say its really about what you can afford. I'm sure they would all be willing to pay for their dresses or at least contribute. x
CommentAuthorPrincess2be
We are paying for everything apart from jewllery i think.
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
my girls paid for their dresses (£165) i have bought shoes n accessories for all 5 at £60 each plus £20 for hair on day and spent load son pressies x
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthormrsV2013
only £20 for hair that sounds good becky
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorSaraC1
my 1st wedding my parents paid for everything but this time around ive asked my bridesmaids if they woudl pay but then they have a choice in what the dresses are like and im gonna get their accesories :)
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
yes rach its my usual hair dressers escala at six lane ends! they r all lovely girlies x
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthormrsV2013
you know someone else has recommended them to me :) willlook into them :) ta
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorbecky -mrs firth
they gorg n so is beutician!
Engaged 27th November 2010
Hen Do Newcastle 2nd June 2012
Marrying the man of my dreams 11th August 2012!
Honeymoon To Jamaica 14th October 2012
CommentAuthormrsV2013
thank you for that advice becky xx
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorKirstyJ22
One of my bridesmaids has actually said she'd prefer to pay for something so I have said to them that me and H2B will put our budget towards things for them and if they want something a bit more expensive, then they can put that extra towards it x
CommentAuthorClareS
We're paying for the dresses to be made, I'm paying so much towards their shoes. They're sorting their own hair out and but if they want something in it then I'll buy that. They're sorting their own make up too. I've also bought them a wrap/pashmina and having matching bag made for them as well x
CommentAuthorHayley Elizabeth
I presumed that you paid for your BM's? Although for my sisters wedding, i bought all the BM dresses as her gift xx
CommentAuthormrsV2013
aww thats nice hayley elizabeth xxx
hicory vicary dock i will be mrs rachel vicary :)
CommentAuthorNaomiD64
I asked one of the gurls whose to be a bridesmaid and she said she'd be happy to pay for everything as long as she gets to keep it as she said she's known some people to want the dresses back to sell it on. i guess it depends on the bridesmaids then. may be they are just happy to take part but if they covered at least the dresses it would be a help to us...would defo mean they get nice thank you pressies afterwards :)
I never thought that I would see the day that God
would give to me An awesome gift of love thats true
My Friend, My Sid, my booboo
Glad to be the future Mrs Bloodsaw :)
CommentAuthorObsidian_Winter
All of mine are paying for themselves. I chose the dress but gave them free reign with everything else.
CommentAuthorFitchMcCombe
i dont think there is a right or wrong way to do it, but i do think its cheeky to tell them what they are to wear and expect them to pay for it! at the end of the day it is our decision to get married and we're the ones who choose our bridal parties, they shouldnt have to be put on the spot financially because they agreed to fill the role. like the idea of it being their gift to the couple but it is a very expensive gift... we plan to do the opposite and choose styles that the girls like and will wear again and not give them a gift, though two of mine have already said off their own backs that if they get to choose (im not having them all matching) then they're more than happy to at least pay half.
CommentAuthorTeganandRob
My MOH offered to pay for her dress but I wasnt comfortable with that. She knows we're on a tight budget so just wanted to help. In the end we've settled on I will pay £50 towards whatever dress she wants, if it's more expensive she will pay the rest and she's providing her own shoes and jewellery.
I don't think there is any right or wrong way it's just what you all feel comfortable with.
