Wedding Forum - Inviting people just because you "have to"...

im not sure if i have posted in the right bit, but sorry if i havent, i hae just been doing some sums, and looking at my ever increasing Guest list!
we started off with a budget of £5k, it is now closer to £15K!!! well anyway as i sed been doing some sums and if if i do not inite people i dont know, but have been told i have to coz they are "family" then i will b saving £1860!!!!! that is just on the wedding b/fast alone!!!
now me n H2B have been together for nearly 6 years, and all of these "unknowns" are from his side of the family and i have not ever ever met a single one of them!!
would i b wrong to just not invite them? H2B will not have a problem with this as he doesnt know them either, but MIL and GMIL WILL have problems with this - i really really cannot b bothered with arguments, but nearly £2k is a lot to save!
any ideas/suggestions on how i can tactfully tell them i dont want to invite ppl i dont know??
i dont want to just come out with "its our weddin, we will do it our way" because that will cause hurt feelings and i dont want that either!
thanx in advance :) xXx

Everyone has got 'family' members like that.... u only see them on weddings and funerals...
Wont be inviting any of them.
Dont think its wrong... its your day!
Why would you want to spend it with people you dont even know, and probbably wont see ever again.
Not sure how tactfully MIL will see it... Just tell her your budget is not unlimited.

i have tried explainin the budget issue, and she just says oh dont worry about that now, if u havent got enough by the time it comes to paying for it we will lend it to u n u can pay us after :/ i do feel bad :( i was gonna leave it to H2B to tell her when he comes home - but he isnt so tactful lol i do feel bad :( i dont wana upset MIL as she has been amazing helpin me with loads (not financially, just with helpin me plan coz im cluless and H2B not here) but jus starting to feel a little overwhelmed :S i didnt really want a big wedding, an afternoon wedding with a big party would have done me, but now im having a 5 course meal in some old house :S lol
xXx

-thanx girls :) makin me feel so much better! :)
im just goin to sit down with MIL and tell her that i have been doin sums, and its costing way too much, and thankyou for her offer to lend us money but we dont want to be in debt to anyone over it, and that i have spoken to H2B and we have decided that we are only inviting people that we have seen/spent time with in the past year, and that means cutting people from my side too.
just because there are people we dont really know and we dont want to feel awkward at our own wedding, but we will b invinting every1 to the evening...good compromise??
do you think this will work?? :/ xxx

If you are happy for them to come to the evening and it isn't costing you silly money then it is a good compromise but you and the h2b have to be happy with and feel comfy.

i know the feeling i have the same prob with most of the family couse i can only have 25 guest to our wedding and most feel they have a right to be there , But when u can only choose so many you want them to be close family and friends not just becouse they are family and never talk to u from one year to the next , so dont feel guilty .xx

If they want them to come they pay for it :D

Louise - I have a similar situation...I am pretty sure that some members in my family won't make the effort to come to the wedding as they have made little effort in my life so far so I sent a 'provisional invite' for 'numbers' and have already had a response saying no. Not a suprise at all and I am happy that I don't have to spend money on them. Fortuantely the parent whose family this is sees my point.

I'd say no - have you tried the approach of aunts and uncles only as the families are that big and the cousins can come to the evening function? We're doing this

We've got a similar issue, but not with family members - with work colleagues! I run a small charity and feel that I would like to invite one or two people I work with but if I invite them, I'll have to invite everyone else, which will amount to about an extra 15 members of staff. on top of that, I've got my board - one is my line manager and the other is our chair, who I work very closely with and if I invite them then I'll feel I have to invite their partners too! It's a political mine field! x

OK, so I know my chair's partner (he runs the building our office is based in) and their Son! I don't know my boss' partner though. So what do I do there - I don't feel that I can invite our chair and her family but not my bosses family - he might feel really awkward if our chair is with her family and he's on his own...

tell MIL2B and GMIL2B that if they want them there, they can pay for them coz you really cant afford to pay for them. Why should you fork our all the money on someone you dont know?

With my work collegues i've said 4 can come only to the day part. (They can fight that out between themselves!!!)
The rest are welcome to the evening part x

My Dad was one of 5 and was not close to his family when I was growing up, a lot of them I have not seen since I was a baby and I am 27 now. I don't even know how many cousins I have so am keeping the guest list to the people H2B and I have both spoken to. (some of my family live up the line so the only contact we have had has been on the phone or online).

My mum is one of 6 and it seems like the rest of them are close and we are the black sheep, I try to maintain a relationship with them but only speak to a couple of my cousins, one of my cousins has even ignored my fb friend request more than once when there has never actually been a falling out!! I feel guilty for not inviting them though and feel like they will be slagging me off behind my back if I don't. Reading this though, I am going to listen to all the advice everyone has given Loola and just get ruthless with the guest list. Those I am unsure of, I will text or send a message on FB and if I don't get a reply, they are off!!

Don't feel pressured to invite people you don't know as you will have enough to deal with on your big day without worrying and feeling nervous about meeting people (especially those that are supposed to be new relations) for the first time. xx

Sorry for the long post. xx