I had this with h2b, it was me or the booze. He chose me and now dont touch a drop. They can change if they want too but i did have to leave him for him to see what he was losing. Good luck hun. xx

this happened to me years ago ... my son was 2-3 .. met a guy fell in love he came to live with me and my son... my son went to his dads back then every weekend... every weekend wed go out or id go to work used to manage a bar in town hed come meet me at close 2am... everything was fine until we got in... he would be hammered.. throw food up the walls throw things at me.... i put up with it thinking who would want a single mum.... everything was great until the weekends.... i got brave and started to fight back he throw something at me and id stand up scream and shout and throw something back big mistake.... one weekend i had finished work came home and sat having a brew and just chilling for an hr before bed... he came in totally hammered again with pizza all loving and nice... pizza went flying... why because i said i didnt want any...and what happened next scared the living day lights out of me he pushed me on the floor and picked up the poofey and threw it down on me... i moved just in time... was like slow motion i could see this big wooden thing falling and him laughing ... where it landed crack the laminate flooring and left a 3 inch hole... where my head was... i went to bed shaken up feeling ill and just thought if i sleep it will stop.... he came up 10 mins later and demanded i sleep with him i said no and he picked me up and threw me down the stairs .... i have no memory of this but i was in hospital for a week and the ambulance guy came in to see me and told me what had happened.... apparently the guy i was with realised what he did as i was unconcious and rang an ambualance and felt all kinds of guilt... i was covered in blood unconcious and a possible broken neck! he came to visit me in hospital and said he didnt remember any thing and he didnt mean it .... and thats when i realised i had to get out ... it was never around my son always when he was at his dads ... but i knew if i stayed with him i would have stabbed him ... i got out and took me years to fully trust another man .. i was single (well the odd date here and there but never more than a 1st date) until 2 years ago and that guy taught me that all men arent the same ...

i have since found out that the violent ex had deep problems and that hes sought help for it ... but still doesnt excuse his actions...i used to feel ashamed of what happened to me but not any more as its important for others to hear that any form of violence and abuse is wrong and degrading... throwing pizza one minute to vases the next to being thrown down the stairs and near killed is another

good luck and i hope you make the right decision xx

I cant add anything moer then what the other ladies have said - we're all here for you and huge huge hugs babes xxxx

god,so sorry to hear you went thru that croc,cant imagine how horrible it must of been.x

well i know you will think im being niave and just trying to stick up for h2b but reading some of these comments he really is nothing like that,my mum sticks up for him because she says im too sensitive,he calls me a moody b***h or says im funny lookin when i pull a face and i get hurt and my mum says i should just laugh it off,also hes fine with drinking beer its when they go on the shots he gets stupid,so after mum pointed all this out last night me and h2b went off for our chat.i said i know sometimes i overreact and make the situation worse[sometimes it will start as a joke and im tired and get annoyed]but if he came in and went to sleep it wouldnt happen at all,i told him how i feel and that tho we dont argue,raise voices etc round kids if it carrys on they will begin to pick up on it and im not prepared to let that happen.he never used to do this it all started bout a yr ago so i said somet at obv happened for him to change and if he couldnt tell me what so we could sort it and put an end to it he might as well pack his bags and go right away because i wasnt prepared to take any more.he was very upset at the realisation of how much it had effected me and at the thought of it effecting the kids.he said he hasnt wanted to talk to me about what he s going thru because he thought it would be too hard for me to deal with on top of everything else,so basically he s been trying to cope with it and then when he has a drink stuff comes out without him realising it.he said when i had the clot everyone was saying how there was a high chance i wouldnt pull thru and he had to stay strong for kids and me and never really got to deal with how he felt,and when we lost the baby everyone asked how i was but no one really thought that he was going thru it too.he didnt want to say owt to me because i was hurting and he didnt want to sound selfish.he said he s tried to cut down on the going out[which he has ,he s only been out 3 times in last 6mnth] to stop it but as soon as he mentions a night out i get on at him about starting and it doesnt help,he knows that its his fault and he promises it will stop but he said if im going to stay with him i also need to stop throwing the past at him and move on.we v decided we both could do with talking to someone as we havent really dealt with the things that have happened,hes going to stop the shots,and im going to try trust him more,because we do need that break from each other when he s out.iv told him if it happens again he is straight out,i wont even discuss it with him,and he said he srealised it has come to that,and he loves me more than anything and is prepared to do anything to not lose me and the kids.i know some relationships start like this and end violently but i honestly believe what he says we are fine the rest of the time and this did all start just after i got ill,its certainly not an excuse but iv struggled to deal with things and never really thought how hard it must of been for him.xx

you didnt offend croc,what u went thru sounds terrible,and your right for getting out,my mum went thru violent realationships and it effected me as a child,id rather be a single parent than put my children thru that,i just kind of get it now,iv been a nightmare at times and friends/family av understood because of what iv been thru.he s been thru the same,if owt it was harder for him but he wrongly waits till he s had a drink to let his emotions out,my mum sauid if he hadnt had a drink people would understand more,the fact he does it when he s had a drink makes it seem that alcohol is the problem.and iv never seen it that way before,my mum loves me and kids to bits and would never see us go thru what she did and listening to my mum and h2b i know it is just our diff ways of dealing with everythin thats happened to us.x

no what i mean is people think its acceptable for me but not him,when its kind of the same situation.if things dont change ill leave but im not ready to give on something that is 99% of the time great and has no reason not top be great all the time,our friends and family know about the problems we are having so its not like it could even be hid.i just feel like he needs a chance to make things right,he s admitted it was wrong,if he was blaming everyone else and making it out to be nothing or refusing help id know it was time to leave .x

thanks and i do appreciate your help but altho some relationships should end because of bad stuff that doesnt mean they all should,iv a lot to throw away and i dont feel it would be fair on me,h2b or kids to just give up and walk out without trying.grief effects people in different ways and i need to support my h2b thru his grief and deal with it rather than just giving up on what has otherwise been a perfect 5 yrs together.we v been friends for 15 yrs and he isnt a bad person.its horrid to hear some of the things people have been thru on here but i can hand on heart say this really is different,this all started with my illness and i know that supporting each other and getting the help we need will change all that.x

i dont doubt that he will change and means everything he is saying... just remember that some times to change and deal with the problems and evauating the situation and his actions whilst with the person you care about the most and dealing with things that he cant talk about for what ever reason (hes a man and men dont have problems) make it a million times harder to fully acheive whilst you are still together, thats why i suggested a temporary break, and pick up when he and you have delbt with things... as i do believe what you have been through alrady you should also go speak to someone or you may well in the future even 10 yrs down the line end up angry and resentfull...

just thought id throw that out there and in the mix!!

not trying to show offence or tell you how to live your life or lecture you... just trying to give you some words of advise from someone whos been there bought the t shirt and sought help my self so that it doesnt affect me in years to come

what ever happens i hope you and the kids live a very happy life xx

Best of luck hun ... remember we're here if you need us xx

I would still be tempted to postpone the wedding until you get all of this sorted out....xx

omg dont know if iv portraid my situation wrong,but just watching the jeremy kyle repeat and that poor girl is nowt like my situation,i wouldnt put up with that.x