Is anyone paying for people to stay over at their wedding?

We are getting married where i grew up and by my family in somerset so H2B's family are travelling down from Birmingham which is 120 miles away. We picked a venue that has 21 rooms so everyone can stay over and has a travel lodge round the corner so options on price. The main hotel is £100 per night including breakfast and travelodge is £50 odd. Some of my H2B's family are excited about a mini holiday and weekend away and booking up the main hotel as got over a year to save whereas his sister and dad are moaning that it is a long way for them to drive and pay to stay over?! My mum offered to let his dad stay in her spare room but they are moaning about the petrol too - i know petrol is expensive but they have over a year to save. Am i being selfish expecting people to pay out for travel and accommodation? Should i put my foot down and say 'do as you wish' and leave them to sort themselves out or do we contribute to the hotel room?

Thanks ladies xxx

I tend to agree with you, they have plenty of time and i know its not their choice of location but this is his dad and sister so surely they would want to save up? We paid out a few years ago to stay over at their weddings and didnt moan.

His other sister has 4 children, 2 are my bridesmaid but she is paying out for 2 rooms for 2 night so just under £400, petrol, new dress for her, husbands suit and both boys to have new suits, plus my hen do, H2B stag do and drinks on the night.... and she hasnt moaned once but gets on as her little brother !!

most of my guest will be paying for there own accommodation a lot of my family are talking about hire caravans at haven for the weekend as will be cheap then hotel or b&bs. I'm going to pay for my brother though as he doesn't work and i know he cant afford it

My H2B sisters doesnt work either which makes me feel guilty but if i pay for one sister then should really be paying for his other sister and brother. I might speak to my mum again and see if she is still happy offering out her spare room - she wont be there as staying at the hotel with us but only 6 miles away and a free alternative for them.

We only paid for one room for guests and that was for my sister and her husband who came over from South Africa so had to pay for their flights which are really expensive. Everyone else paid for their own room ... even my mum who lives only 3 miles from where we satyed!

Yeah my mum is 6 miles down the road but when we viewed the venue with her she was in love with one of the bedrooms so she wants to stay one night too...

One of he conditions of our contract is that all bedrooms (23) have to be booked; so, if some aren't booked by guests, we have to pay anyway, but even so, we won't be comping people rooms. We are spending a LOT of money on food and drink, so we just won't be paying for people's accommodation on top of that. I also think it could become awkward if we did; how would we pick who could stay for eg?

The only exceptions to this are that me and H2B are probably going to pay for our parents rooms as a thank you, and I think my parents might pay for my uncle, and my aunt, uncle and cousin, as they don't have much money, and rooms cost from £160-200.

£50 is a really good price! I think it's probably the petrol costs that are the worst. And that's added on to the price of new outfits, wedding presents, drinks etc. They'll probably just have a moan then they'll be over it by the wedding. Try not to worry too much xxx

The reason we're paying for our parents is because mine are paying for most of the wedding; and H2Bs parents are paying for the cake, and contributing to the honeymoon; so it will be part of our thank you to them. Otherwise we probably wouldn't as their rooms will be costing £220 each, plus we're paying for ours which is £270 :-s

Yeah it does :-)

I'm a bit worried really because I think a load of us are staying the night before (the BMs, the best man, me and H2B (in different rooms), my brother, and our parents), and I'm worrying about the cost for everyone :-s But, no-one's being forced to stay over, they all just really want to, which makes me feel a bit better. But still, it's a big cost... And we won't be able to afford to pay for our parents to stay the night before unfortunately :-(

We're paying for mums room and h2b's parents room. (we're also in a round about way ended up paying for sil2b's room as well as she badgered mil2b about staying over so the price of the room is coming out of the money the inlaws gave to us towards the wedding!) Other than that everyone else is paying for their own if they want to stay over x

We are paying for my parents and his parents to stay at our venue with breakfast the next morning as part of our thank you to them but thats it!

i think were not going to pay for anyone. our venue itself doesnt have accomodation but we are staying at the marriot near by. i may pay for my parents but apart from that if anyone wants to stay the night they will have to pay, but our venue isnt too far from everyone any way x

We are not paying for anyone. I'm staying the night before and our room is complimentary on the night
I think it is down right rude to be moaning about their son/brothers wedding and especially TO YOU!!!
Wedding cost money! Even as a guest
I think £50 at the travel lodge is a bargain and on the petrol front, do they think they are the only ones paying high prices for petrol?
Sorry but i would be adopting a "don't like it? Don't come!" attitude to this if it were any of my guests!!

lilmisschuckles One of my local firms only has caucasion drivers. Apart from that explain that granddad sometimes speaks before thinking so wouldn't want to offend the driver. He once said to two schoolgirls eating ice cream 'can I have a lick' meaning the ice cream but could be seen another way.

Thats a lovely idea Higginszajac - my mum is doing a BBQ at hers on the Sunday after our wedding for nayone around that is hungry lol xxx

We'll definitely be helping out with some of our families costs if needs be (h2b's mum lives in Spain, so will be helping out with travel costs for them) But that's a special case IMHO, everyone else has plenty of time to budget, there are cheaper B&B's around if they don't want to stay at our hotel (although rooms are only gonna be £55ish, so not that much cheaper!)

I am paying for my moh/sister to stay at the venue the night before the wedding.The only reason i am doing this as she only lives down the road so doesn't need to stay i just want her to so that we can have some girly time etc. xxx

I agree with the others we aren't paying for any of our guests to stay and both our families live over 1 hour away from us and our venue. if they want to be there and share in your special day they will come and stay over if they wish - £50 is not expensive - especially if they have time to save!

We aren't but as we find hotel deals etc we've sent these to family members in case they want to book etc. We've organised a bus though to bring people to the wedding and reception though to minimise travel costs for them :-)

im paying for one bedroom for my photographer as he is a family friend, and is doing the photos and the album for nothing so we said we would pay for him to have a hotel room for the night and then he wont have to worry about getting home or whatever but i wont be paying for anybody elses thats for sure i cant afford to.

xx

We get 8 bedrooms (i.e. all the rooms at the hotel) included in our package so we're putting up the parents, the brothers and their partners, my moh (she's coming over from Switzerland) and my nan and gran. Breakfast is extra though and i'm not paying that!