My H2B and I have hired 2 vintage cars to transport me to the car, with one of the cars being limo style to fit the 4 bridesmaids and my mum. The aim was to have my dad and I in one and the bridesmaids and my mum in the other. My mum has refused to be in either car, saying it's not traditional. She loves vintage cars and although she wont admit it, will be heart broken if she doesn't go in a car.
I am more than happy for her to sit in the front of my car, if she really doesn't want to go with the bridesmaids.
Has anyone got any advice on how I can persaude her?
CommentAuthorNicholaP44
Oh dear. Wot does she want 2 do then? Get a taxi there? Well at the end of the day hun, u cant "make" any1 do something they dont want, but try and convince her, its ur wedding day 4 petes sake!! I really dont understand y families have 2 b so blooming awkward... grrrrr!!! Perhaps ur dad can have a word?? x x x
Marrying "the 1" on 4th Oct 2013
CommentAuthorMrsC2bee
Why doesn't she want to go with bridesmaids? I'm confused? I know it's not traditional for her to go with bride Nd father but don't get what's wrong with going with bridesmaids? Have u asked her how she is expecting to get there if she won't go with the bridesmaids x
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
I wouldn't let her in the car with you and your dad. Sorry but the bride's mother should not be in that car.
Tell her she has to get in the car with the bridesmaids or find someone herself to take her. Not liking a limo and refusing to get into it for that reason is very petty I would tell her that too.
CommentAuthorLittle Kettle
I have a mother that is a big PitA. Over the years I have tried numerous things that I know my mum would enjoy, but she insists on playing the martyr and at the end of the day, the only person that it really hurts is herself. I used to get really upset about it, but I know now that this behaviour from her (and I'm not saying it's the same fro your mum) is just attention seeking. So now, if she refuses to take part in something, then I just say fine, see you in a bit, and go off and enjoy myself. But my mother and I do have a strange relationship and realise that this may not sit well with everyone...
I'm a bit confused here because as far as I know it actually is tradition for the mother of the bride to travel with the bridesmaids so I dont really see what her problem is? Tell her its her choice, she either goes with the bridesmaids or has to make her own way there xxx
Got together 14.02.2008
Got engaged 31.12.2010
Will become a Mrs on 30.08.2014 xxxxxx
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
Mothers can be hard to deal with. Mine told me my wedding ribbons on the chairs must be either pink or white and must not be any other colour. I politely told her I will choose my own colours of Ribbons. A week goes by and she tells me she knows a woman who decorates venues and is ordering a certain shade of pink ribbon for me. I said ok you order whatever colour of ribbons you want but they are not going on the chairs that day and you can use them for something else. My mother was like "What?" I just said "I told you politely last week I'm choosing my wedding colours, now I'm telling you again!"
Put it this way, that was in June and ribbons have not been mentioned since lol. But why oh why do some mothers have to twist everything? She even tried to talk me out of asking my best friend to be my bridesmaid (who I've been BFF with for 30 years). I completely sympathise with anyone who is having to deal with an awkward mother or mother-inlaw!
CommentAuthorJillianL47
Thank you all for your advice.
She doesn't think it is traditional to go with the bridesmaids. I think she is just being ridiculous and really want her to go in one of the cars.
I'm going to drop the subject for a little while and bring it up in a few months, when she's hopefully changed her mind.
CommentAuthorGlitterfairy
Maybe you should print something off the net to prove to her that it is traditional for her to travel with the bridesmaids and not yourself and your Dad. She may understand then that she is being silly over this. My Mum drove herself to my wedding, but then again, I got ready at the venue so we did not need cars.
Our wedding day - 6 October 2012
CommentAuthorMrsK2b
It is traditional for the Mother of the Bride to travel with the bridesmaids to the church or venue.
I would leave it for a month or so and then bring it up again.
I dont think its right that she should go with you and your dad thats your time with your dad.
Cant wait until I become Mrs K
CommentAuthorlala "mod" bunni
the MOB is meant to travel with the bridesmaids ... it was seen as being able to make sure the BM`s behaves before arriving at the venue
She's supposed to go with the bridesmaids if you follow tradition.... (taken from the web)
Traditionally the groom organises the wedding transport (bet his buddies can’t wait to help), but before you let them loose on every car hire firm in town, let’s look at some logistics.
Firstly, there are three separate groups to cater for. It is usual for and your father to arrive at the wedding venue in one car. Your mother, the bridesmaids and other members of the bridal party travel in a separate car, with the groom and best man in a third.
The bridesmaids’ car should arrive first, followed by yours. Arrange to get there at least ten minutes before the wedding is due to start so that can check your hair and make-up, and catch your breath.
After the ceremony, you and your new husband will ride in the first car. Your parents and attendants travel in the second car with the groom’s parents in the third. Of course, if you have a very large bridal party you may require more than three cars.
Married my best friend 05.04.2013
CommentAuthorJackieFC
hmm thats not helpful considering its your day! :(
my mum is coming in the wedding car with me, as my dad and i clash, and need to be relaxed before i get married
CommentAuthorJillianL47
Oooh, I didn't realise it was tradition. That may help my case. I shall see if I can find a web page to print to prove it, when I decide to approach the topic again in a few months. Thank you everyone.
CommentAuthormym72
edited
My mum didn't travel in the wedding car. I know it's supposed to be 'traditional' but it isn't compulsory. If she really doesn't want to, then the only thing you can do is ask her if she needs a taxi booking or maybe arrange a lift for her.
I booked a taxi to take my mum from the hotel to the wedding venue - as she travelled with my aunty and hubby's cousin, as they were the only ones without transport to the venue. In the wedding car, hubby, best man, usher and my bridesmaid travelled there first - then I travelled with my dad.
I'm sure if she really doesn't want to travel with the bm's she doesn't have to. Don't worry, she'll get there whatever she travels by.
CommentAuthorKerrieM47
I hope she comes round hun x
Parents can be such a pain ...
CommentAuthorKellyN29
nightmare, I wonder what my mum expects?? Good luck hope she comes round
CommentAuthorButton-Bell
sorry im gonna rant a little about this
sounds like shes making a stressful situation unnecessarily more stressful for you just say you have 3 options sit in-front of your car with your dad (the untraditional option) go with the bridesmaids like you planned and the traditional option or get herself there in her own steam you have more important things to be dealing with other than her having a tantrum and making things more difficult for you
sorry that was a bit of a rant but people who do this really annoy me your going out your way to include them in your wedding n all they do is throw spanners in the work if there not happy its not your problem its theres its your day and they should just deal with it with a smile on there face and nothing but nice things to say to you
hope she makes her mind up soon and stops causing you so much stress xx
CommentAuthorkrazykitty
I didnt realise about the three cars lol ry wants a bus to take everyone from reg office up to the reception so that would rule out the need for the other cars so im thinking a limo to take my mum n bms (n maybe my bro) first then me and my dad x ry can make his own way haha xx
i cannot wait to marry my best friend
i love you ry!!!
engaged midnight 2009
Mrs Ryan Sheader (to be) lol :D
CommentAuthorButton-Bell
see im getting a limo with my bridesmaids on my wedding day n meeting my best friend (who is walking me down the aisle) at the venue n i think my H2B is walking round from a hotel round the corner where he is staying the night before
CommentAuthorTatty
Sorry to be blunt but I would just say that if she doesn't like it to make her own way there. You have provided two alternatives and it just sounds like she is being picky x
Love: A wildly misunderstood, although highly desirable,
malfunction of the heart.
37 Pounds down, 22 pounds to go! I will be a skinny bride!
28th March 2014 will be the day I marry my best friend.
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
I've often found it strange that the mother and father of the groom are the ones that's left out because they dont get the limo treatment at all. So I was wondering if your mother doesn't want to travel with the bridesmaids (like normal mother of the brides) is it possible she can travel with the grooms parents and that gives them the special treatment too? It would not look right if she arrived by herself. Ok they might be coming from two different places but perhaps something could be worked out.
By the way you could always ask who was in the car with her on her own wedding day and maybe she will say just her dad then you could say there ya go!
CommentAuthorMrs-Mouse-2-be
All I can say is thankfully my own mother knows the score in this department as she's been to numerous weddings and was mother of the groom a few years back. I get the feeling your mum wants some of the attention that you and your dad are going to get, and if this is the case I would assure her that when the mother of the bride arrives with the bms she gets a heck of a lot of attention anyway.
