My Parents split years and years ago and are both remarried. I get on well with my dad but I havent spoken to the step mum in a few years as we dont see eye to eye and as such just ignore each other completely!! I know my mums side of the family dont like her either and I dont really want her there but i feel bad for my dad if i dont invite his wife. Whats any one think or done in this situ? Kirsty x
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
I think for your dads sake you should invite her, he may not come without her. No matter what anyone else thinks of her he must love her and it is a big ask to tell him she isn't invited. This is a very tricky one, i guess it boils down to how much you want your dad there........you will be too busy to really be preoccupied with her being there and everyone else might just have to put their feelings aside so that your day goes just the way it should. I don't know if that helps, probably not the advice you wanted :S xx
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorcecileinlondon
edited
Hi Kirsty, I am not realy close to my dad so even less to my step mum, we meet one every 5 years or so and exchange 1 message every 6 months on FB. When we meet she usually found something enoying to say about my hair, my shape, my attitude, ... so when it came to the wedding the question was do we want the, or my dad only. We did invite both of them as we thought should be together or not, as I would not like Lionel to be invited to a wedding without me. They came together and she only made compliment. We didn't talk lot as we never do but it was nice and we had a good day together. I think that the main question is what if it where you receiving the invite what will you fill? Good luck with your decision. xxx
CommentAuthorGregorysGirl
That is a fair point, i would be gutted if Greg was invited somewhere and not me too, we are a couple at the end of the day. And Greg wouldn't go anywhere without me. We have been invited to a bbq this weekend, and i didn't really fancy going but feel i have to now as Greg won't go without me and it is his mate. x
Finally reunited with the love of my life
Never to part again
This Saturday I will finally be Mrs Codling!
CommentAuthorKerrylou
I'd also say try and put the shoe on the other foot - if you were said 'wicked stepmother' how would you feel if you weren't invited? Personally I'd invite them both and if she gets a bit funny with you on the day then have someone on standby (Best Man, Usher, MOH) to take her away and have 'quiet' words. And anyway, if you ignore each other then it doesn't really matter if she's there. I wouldn't risk hurting your dad though, especially if you 2 get on quite well xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
Thanks for the advice girls, i kinda knew i had to invite her as I dont want to upset my dad Im just dreading her having to come as shes so critical and worried incase it upsets my mum etc families! :S x x x
CommentAuthorMrsSandiBillany
I'm in a similar situation with H2B's family more importantly his Step-Dad... I LOVE his Step-Mum and couldn't dream of her not being there, but i REALLY don't get on well with his step-dad, neither does he, however we couldn't invite his SM and not his SD. Like others have said, how would you feel if your H2B was invited to a wedding and you were not? Just ignore her, maybe have a word with your dad and ask him to have a word (but ask him to make it coming from him, not you through him) asking her not to try not to criticise and to try and keep out of yours and your mum's way because HE dosn't want you to be upset.
CommentAuthorKerrylou
That's why I say have someone on standby - there's every possibility that world war 10 is going to break out on our wedding day but I can't not invite any of these people because they're family, so Ushers on standby for us. If her or your mum's side family have any shred of decency, self respect and dignity then they should be able to respect you and your hubby and keep it buttoned for 1 day, they've got the rest of their lives to bicker, criticise and nit-pick. Could you have a word with your dad and explain your concerns? If he's aware that you're nervous then he can keep an eye on things for you xxx
It's right what they say
"The course of true love never runs smoothly"
But if it had been easy then we wouldn't love each other as
much as we do right now - 1 week to go :D
CommentAuthorNaomiH25
hmmm i have the same dilemma. i love my dad but for the past few years he's non stop put me down. hasn't been proud of what iv done. (iv graduated in 2009 with a degree, then travelled for a year in Australia on my own and held down jobs in the u.k, whats not to be proud of considering i am DEAF!) i hate his wife and i mean HATE. we used to be so close, wasn't until my ex dumped me and a few days later my wicked stepmother told me that my ex was sleeping with her SISTER!!! she told it to get over it and we are not blood so its acceptable. anyways long story short, im getting married next year and i dont know whether its even worth the hassle and money to even invite either of em?! help!!!
ps my h2b dislikes my dad and he has no interest in meeting the wicked step mother.
met in August 2003 - the year we finished school
back in touch on 19/1/11, finally got together on 27/3/11
Engaged on 30/08/12 during a Slash Concert in Perth
Mrs Dalby on 27/12/13
CommentAuthorKathleenJ
edited
I'm having a similar issue with H2B's family. They hate me with an absolute passion and due to the way they've treated me, I can't stand them. However, he wants a few of them to be invited.
Don't see why I should make pleasantries with people who have torn pieces off me and risk setting of World War Three. I'm hoping they just don't show up.
Step mums and step dads are a funny one. If you don't see eye to eye anyway, she might not even want to go?
CommentAuthorTori
I would have a word with your dad and perhaps make it clear she is only getting an invite to please him and that if she dates make any critical comments on the day she will be given her marching orders x
CommentAuthormrsMcF2b
You should invite her for your dads sake. Imagine how u would feel if your hubby was invited to a wedding without you:( I've had to invite some people I normally wouldn't but its hard to invite one without the other. Just do as normal and ignore each other and I'm sure ur day will still be perfect :) xx
